THE BLOG
03/05/2012 11:33 EST | Updated 05/05/2012 05:12 EDT

Checking Reality Instead of Weight

Last week I threw a conniption fit because baby couldn't have a Cinnabon. That was a fun blog to write but reading it days later I felt pangs of shame. Is this really the worst thing in my life right now that I have to exercise some self-control around my food intake?

I have an online friend whose sister has less than a full set of lungs. Doctors removed the lobe of one but because of all the scar tissue, they weren't able to feel the rest of her lung to remove the other nodules they know are in there. The ones that will eventually kill her. After losing a leg and countless other surgeries, my friend's sister has bravely come to peace with her fate. There will be no more surgeries. She is, and will always be, 22.

Last week I threw a conniption fit because baby couldn't have a Cinnabon. That was a fun blog to write but reading it days later I felt pangs of shame. (Pro tip: Humble pie is both fat-free and has no calories.) Is this really the worst thing in my life right now that I have to exercise some self-control around my food intake? Versus what a lot of others have to deal with on a daily basis? I have all my limbs, I'm healthy, my family is healthy, and I've never had to make a trip to the graveyard to drop off a son or daughter. I have a good life.

When I'm exercising or eating well, I feel closer to my better self. Anybody can do anything for a month, including watching calories or counting Weight Watcher points. But what will propel us to keep the program going long after vanity or the resolution has faded? For me, it's the notion that I can do better as a person. I can face north with my back straighter. Think the Greatest Generation.

Think Davey Jones. Here's a guy who lit up a bazillion people's spinal cords like Christmas lights. Go listen to "Valleri" and I dare you to stand perfectly still. You can't. Same with "Look Out (Here Comes Tomorrow)." While I've been seriously bummed about his passing, it's been great to read from so many people who really loved the guy.

There was another big death last week -- that one in the online media world -- and the best the obit writers and the blogosphere could come up with was a vague, numb feeling of sadness for his family. I'd like to hope that when I kick it won't be so hard for somebody to write something positive about my contribution.

Davey Jones faced north and if eating well and exercising makes me point in the same direction, that's all I need to stay motivated.