Choosing to adopt a new language helps pave the way to healthy and positive conversations that will create a ripple effect for the entire family.
Becoming less susceptible to emotional triggering, especially by a bully, is possible and desirable.
After eight years of separation, my children's father and I pride ourselves on the relationship we keep for the benefit of our children.
What we've lost in fireworks and butterflies, we've more than made up in connection, comradery, respect and depth.
I knew how harmful the effects of parental conflict could be and it was something I wanted to minimize for my kids.
As a divorce attorney, I've seen marriages dissolve for reasons that run from the trivial to the deadly serious. But there's one cause of divorce that seems to draw the most attention: adultery. Perhaps because we consider marriage to be a contract of love, adultery seems like the most serious abrogation of a couple's vows to each other.
I don't want to dwell on the past or on my divorce. I only want to look ahead. I'm grateful that things worked out as they did, even though it's been hard. I hope my kids will be resilient because of this. I hope they will realize how strong they are. How lucky they still are to have two parents who love them very much, even if their parents no longer love one another.
Lying isn't bad when you want to save someone from pain or confusion because they are too little to understand that the world can be ugly and bad. They have time to watch the news when they are bigger, to learn about terrorist attacks and shootings, about cheating and even strip clubs. But I promise, it won't be from me.
Getting divorced isn't the end goal. It's the start of being divorced. There's a bigger picture, a longer race. It's an art we strive to master and it takes so much work. So pace yourself, my friends. It seems more and more like at least half of us are in it together.
This was not the way I'd envisioned raising my kids: as part of a broken family, with so many overwhelming feelings and an inherent sadness that I can't easily fix. And I certainly had not expected my kids to struggle with our divorce for as long as they have. I hadn't known they would suffer so deeply.