When police arrested a woman on the streets of Hamilton, Ontario over the weekend, her shrieks drew a crowd.
And that crowd drew their cameras.
Then again, screams of "He's choking me," from a petite blonde woman with a couple of burly police officers bent over her will usually get a passerby's attention.
But if onlookers were expecting something to be outraged about, they would leave disappointed.
The officers involved are being hailed across the Inter-verse as shining examples of professionalism.
@HamiltonPolice Professionalism in it's highest form. You have an outstanding public servant working for you.
— Thomas Coiner (@TheCoiner) December 12, 2013
The video, which has already been watched 133,000 times since it was posted Wednesday, shows a woman who would prefer not to be arrested.
According to Hamilton Police Services, front-line officers work about 45,000 patrol shifts per year, covering some 80,000 calls and a whopping 300,000 incidents.
Sunday's arrest of a woman, allegedly for theft, was just one of them.
In the video, officers seem hard-pressed trying to get handcuffs on the woman.
"Put your hands behind your back," the male officer intones. Over and over again.
Cue the crowd.
"What's going on?" asks the man behind a cell phone video.
"She's being placed under arrest," the officer manages to explain, still grappling with the woman.
"She's only a weak girl," the cameraman returns. "You can't do that. There's no way you can do that."
The suspect carries the soundtrack with various shrieks, owwws and at least one, "You broke my..."
That last bit is inaudible, but it must have been real bad, eliciting an "Oh my God!" from a woman watching.
"She's on the ground," someone declares. "That's disgusting!"
The officers are undaunted, finally cuffing the suspect and telling her she is under arrest for theft.
For the bystanders, at least, it's not over.
"Wait, wait!" the cameraman says. "All I want to know is one thing. You tackled her for what reason?"
"She started resisting arrest," the female cop replies.
More bystanders arrive and one tries to sustain the mood with an "isn't this terrible?"
And then the telltale words: "I got this on video."
The suspect appears to know it, screaming, "I hope everybody sees this!"
"Okay," a clearly exhausted officer says, after finally tucking the woman into the back of the police cruiser. "For all the nice people filming. All right... give me a moment to get my wind."
The gist of his speech? The woman broke the law. Officers were trying to arrest her.
But the officer's explanation is frequently interrupted.
The camera man wonders if they could talk about it inside. The officer declines.
"Well, I'm cold," the man replies, like an enormous infant.
"Our domestic policy is very specific, sir," the cop continues, still trying to catch his breath. "It does not make allowances to just let people go when they have broken the law."
"Unfortunately, she decided to try and resist while I was placing her under arrest."
What may be even more refreshingly unexpected than the officers' impromptu press conference is the stream of apologies the male officer issues -- seemingly the most polite cop who has ever taken down a suspect.
And despite being clearly exhausted, constantly interrupted and seriously prejudged, he lingers to explain the situation. Constantly interrupted.
"It may look to be something much worse than it is, but I can tell you it is only because she is resisting so violently and flailing around on the ground.
"I'm doing my best, ma'am, not to hurt that girl," he continues. "Our mandate is to effect arrests doing the minimum amount of damage to people. And that's what I tried to do.
"While it may appear very rough to you -- I apologize you had to see that -- I have the lawful authority to arrest her. I am obligated to arrest her. I can't tell you why -- and I'm really sorry about hat -- but she deserves some privacy too, as do the victims of her crimes. So, I apologize ma'am."
Apologies, apparently, not accepted.
"You know she's a girl, right?" the camera man asks.
"It's all excuses and lies," a woman concludes.
And at last, the officer ends the impromptu press conference -- with tired resignation.
"I'm used to being made out to be the bad guy by nice folks who are getting a fraction of the picture."