Happiness is something we all try to attain, but when it comes to finding happiness in relationships, it's not rocket science: people just want to be loved.
"People feel the most happy when they feel the safest and experience feeling loved. When we feel safe and loved, we feel seen, emotionally understood and valued for who we are," says Jeanne Segal, author of Feeling Loved: Finding Happiness in an Overstressed World.
In relationships, we look for people who will generally make us happier, but we all know stress, money and other day-to-day problems causes unhappiness as well. Segal says the most important factor of being happier as a couple is understanding what makes the other person unhappy to begin with.
Surveys have shown money tends to be what couples argue about the most, but Segal says people also rely on money (through gifts) to make the other person happier.
"Money helps you avoid unhappiness, but it does not buy the feeling of safety and the experience of feeling loved that we need to be happy," she says.
The phrase "happy wife, happy life," is also quite common, but one recent study shows a happy marriage also depends on the happiness of the husband. Segal adds that a truly happy relationship is the result of both people being equally happy.
Since Thursday is International Day of Happiness, here are Segal's 10 tips on how to become happier with the person you love:
They Know How To Communicate
Couples who are happy generally pay attention to how their partner feels emotionally on a regular basis. Discussing your feelings openly will help you understand you partner's needs/wants.
They Know How To Take A Break From Each Other
If you and your partner experience a lot of stress in your relationship due to money, family or other reasons, make sure you take some time for yourselves. Couples who are happy pay attention to stress levels and interact with friends and family when they need to.
They Meditate Together
Happy couples also know how to remain calm and focused throughout the day by practicing meditation together. Practicing breathing techniques will come in handy if you tend to argue a lot.
They Understand Body Language
Couples who are happy are more likely to pick up body language. They pay attention to nonverbal cues like facial expressions and voice tones to indicate something is wrong.
They Talk About Problems Face-To-Face
Problem solving over the phone or through text messaging never works. Couples who are happy find time to talk out their problems face-to-face.
They Stay Healthy Together
They get a sufficient amount of sleep, exercising together when they can and eating wholesome nutritious foods. If you're looking for ways to stay healthy together, enroll in a gym class together or spend one to two days a week cooking healthy meals.
They Don't Put A Lot Of Energy Into Screen Time
Laying in bed with your phones and tablets? This situation shouldn't happen on a daily basis. Happy couples know how to limit their screen time and when they are together, they often take a digital break.
They Don't Depend On Unnecessary Meds
Couples who are happier generally don't depend on medications to make them feel better when they're stressed. For example, Instead of always grabbing an Advil for their headaches, they're more likely to meditate or exercise to reduce stress.
They Don't Clutter Their Minds
People who are happy don't spend a lot of times talking negatively about themselves or their partners in their heads. Keeping negative feelings bottled up won't make your relationship any happier.
They Have Sex As Much As They Can
Happy couples hit the sheets at least once a week, according to Women's Health. The magazine adds it's not so much the sex itself that will make you happier, but the fact you're doing it on a regular basis with someone you truly care for.