How To Stop Thinking About Your Ex: Using Technology To Forget

The Huffington Post Canada  |  Posted: 05/09/2012 2:02 pm

Online Dating
Technology has made breakups more painful, as social networks can keep exes constantly connected whether they like it or not, according to YourTango’s Elisabeth LaMotte, therapist and social worker. (Alamy)

Getting your ex out of your head becomes much harder if they're still in your space -- namely, if they're on your Facebook, phone contact list and Twitter.

Technology has made breakups more painful, as social networks can keep exes constantly connected whether they like it or not, according to YourTango’s Elisabeth LaMotte, therapist and social worker.

“It’s just way to easy these days to spend too much time and too much emotion and energy looking at photographs of your ex on Facebook or reading their tweets, checking to see if they’re on Gchat,” she says.

Half of women and 40 per cent of men say they look at their ex's Facebook page or online profile too much, according to YourTango.

So make your breakup easier on yourself and stop thinking about your ex with these tech tips:

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  • WRITE AN ANGRY EMAIL -- BUT DON'T SEND IT

    Just like jilted lovers did in the good old days, pour your anger, sadness and frustrations into a letter. Except nobody writes letters anymore, so do it in an email. But (obviously) don't send it. You can also use a electronic notepad; <a href="http://www.geeksugar.com/How-Deal-Breakup-Online-11823374" target="_hplink">Kristen Hawley of Popsugar</a> recommends Apple's Stickies.

  • ETERNAL SUNSHINE

    Chrome's <a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/feekljflolojpmfccnopoppafimmmlbg" target="_hplink">Eternal Sunshine extension</a> won't literally erase your ex from your mind (if only), but it will hide friends more effectively than Facebook's 'hide' option. Or you can unfriend your ex if you're totally ready to delete this person from your digital life.

  • MAKE A LIST

    Knock your ex off their pedestal and list all the reasons why you're better of without them on your phone, LaMotte suggests. <BR></BR> "I've yet to find somebody that cannot come up with at least two, maybe more, reasons that you are better off without that other person."

  • RESIST TEMPTATION TO TEXT

    With the push of a button, you could tell your ex how much you miss them, how you made a mistake and how you could meet up to drop off all the stuff they left behind. <br></br> Stop right there! Just accept the relationship has ended, LaMotte says. <br></br> "If your ex still has things in your apartment, don't text them and ask them when they're going to come get it. Just put everything in a garbage bag and leave it in their lobby or leave it on their porch, and call it a day," she advises.

  • ONLINE DATING

    Nothing helps you get over someone like getting... online. <br></br> Creating an online dating profile when you're ready to get back out there can help you re-evaluate what realistic qualities you need in a partner. For tips on making your online dating profile attract the kind of person you want, check out <a href="http://www.match.com/magazine/article/12106/Make-Your-Dating-Profile-Pop/" target="_hplink">Match.com</a>.

  • GET HELP

    Instead of cruising your ex's Twitter feed, consider finding a therapist online. Just make sure you do your homework; check out your source's credentials, speak to them over email or Skype and make sure you trust them, <a href="http://www.bpscounseling.com/2012/01/22/how-to-find-a-therapist-for-online-counseling-or-in-office-therapy/" target="_hplink">BPS counseling suggests</a>.

  • UNPLUG

    When your cyberstalking goes to extremes, shut down your laptop and switch off your phone. Get outside! Take up rock climbing, or clog dancing, or take a trip. Whatever it takes to keep your mind off your ex.

Write An Angry E-mail -- But Don't Send It
Just like jilted lovers did in the good old days, pour your anger, sadness and frustrations into a letter. Except nobody writes letters anymore, so do it in an email. But (obviously) don't send it. You can also use a electronic notepad; Kristen Hawley of Popsugar recommends Apple's Stickies.

Eternal Sunshine
Chrome's Eternal Sunshine extension won't literally erase your ex from your mind (if only), but it will hide friends more effectively than Facebook's 'hide' option. Or you can unfriend your ex if you're totally ready to delete this person from your digital life.

Make A List
Knock your ex off their pedestal and list all the reasons why you're better of without them on your phone, LaMotte suggests.



"I've yet to find somebody that cannot come up with at least two, maybe more, reasons that you are better off without that other person."

Resist Temptation To Text
With the push of a button, you could tell your ex how much you miss them, how you made a mistake and how you could meet up to drop off all the stuff they left behind.



Stop right there! Just accept the relationship has ended, LaMotte says.



"If your ex still has things in your apartment, don't text them and ask them when they're going to come get it. Just put everything in a garbage bag and leave it in their lobby or leave it on their porch, and call it a day," she advises.

Online Dating
Nothing helps you get over someone like getting... online.



Creating an online dating profile when you're ready to get back out there can help you re-evaluate what realistic qualities you need in a partner. For tips on making your online dating profile attract the kind of person you want, check out Match.com.

Get Help
Instead of cruising your ex's Twitter feed, consider finding a therapist online. Just make sure you do your homework; check out your source's credentials, speak to them over email or Skype and make sure you trust them, BPS counseling suggests.

Unplug
When your cyberstalking goes to extremes, shut down your laptop and switch off your phone. Get outside! Take up rock climbing, or clog dancing, or take a trip. Whatever it takes to keep your mind off your ex.

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