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The Only Academy Awards Drinking Game You'll Ever Need

02/20/2015 03:48 EST | Updated 02/20/2015 03:59 EST

It's Oscar night on Sunday.

And you know what that means!

That's right: lots of speeches and DRINKS! DRINKS! DRINKS!

Of course, you'll want to pace yourself throughout the night (last year's Academy Award ceremony ran over three hours), so we've devised a drinking game that will help you regulate how often you take a sip.

Alternately, it will help you become drunk faster.

1 DRINK: If a presenter says someone's name incorrectly.

(Adele Dazeem, anyone?)

2 DRINKS: If Jennifer Lawrence does anything to humiliate herself.

1 DRINK: If anyone references the Sony hack.

1 DRINK: Or North Korea.

4 DRINKS: If anyone mentions how few nominations there were for ethnic actors.

5 DRINKS: If anyone jokes that the awards ceremony is lasting longer than it took to make "Boyhood."

1 DRINK: If anyone mentions "The Lego Movie's" snub in the Best Animated Feature category.

(This includes anyone at your party.)

3 DRINKS: If anyone cries upon watching a "Boyhood" montage with Family of the Year's "Hero" playing in the background.

(This also includes anyone at your party.)

1 DRINK: Host Neil Patrick Harris makes any reference to Barney Stinson, his character on "How I Met Your Mother."

2 DRINKS: Neil Patrick Harris makes any reference to his turn on "Doogie Howser, M.D."

1 DRINK: If J.K. Simmons manages to look anywhere as menacing as he did in "Whiplash."

3 DRINKS: If anyone extols the importance of privacy and information security in relation to Edward Snowden.

("Citizenfour," a film about him, is nominated for Best Documentary Feature.)

3 DRINKS: Any mention of "Batman" in relation to "Birdman."

4 DRINKS: A glimpse of Michael Keaton in tightie-whities.

1 DRINK: Any reference to "American Sniper's" fake baby.

3 DRINKS: Any jokes about this guy.

2 DRINKS: If anybody uses the word "Quirky" to describe "The Grand Budapest Hotel."

1 DRINK: A joke about Benedict Cumberbatch's name, or any attempt to make it into a hybrid.

2 DRINKS: Any mention of wrestling or wrestling tights, a la "Foxcatcher."

5 DRINKS: If Richard Linklater takes Best Director honours.

(He made "Dazed and Confused" and the "Before Sunrise" series. He's earned this.)

1 DRINK: When anyone thanks Harvey Weinstein/The Weinsteins.

(We kept this one low because literally every single person thanks these guys.)

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