09/12/2014 04:47 EDT | Updated 11/12/2014 05:59 EST

Why Being Single Is Harder Than Ever

If you didn't lock down a life partner around 2007, you've probably experienced how laughably difficult dating is for single young professionals (YPs) in our big, yet ever-so-small cities.

It seems nobody wants to settle down. And those who do are usually disgruntled and disappointed in the end.

Don't get us wrong; it's totally fun and all, with no shortage of date spot options to choose from, but here are's 6 reasons why it's more difficult than ever on the single scene -- especially if you're looking for a relationship.

Social media.

We don't have to tell you that social media has been both a blessing and a curse for single YPs since we all jumped on the Facebook bandwagon in 2006/07. Not only has it made it easier to keep tabs and bust lies (not to mention break up relationships), it also opens us up to a world of easily researchable options just a quick click away. As in, the whole greener grass mentality of 'why would I settle when there are so many options in the social media world, a dozen of whom just 'liked' my profile picture...?'


If you thought Facebook opened you up to a ton of options, Tinder is far worse. Making things way easier than they should be, it virtually serves as a daily reminder that there are actually countless interesting and attractive YP singles in your city that you haven't met yet. Options, of course, aren't a bad thing ... but it makes it way more enticing not to seek a relationship. Just think about it -- are you ready to give up all those right swipes?

Increased competition.

Those of us lucky enough to start our careers right at the beginning of the recession know how hard you have to pound the pavement in order to get anywhere in our increasingly competitive cities. And that requires a ton of work. When you literally eat, drink, and sleep your career, who has time for a potential relationship and its accompanying expectations of 'date nights,' moral support, and Home Depot on Sundays?

The scene.

More so than ever, there's something amazing happening every night of the week in our cities. Between restaurant openings, charity events, big and small theatre, art exhibitions, sporting events, and concerts (not to mention that it's a friend's birthday every week), we are perpetually entertained and over-stimulated. This distracts us from the desire for a relationship because it's so easy not to be bored, lonely, or alone in our thoughts. Of course, the fact that 'the scene' comes complete with no shortage of tempting options doesn't help our cause much either.

Everyone knows everyone.

Thanks to social media, YP charity events that inspire networking, and the increasing interconnectivity of businesses and industries in our cities, everyone seems to know everyone. This makes it difficult to date when you find out that sexy stranger you chatted up at the bar last night once dated your best friend's sister or when the two potential Tinder gems are actually co-workers.

The romance is gone.

Thanks to things like Tinder, social media, text messaging (remember the good old phone call?) and time-saving everything, it seems that an old-fashioned hint of anything organic and romantic is missing from the equation in our YP dating lives. Though it still exists in rom coms, those of us with similar high hopes of a serendipitous courtship are usually disappointed.

Now, before you go calling us jaded or cynical, we acknowledge there are exceptions, and we know countless numbers of happy couples who have fallen in love recent years. Indeed, online dating sites have been the starting points for more than a couple of friends' marriages, Tinder does save time and 'the scene' can also serve as a valuable place to connect with other singles.

Sometimes, though, we wish we could go back to dating the old-fashioned way.


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