It's Oscar night on Sunday.
And you know what that means!
That's right: lots of speeches and DRINKS! DRINKS! DRINKS!
Of course, you'll want to pace yourself throughout the night (last year's Academy Award ceremony ran over three hours), so we've devised a drinking game that will help you regulate how often you take a sip.
Alternately, it will help you become drunk faster.
1 DRINK: If a presenter says someone's name incorrectly.
(Adele Dazeem, anyone?)
2 DRINKS: If Jennifer Lawrence does anything to humiliate herself.
1 DRINK: If anyone references the Sony hack.
1 DRINK: Or North Korea.
4 DRINKS: If anyone mentions how few nominations there were for ethnic actors.
5 DRINKS: If anyone jokes that the awards ceremony is lasting longer than it took to make "Boyhood."
1 DRINK: If anyone mentions "The Lego Movie's" snub in the Best Animated Feature category.
(This includes anyone at your party.)
3 DRINKS: If anyone cries upon watching a "Boyhood" montage with Family of the Year's "Hero" playing in the background.
(This also includes anyone at your party.)
1 DRINK: Host Neil Patrick Harris makes any reference to Barney Stinson, his character on "How I Met Your Mother."
2 DRINKS: Neil Patrick Harris makes any reference to his turn on "Doogie Howser, M.D."
1 DRINK: If J.K. Simmons manages to look anywhere as menacing as he did in "Whiplash."
3 DRINKS: If anyone extols the importance of privacy and information security in relation to Edward Snowden.
("Citizenfour," a film about him, is nominated for Best Documentary Feature.)
3 DRINKS: Any mention of "Batman" in relation to "Birdman."
4 DRINKS: A glimpse of Michael Keaton in tightie-whities.
1 DRINK: Any reference to "American Sniper's" fake baby.
3 DRINKS: Any jokes about this guy.
2 DRINKS: If anybody uses the word "Quirky" to describe "The Grand Budapest Hotel."
1 DRINK: A joke about Benedict Cumberbatch's name, or any attempt to make it into a hybrid.
2 DRINKS: Any mention of wrestling or wrestling tights, a la "Foxcatcher."
5 DRINKS: If Richard Linklater takes Best Director honours.
(He made "Dazed and Confused" and the "Before Sunrise" series. He's earned this.)
1 DRINK: When anyone thanks Harvey Weinstein/The Weinsteins.
(We kept this one low because literally every single person thanks these guys.)
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