05/18/2016 10:15 EDT | Updated 05/19/2017 05:12 EDT

Life Lessons My Hair Taught Me

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Beautiful young woman with long curly hairs

Let me start off by saying I have really curly hair -- the kind of curls that as a kid you have no clue what to do with so you end up walking around with what resembles a big fluffy cloud. But who wants cloud hair?! I sure didn't, so I resolved to straightening my hair for 30 years. I definitely went through a hair evolution over the course of my life, and if I were a celebrity you would see the typical 'then and now' photo montage in a magazine of all the different hairstyles I endured.

There was the ringlet phase, the short fluffy phase, the attempt at no bangs but couldn't quite let them go phase, the straightening with a real iron phase, the blonde phase, the short straight bob phase, the straight hair with bangs phase and the weave phase... yes, you read that correctly. I've now finally settled for the au naturel look and don't intend on having any more hair phases in my life.

Instead, I'm embracing and accepting what I was born with -- crazy, wild, sexy curls. However, it is fun to change it up once in a while so today after almost a year, I decided to straighten my hair. As I worked the flat iron through my frizz I had a realization -- my hair has grown -- a lot! I know that sounds silly but after years and years of my hair not growing this was huge! The more I studied this small miracle the more I realized my hair was teaching me some significant life lessons!


1) Don't Force It

The more you try to force something that's not meant to be, the more time, money and energy you waste. I spent so much time forcing my hair to be straight -- I invested so much in products, appliances and stylists but I still couldn't get my hair to look like Jennifer Aniston -- WTF?! How many times in life have you banged your head against a wall trying to get something to work and it just wasn't? When you can find a way to let go and try a new approach you may end up surprising yourself with the results. As soon as I started letting my hair do its thing, life just got easier. I saved time, money and energy but most importantly my sanity!

2) Have Patience

The main reason I finally caved and decided to let nature do its thing with my hair is because I was frustrated at the fact it wasn't growing. I knew it was because of all the heat damage and how unhealthy it had become. So I took a vow to give it a break. There are so many times in our lives when we push ourselves to our limits -- often to the point of burnout or illness. You need to give yourself some space to breathe and develop healthy habits. When you allow yourself time to heal that's when you open yourself up to substantial growth. Just like my hair.

3) You Can't Hide

No matter how many serums, creams, or sprays I used you could always tell my hair wasn't really supposed to be straight. There was always some type of kink, and on humid days all bets were off! Not to mention it was all a temporary fix anyways. As soon as I washed my hair I would be back to square one. So many of us hide behind some type of mask -- maybe it's our clothes and appearance, money, or status. Despite how much effort you put into your appearance it's not going to change who you are underneath it all. It's important you stay true to who you are because it doesn't take much for someone to see through all the smoke and mirrors.

The next time you're fighting with your mane, ask yourself what exactly your hair is trying to teach you -- you may learn a very valuable lesson!

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