Visitors from America, we're looking at you now. And we're not amused. OK, we are, but we're also mad.
Because these are some seriously stupid questions.
We asked readers to tell us the most ridiculous things they've been asked by tourists visiting Canada. This is what they told us.
"I have a friend in Toronto, do you know Dave Smith? P.S. I live in Vancouver."
- Joe Foley
"Can I buy a toonie from you for $10 American? Yes. Yes you can."
- Dawn Brown
"When I recommended the War Museum, an American tourist said, 'Canada was in a war?'"
- Carol Bode
"I've actually seen American tourists coming across the border in the summer with skis on the roof of their cars.
Apparently there's some magical line where winter never ends up here."
- Mark Morissette
"Why, when I insert my American bank card in an ATM machine, does it give me Canadian money?"
- Susan Miller
"Do you have the 4th of July up here?"
- Jennifer Brewer
"What time do they turn on the Northern Lights (asked when I worked in Toronto in the tourism sector)."
- Janath Corso Vesna
"When waitering in Vancouver many times I was asked if the menu was in American dollars.
As well, when signing the credit card slip for payment I was asked:
'Will the tip be in US or Canadian dollars?'
Replied 'It's a Canadian pen.'"
- Mad Skillz
"Where can I buy some totem pole seeds?"
- Adam Greene
"Where are the igloos?"
- Mindy Amirault-Schrader
"While working in Niagara Falls: 'Where can I exchange Canadian dollars into Niagara Falls currency?'"
- Sabrina Rashid
"At Niagara Falls: 'When do they shut the water off? We don't want to miss seeing them.'"
- Juliette Dekkers-Ross
"'How did they get Lake Louise to turn blue?'
"You're Canadian? How come you aren't speaking French?"
- Donna Martin
"Do you speak Canadian here?"
- Claudia Vargas Thompson
"In Hamilton and they wanted to know if they could squeeze in a day trip to check out Toronto and Vancouver!"
- Jay Higgins
"Tourist: 'We're going to Nova Scotia for lunch.'
Me: (Looks at watch that reads 11:45 am) 'Oh when are you planning to leave?'
Tourist: 'So how do we get there from here?'
Me: 'Simple, take the 401 until it merges with the Trans Canada highway and then follow that right the way though.'
Tourist: 'Great, how long do you think it will take?'
Me: 'Depends on traffic but, if you're lucky, about a week.'
Tourists: (Blank look on faces as they drive off)."
- Nyx Cole
"I was in Vancouver and a tourist stopped me and asked me if they could walk to Niagara Falls from Vancouver.
Yeah we are only the second largest country on earth (next to Russia). Seriously?"
- Steven Cedrone
"Where can I go to see the Queen?"
- Anthony Aleksic
"Do I need a metric compass when I go hiking?"
- Jef-something Brian Thomas Ormston
"If the sign says it's 100 km, how far is it really?"
- Kathy Horning
"Many years ago when I was working for Parks Canada at the War of 1812 Blockhouse in St. Andrews by-the-Sea in New Brunswick I was asked by an American Tourist what was the name of the flag we had flying on our flagpost.
I replied that it was the Union Jack, the British flag.
At this point she excitedly turned to her husband and said 'Oh my God, we aren't in New Brunswick, we are in British Columbia!'"
- Erin McKenna
"In Banff National Park 'Where IS THE PARK!!!!???'"
- Yvette Hockenhull
"'So, how do you guys keep your teeth? I've heard the cold snaps them off.'
Seriously. I was asked this!"
- Wendy Noble
"In Nova Scotia: 'Where do you all live in winter?'"
- SherylnShawn Dauphney
"I was once asked 'If the snow melts, do you have to get around by canoe?'"
- Joelle Fairley-Woodman
"Texas is bigger than Canada, right?"
- Kat Dors
"What river for the smoked salmon run?"
- Chris X Cross
"From an American: 'Do they show the Super Bowl in Canada?'"
- Colleen MacDonald
"A U.S. citizen asked if they could see an example of our money 'tokens'? When I told them we call them coins, just like in the U.S., they swore up and down that we called them tokens."
- Anne Martin
"How come you don't you say 'eh after every sentence?"
- Danny Bellamore
"'Do y'all have pizza in Canada? (Tourist from Virginia Beach)."
- Gena Klaarwater
"I was a tour guide at 18. One older American gentleman got quite irate at me, 'Why did you people attack us in the war of 1812?' he grouched. Nice."
- Leigh Redstone
Back in the '80s, when I worked at the CN Tower waitressing, I approached my table of American tourists to take their order.
One of them asked me as they looked out the window at Lake Ontario:
"Is that the Pacific Ocean?"
- Suzanne Sagar
"'How do you guys keep the glaciers white during the summer? Do you have to paint them?'
Of course, I would always answer yes to this common yet amazing question.
Job creation I'd say, keeps us all working during the summer."
- Jenn Brigger
Got a crazy question of your own? Email them to The Huffington Post Canada.
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Related on HuffPost:
We Speak English And French, Not Canadian
But We Don't All Speak French
We Didn't Make Celine Dion, Nickelback And Justin Bieber Famous. You Did
We Don't Know Your Cousin Mike From Vancouver
British Columbia Is Not In Britain. Or South America. (Google it)
We Know More About America Than You Do About Canada
Sofa, Not Couch
Pop, Not Soda
Bathroom, Not Washroom
We Don't All Know How To Ski/Skate/Dogsled
It's Pronounced 'ZED'
Not All Of Us Like Hockey
We Don't All Want To Move To America
Our Mayors, For The Most Part, Don't (Allegedly) Smoke Crack
We're Sick Of Emailing Fox News About This, So For The Last Bloody Time, The 9/11 Bombers Did NOT Cross Over From Canada!
Next: The Most Canadian Words
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> A toonie is a $2 Canadian coin, which followed the cue of the loonie (named after the image of the aquatic bird that graces the $1 coin). <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "Hey buddy, can I borrow a toonie? I need to get a Double Double (see the next slide)."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> A Double Double refers to a coffee (often from Tim Hortons) with two creams and two sugars. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "Yes, hi, I'd like to order a Double Double."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> When food, however unappealing it is, is all you <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/05/10/newfoundland-tourism-video-gutfoundered_n_3254578.html" target="_blank">crave at the end of the day. Or, you're just very hungry.</a> <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> “Your mind wanders when it’s gut-foundered. Is it going to be take-out? Is it going to be pizza?”
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong>Shit-Kickers are nicknames for cowboy boots. Hee Haw! <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "I can't go to the Calgary Stampede without my shit-kickers."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> Something that is in a diagonal direction from something else. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "The grocery store is kitty-corner to the school."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> A warm wind that blows east over the Canadian Rockies, warming up Calgary in the winter. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "This chinook is giving me a headache."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> A slang term for cigarettes <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "Get your darts out."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> Stagette is another name for bachelorette party. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "Are you heading out to that stagette this weekend? There's going to be a stripper."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> Cowtown is a nickname for Calgary. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "I've been living in Cowtown my entire life."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> Another name for underwear used mainly in Saskatchewan and Manitoba and often referring to men's or boys' briefs. A gotch refers to women's underwear. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "Pull your pants up, I can see your gitch."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> According to the Dictionary of Newfoundland, a bedlamer is a <a href="http://www.heritage.nf.ca/dictionary/azindex/pages/291.html" target="_blank">seal that is not yet mature.</a> <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "This harp seal is giving me a hard time, it's such a bedlamer."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> A toque is a hat most people wear during winter months. And sometimes, you will see this hat reappear in the summer. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "Listen son, don't go out into this weather without your toque."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> No, no one is getting married. In Western Canada, a matrimonial cake is another term for a date square or tart. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "I wish this coffee shop had matrimonial cakes."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> Someone who loves spending time on an ice rink. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "I can't get any ice time, I have to deal with all these rink rats."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> Slang for homogenized whole milk, but shockingly, this term is actually used on milk packaging. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "When you go to the grocery store, don't forget to pick up the homo milk."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> Common slang for a case of 24 beers. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "Are you heading to the beer store? Pick me up a 2-4 of Molson."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> The Canadian way of saying coloured pencil. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "Do you have a pencil crayon in that pencil case?"
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> Another word for soda. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "That can of pop has 200 calories."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> Another word for bathroom or restroom. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "This washroom doesn't have any toilet paper."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> Slang for "what are you doing" in Newfoundland. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "Did you just get in? Whaddya at?"
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> For the most part, a mickey is a flask-sized (or 375 ml) bottle of hard liqueur, but on the East Coast, a mickey is an airplane-sized bottle. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "We're going out tonight, can someone grab a mickey."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> Not a slang term, but this is how Canadians pronounce the letter "Z". Not zee.
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> A hockey (surprise, surprise) technique when a player gets past their opponent by "faking it." It can also be used to replace the world detour. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "I am going to deke into the store after work."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> Hydro refers to electricity, particularly on your energy bill. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "My hydro bill went up $10 this month."
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS:</strong> A mountie is a nickname for a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. <strong>IN A SENTENCE:</strong> "Stop speeding, a mountie will catch you."
NEXT: 50 Of the Best Canadian Foods
Poutine — French fries generously slathered in gravy and cheese curds — is a classic Canadian treat that is said to have originated in Quebec in the 1950s. Since then, it has been adapted in many weird and wonderful ways from <a href="http://crownsalts.com/gardemanger/" target="_blank">gourmet versions with lobster</a> and <a href="http://www.restaurantaupieddecochon.ca/menu.html" target="_blank">foie gras</a> to —believe it or not — a doughnut version. It's also inspired <a href="http://smokespoutinerie.com/" target="_blank">a crop of trendy "poutineries"</a> and a <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/03/14/doughnut-poutine-psycho-donuts_n_2875921.html" target="_blank">"poutition"</a> to make it Canada's official national dish.
There are some snacks that define a nation, but not many that taste good to only those who live there. What do we love? The fact they leave our fingers dyed red after we've had a whole bag. Ketchup has never tasted so salty, non-tomatoey and outright good. Our U.S. friends may go nutty over Doritos, but we love our ketchup chips. Did you know that <a href="http://www.thestar.com/business/2013/02/28/heres_why_you_cant_buy_chicken_and_waffle_chips_in_canada.html" target="_hplink"> Lay's dill pickle and Munchies snack mix are also exclusively Canadian?</a>
What could be more Canadian than syrup that comes from the maple tree, whose iconic leaf has come to symbolize Canada and its national pride? Quebec is the largest producer of maple syrup in the world, accounting for about 75 to 80 percent of the supply. Maple syrup — <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1372549/Maple-syrup-joins-ranks-broccoli-blueberries-new-stop-shop-superfood.html" target="_blank">recently elevated to "superfood" status</a> — is a classic sweet topping on pancakes and waffles. Still, that hasn't stopped some people from thinking of surprising savoury pairings such as <a href="http://www.toromagazine.com/lifestyle/food/toro-tv/c3df4a2e-74ba-c154-9172-99d497567a76/Caplanskys-Maple-Bacon-Donuts/" target="_blank">maple-bacon doughnuts</a>.
It's no secret that Canadians are <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/03/15/tim-hortons-new-bacon-taste-test_n_2884834.html" target="_blank">obsessed with bacon</a>. The delicious cured pork product can be made oh so many ways, including ever popular strip bacon and peameal bacon, often referred to as "Canadian bacon" abroad. In fact, Canadians are so passionate about their favourite food that <a href="http://bacontoday.com/the-people-of-canada-choose-bacon-over-sex/" target="_blank">many would probably choose it over sex.</a>
A butter tart is a classic Canadian dessert made with butter, sugar, syrup and eggs — filled in a buttery (yes, more grease) pastry shell, and often includes either raisins or nuts. They can be runny or firm — so it's hard to mess them up when you're baking. <a href="http://www.canadianliving.com/food/baking_and_desserts/best_butter_tarts.php" target="_blank">Also, they never seem to go out of style.</a>
BeaverTails, or <em>Queues de Castor</em> in French, is a famous trademarked treat made by a <a href="http://www.beavertailsinc.com/" target="_blank">Canadian-based chain of pastry stands</a>. The fried-dough treats are shaped to resemble real beaver tails and are often topped with chocolate, candy, and fruit. These Canadian delicacies go hand in hand with skiing, and even <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/01/17/beavertail-at-inauguration_n_2495957.html" target="_blank">gained White House recognition during U.S. President Barack Obama's 2009 trip to Ottawa.</a>
These legendary Canadian no-bake treats originated in (surprise!) <a href="http://www.nanaimo.ca/EN/main/visitors/NanaimoBars.html" target="_blank">Nanaimo, B.C.,</a> and are typically made with graham-cracker crumbs, coconut, walnuts, vanilla custard and chocolate. Need we say more? Common variations include peanut butter and mint chocolate.
No one likes to think of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer as dinner, but game meat is abundant in Canada and can be found in butchers, restaurants and homes across the country. Among other popular Canadian game is boar, bison, venison, caribou and rabbit.