They make great pets and excellent teenage-mutant crime fighters but not the best seat mates.
That's the lesson one passenger found out after trying to smuggle his pet turtle pass security at Guangzhou Baiyun International Airport in Guangzhou, China earlier this week.
The passenger, only identified as Mr. Li by the South Morning China Post, was making his way to China Southern Airlines flight 345 to Beijing on Monday when he was caught with his pet sandwiched between a KFC burger inside his bag. As Li's bag passed through the airport's x-ray machines, scans revealed "unusual protrusions" poking out from Li's meal, notes the Australian.
That's when airport staff started grilling Li about his turtle burger.
"Sir, are you sure there are no turtles in your bag?" one airport staff member asked according to a translated report in the Daily Telegraph.
"There's no turtle in there – just a hamburger," said Li who was travelling to Beijing. "There's nothing special to see inside."
The turtle was eventually returned to Li who allowed a friend to take care of the reptile while he was away. He said he only wanted to travel together with his "beloved turtle", according to the South China Morning Post.
The rules behind flying with pets vary between airlines but most allow pets like birds, dogs and cats to be checked in as carry-on or checked baggage. WestJet for example, allow smaller critters like hedgehogs, guinea pigs and chinchillas to travel but only as checked luggage. The airline's policy doesn't explicitly mention turtles.
So remember: the next time you're thinking of flying, turtles can travel through time but not in the air.
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Do you think life is a game? It's time to stop eating that strawberry and get a job.
Oh, sure, it's all fun and games until someone with giant fingers leaves you for a younger, hotter tiny turtle.
What could you possibly accomplish with your life? You're smaller than a banana.
Go ahead, just keep eating mashed potatoes like no one's dying of hunger.
You think it's cute to showcase your vulnerability like this? You're a fool.
One morning you're going to wake up and that finger isn't going to be there for you anymore.
Nobody cares about anything you have to say, baby sea turtle. They just want to talk themselves.
You may be adorable, but one day someone's going to mistake you for a rock, the way nature intended, and it's going to hurt, feeling that inconsequential
What are you doing with your life?
Oh, look at us, we're three tiny turtles all in a row. Well, NEWSFLASH: life is full of pain.
Whee! Being a turtle is so fun! But remember, when you try to go to sleep at night and it's dark and you're alone, you have to live with yourself.
Just flop around in the sand like no one was murdered today.
Oh that's really cute. Did you think of that on your own? No.
Not only does this penny show your scale, tiny guy, it's a reminder that you've never earned a penny a day in your life.
Swim little turtle, as if life has meaning.
Sure, someone's holding you now, but can you trust this person? How well do you really know this hand?
Sure, this woman is feeding you a flower, but she doesn't take you seriously. You're just one big joke to everyone who knows you.
What are you doing? Do you even know?
Honestly, you were better off on your own. This giant hand doesn't love you in a pure way. It wants something in return.
Maybe you've got a little buddy there to help you eat a strawberry three times the size of your body, but we all die alone.
Welcome to the world, newborn turtle. Love is a lie made up to sell you worthless products.
That's right, just go back inside your shell because no one out here will ever truly understand you.
So you think you can just cruise through life relying on handouts?
Wipe that smug smile off your face. Do you not read the news?