04/03/2014 08:35 EDT | Updated 06/03/2014 05:59 EDT

Step One to Being Sexy? Get Over Yourself

Happy sexy blonde in bikini taking a self picture on a beautiful sunny beach

Do you believe that dreadful myth circulating for far too many years: people are born sexy? Think about it. We want to believe movie stars burst out of the womb with their overwhelming charisma. Or the sexy siren Victoria's Secret models never lower themselves to do ordinary mortal things like shaving their daddy-long-leg legs.

What we don't want to believe is our uber-sexy idols are regular people that made a decision -- granted, it was most likely an subconscious decision -- that they wanted to stand out in the crowd.

Sexy is as sexy does. You have it within you to be "that sexy person" who can walk into any room and stop everyone in their tracks. You are that person who unabashedly oozes sexuality.

Are you rolling your eyes?

You see, being sexy is easy. It's the getting over yourself that's the hard part. The more comfortable you feel in your own skin, the more you cannot help reek of sexy.

Instead of perusing this top 10 sexy list and quickly dismissing it, take a good hard look in the mirror. What else can you add into your life that would take your sexy up a notch?

  • Sexy people are fun to be around.
  • They laugh a lot and have tons of positive energy.
  • Sexy is your attitude, independence and confidence.
  • Sexy is completely accepting yourself, warts and all. Confidence is derived from being fully self-expressed and not worrying about society's narrow definition of what is acceptable behaviour.

Sexy is taking 10 minutes every single hour to "fuss" over you.

How much a woman consciously invests daily in herself shows how much she values herself.

Sexy is (believe it or not) good posture.

Even if you don't feel confident, fake it 'til you make it. Shoulders back, and walk with a bit of a strut.

Sexy isn't having the perfect body

It is being comfortable with what you've been given and putting it out there for everyone to see. Yet over 80 per cent of women have issues with their body. Women tend to stand in front of the mirror and zoom in on all their wobbly bits -- that is, if they even have the energy to look at their "deformed body." Guess what? Reminding yourself a minimum 365 times a year that your body is ugly isn't going to help you feel good about yourself.

Sexy is the environment you create for you and your partner.

It is bringing out your five senses: touch, taste, smell, hearing, seeing. Think back to a first date when you spent an immense amount of time preparing your environment -- candles, clean sheets and soft music. Now think about six months to a year later -- why did you stop creating a special sexy space?

Sexy is being body-aware.

Women are natural multi-taskers who tend to numb themselves from the neck down and live inside their heads. Make an effort to have daily five-second "being present" breaks. Start tasting the food you eat, being aware while in the shower, feeling the keyboard as you type.

Sexy is being outrageous, being in the moment and letting loose.

What was the last completely outrageous thing you did? Can you remember how sexy you felt in that moment? Why not do it again?

Sexy is not taking yourself so seriously.

Sexy is not trying too hard to impress. Super high-strung, wound-like-a-top people are not sexy because they spend the majority of their day being uptight.

Sexy is being an outrageous flirt.

Flirting is simply the art of making the other person feel beautiful. When you help other people feel good about themselves, they are of course going to give that wonderful energy back to you. Flirting with your partner and others is a win/win proposition.

Remember to take time out of your busy day to acknowledge, appreciate and love that sexy part of you.


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