I remember learning in an undergraduate sociology class about the impact geography played on romance and thinking how sad that was... Specifically, I thought (at the time) if there is only one "soul mate" for every person in the world and if you were born on one side of the world and your "soul mate" was on the other side, you could end up living a life soul mate-less.
However, through the miracle of Skype and various social media, geography should no longer be a barrier to being with your soul mate. Yes, it's possible to have a successful LDR! It's just a matter of having the will to make it work. LDRs require a lot of work, but for the right person, it can be worth it. So how do you make it work? Here's how.
1. Regular Communication. With the likes of Skype and G-Chat we have finally reached the Jetson era where you can actually talk to someone and see them -- for free! If you are in a LDR, you must frequently take advantage of this, but it should not feel like a chore. It must be natural, with a yearning to hear from your beloved and share your experiences that occurred during the day. You can even have fun by sending random texts letting your beloved know just how special they are to you, or that you were thinking of them.
2. Have an End Date for the LDR. An LDR should not be indefinite... This can and will be trouble eventually. It's best to know that the current situation is not permanent and there should be a goal in mind as to when the torture of the LDR will end and the two of you will be reunited in the same area code.
3. Plan Regular Visits. My suggestion is to not stay apart for more than 30 days. Each time you see each other, make sure you have already planned the next visit. It gives you both something to look forward to and prevents you from feeling that "this is the end" after each visit. More importantly, it keeps the relationship alive and keeps it from becoming an "imaginary relationship."
4. Trust is King. This is a hard one because trust (as I will discuss in a later blog) requires a vulnerable willingness and often takes time to develop. However, the truth of the matter is that you have no other option but to trust the person you're with if you are going to choose to be in an LDR. Without this, an LDR is fruitless. To assist with this, communication is key. You must speak up when something is bothering you.
5. Beware. If you have a propensity for cheating, stay away from LDRs. In fact, stay away from dating for awhile and really work on this characteristic of yourself. Cheating is not cool.
6. Be Creative. Find ways to let your special someone know that they mean the world to you. Whether it is sending them a bouquet of flowers, a handwritten note or a care package, here's your chance to make the weakness of distance a strength and capitalize on being romantic.
Overall, when it comes to love I do not believe geography should limit relationships. This world is way too big for you to be denied that perfect connection. Besides, absence does make the heart grow fonder. But, you BOTH must be committed to the success of a LDR. Otherwise, it is futile.
Your Non-Relationship Expert, Girl With a Blog,
Nicole