03/22/2013 05:32 EDT | Updated 05/22/2013 05:12 EDT

Still Holding On to Anger About an Ex? Let it Go

unhappy couple going through...

I am friends with all my exes! Many people find this very strange. I also talk quite regularly to most of my exes and each one of them always calls me to wish me happy birthday! At my last birthday party, my ex came with her new partner, who I adore and we all had a grand old time!

I like receiving regular updates on my exes and I'm very close with most of them! Some of my exes have even flown or driven 15 hours to come to visit me in my new home and we have shared delightful conversations, giggling like school girls way into the night! I truly adore all of my ex partners and I think they are wonderful, amazing, brilliant people! I'm so glad that I have chosen wisely.

So, it's hard for me to comprehend loving someone so deeply and intimately and then pretending as if they never existed! Many years ago I had an extremely bad break up, and because there was so much hurt between us we decided to not speak. This was one of the most difficult and challenging times of my life. It kept me up at night. I went to therapy about it, and could not rid myself of the anger and hurt! I was filled with rage and took no responsibility for the role that I played in the demise of our relationship. I cried about it often. I told everyone I could the list of offences by my ex!

Yet even though I was angry, I just couldn't understand how someone I loved so deeply could act as if we never were... I was so sad that we were not able to come together to talk it out or even be in the same room without some sort of "drama" unfolding!

Thankfully, time does heal all wounds and five years after our break up, I swallowed my pride and realized that I didn't need to be "right" I just wanted to be at peace. So I swallowed my pride and I sent a "peace" email and we agreed to meet. At that meeting we both shed tears of joy and hurt. We were able to talk and work things out. We both realized we needed to be in each other lives. There was so much more we needed to learn from each other, and much more growing that we needed to do as well. There was too much love there for us to just walk away -- too much herstory.

As I get older and I become more committed to my spiritual path, I have little time for bitterness, anger, or hurt. I'm a person who loves passionately and loves deeply. I'm loyal. And if I tell you I love you, I will love you for life! You become my family. I pray often for all my exes, wishing them joy, love and laughter all the things I wish for myself.

I also realize that everyone who comes into your life is a reflection of you. You chose them, they are mirrors of who you are, and you attracted them. So for me, every one of my partners have been beautiful learning lessons. I have loved them all differently. Learnt different things. And they have truly shaped the womyn I am, and slowly evolving to be. I loved them and I still love them all in my own special way. I want each one of them to be happy and live inspired lives! And I truly thank each and everyone of them for loving me fiercely.

So my lesson to to everyone today is, I truly encourage you, to let go of anger, hurt and blame. If there is an ex in your life whom you feel anger towards or cannot speak to them, let them go...let them go with love. Daily bless them and pray for them. Don't hold on to anger it's not good. Write them a letter, send it, or maybe don't send it. Maybe send them a peace email, reach out in a loving way or silently release them in your heart. But you must let go of the anger, remember that you use to love them.... and love is a gift -- always choose to unwrap it.

"Love is a gift of one's inner most soul to another so both can be whole." -Buddhist quote.


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