05/25/2012 09:50 EDT | Updated 07/25/2012 05:12 EDT

Week 16: Can I Have My (Birthday) Cake and Lose Weight Too?

Normally I don't get all girly about my birthday and I'm not about to start today. But I must confess a bit of elation at turning 53 on the same day I lost 2.6 pounds. Getting off this plateau of 234 has been maddening.

When researching weight loss one fact continues to be repeated over and over: it becomes harder to lose weight with age. One might consider outfoxing this situation by simply not aging, but that presents a problem of its own -- dying -- that comes with a whole set of new problems. For one, it's impossible to exercise once rigor mortis sets in. You think you're sore now -- just you wait. Have you seen how stiff zombies are when they walk? You may be tired of rice cakes but try imagining a diet made solely from live brains. So let's assume we're stuck with the harder-to-lose-with-age phenomenon.

With each new year you chalk up, it's one more degree of upstream to fight against. It's that much more you have to exercise, that much more food you need to cut out. And that's just to maintain! Oh, you wish to actually lose weight too? Well...

2012-05-25-FD.jpgSo it is with pride that I get to publish this photo from this morning. Sorry for not sticking candles between my toes and lighting them to present a more festive mood. I take these pictures right after waking up when I'm most likely to brush my teeth with Preparation H by mistake. Not a good time for open flames.

The immediate question on my mind is: Am I going out to a birthday dinner tonight? Will I indulge in some cake? I can answer the second question easily because apparently my so-called friends at Huffington Post Canada didn't save me any cake from their fab one-year celebration. Maybe in their defence there was no cake. But they had smores and I've got proof! Seriously, not even a single marshmallow?

My family is, indeed, taking me out to my favorite restaurant. I will enjoy myself and eat/drink moderately. But I am also working out at least five days a week. And tomorrow I'll carve out extra time, enough to run 10K, just for insurance. I am 53 years old and I weigh 231.6 pounds. I never want to weigh more than that ever again.