02/09/2014 11:23 EST | Updated 04/11/2014 05:59 EDT

The Perfect Valentine's Gift Doesn't Come From a Store

Valentine's day is not for me. Don't get me wrong, I watched The Notebook and cried hysterically, I love a good love story or Nicholas Sparks book just as much as all of the romantic women out there but it's what Valentine's day has become that throws me off.

It's a day when men feel pressured to deliver above and beyond what they do throughout the year. It's a day when women hope will be the magical day where he chooses to finally propose or will remember that you have been such an amazing wife and will swoon all over you and buy you flowers, jewelery, spa gift certificates etc.. OK people, let's get real!

It's a day that will not make up for all of the crap that happened throughout the year. It doesn't make up for not listening when your partner needed to talk, or not being there when your partner could have used a helping hand. It doesn't make up for the evil thoughts you felt when your wife nagged you about the things you have yet to get done around the house, or the even more evil thoughts you were feeling when your husband dropped his clothes in a path through your room to the laundry basket instead of in the basket. I'm pretty sure that no matter how much you love your "better" half, the rant going on in your head when these situations happen is way beyond anything that I could post online without using a whole lot of evil looking emoticons. #NuffSaid

So maybe, just maybe, we can do something to bring back what this holiday was supposed to be about. Valentine's day shouldn't be about the pressure of gifts, cards, flowers and cupcakes. Maybe it should be about reflecting where you could have done a better job. A better job supporting your partner; A better job telling your partner how much you love them and can't live without them; A better job remembering your priorities and how they have nothing to do with the value of the gifts but the quality of the life you have created together.

So you guessed it, my darling husband is going to get a mushy card with my words of adoration because he has been the best husband anyone could ask for. He's been my rock when I should have been his, he's been my helping hand at the best and worst of times. Yes, he's been the best husband even when he was rolling his eyes while I was telling a perfectly interesting story about a sale at Loft during Sunday football.

Instead of focusing on the pressures of Valentine's day, the gifts behind the holiday, the expensive menus that restaurants put out for the holiday, I want to start a new tradition. I want to use this hyper-commercialized holiday NOT to spend it stressing about the perfect gift, but rather stressing over the perfect words to remind my husband that he's my one. Now that as far as I'm concerned is a holiday worth celebrating and is what Valentine's day should be all about.


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