These days it's not enough for musicians to simply make music.
If you're Jay-Z you buy an ownership stake in a basketball team, if you're Sleater-Kinney's Carrie Brownstein you make a television show like Portlandia, but if you're a rocker just looking to be shown the money there's one way to go -- advertising.
In honor of these wallet-first thinkers, we've rounded up the weirdest appearances of musicians in commercials. Surprisingly, insurance hawking is big, while cars and food products are even bigger.
Admittedly, only a few of ads hold a candle to Snoop Dogg and his recent commercial for pistachios. However, their premises are still kind of... nuts.
Click to launch the gallery below:
What: Suzuki Love Scooter Before the '90s, it made sense for MJ to hawk anything love-oriented — especially if viewers could live vicariously through a dancing partner in a sequined dress. Call it "Bad" all you want, we call it badass.
What: Taco Bell How MC Hammer still went broke after commercials like these, no one can know. But we do know that in terms of dramatic acting while wearing parachute pants, no other artist could touch this.
What: Swiftcover Insurance No, seriously. What? With great power comes great responsibility, so maybe that's why Iggy Pop joined forces with a puppet to give not one, but two faces to Swiftcover Insurance. (Rampant shirtless-ness not covered.)
What: Anthony Gray Tax Service Hate it or love it, the underdog's on top — provided the underdog is Anthony Gray Tax Service. Filmed during a basketball practice, we wonder which friend from the past had enough dirt on The Game to secure an endorsement. Or why they're hanging out in a high school gym to begin with.
What: Country Life Butter Nothing's more punk rock than a reputable dairy product, so that explains John Lydon's infatuation with butter. If this is what anarchy in the U.K. looks like, sign us up.
What: Vitamin Water No, seriously. What? You may have forgotten that 50 Cent once tried acting, but thanks to this Vitamin Water spot, you can remember. So while the joy on his face makes up for the excessive product description, you can't help but think that he's still trying make up for dubbing Ludwig Von Beethoven as an original gangster.
What: Mitsubishi IT'S HIS LIFE. Which is why he signed on to rep Mistubishi for a Japanese campaign, we guess. And can you blame him? Walking down the street smiling, laughing seniors, people in cars having fun — these are all things he hoped his song would bring. (And it did! Only just to this commercial.)
What: Crystal Sake We don't know. We don't know, and it scares us, and now we will never be able to forget. All we know is that it's Japanese, it's for a brand called Crystal, and David Bowie is serious. Also, that these images will haunt us past death.
What: Rice Krispies Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so clearly the Rolling Stones had to one-up The Beatles in terms of hawking kid-friendly cereals. Somewhere, Ruby Tuesday hangs her head in shame.
Ringo Starr for Pizza Hut (with The Monkees)
What: Pizza Hut It's not music or butter that unites the British; it's the American delicacy of stuffed crust pizza. And so after Americans Mickey and Peter hooked Ringo and Davy onto double the calories — albeit double the taste — a collaboration ensued that only Pizza Hut could handle. (That, or these rockers needed the money.)
What: Mother's Pride Bread Arguably, this list could also be titled, "Breakfast! What British singers really like." But since Mother's Pride needn't be reserved for toast, we'll give Dusty Springfield a nod for choosing to rep a multi-purpose, accessible product, that some of us eat out of the bag for lunch.
What: Q Whiskey For reasons no one can possibly know, possessed, evil dolls were used — along with shrunken versions of Duran Duran — to sell whiskey in Japan. However, what we DO know is that you will now always remember where you were when you saw these images, and why you will never find yourself alone with dolls again.
What: Maxell Tapes The power of sound may have blown his hair back, but not even Maxell could put a dent in the bone structure of the Bauhaus frontman. Classic, thy name is Maxell.
What: World Of Warcraft Ozzy Osbourne was so convinced that he was the original Prince of Darkness that he forgot about villains in <em>World Of Warcraft</em>. Here's hoping someone told him that he was trying to compete with a fictional two-dimensional character, and that the same person told Ozzy he was only playing a video game. (BOOM.)
What: Honda When a problem comes along, you must lend your name to Honda Scooters. And while there's no word on why "whip it" could not be incorporated, you've got to hand it to the guys for at least staying in character and wearing those jumpsuits.