STYLE

8 Style Lessons Cher Horowitz And Friends Taught Us In 'Clueless'

07/17/2015 12:16 EDT | Updated 07/17/2015 12:59 EDT

It’s been 20 years since most of us found out what an Alaia was, or since we began describing the people around us as full-on Monets. What I’m saying is "Clueless" has changed us. It’s changed our mindsets, our approach to music, our relationships with friends, Baldwins, and Bettys -- and above all, our wardrobes.

"Clueless" has taught us a thing or two.

So that’s how we’re going to pay homage to Amy Heckerling’s ‘95 sleeper hit. While the aesthetic is firmly rooted in the splendour of the mid-nineties, Cher’s genius is not. Here are the style lessons we’ve taken from the greatest movie of all time. (You’re welcome.)

  • 1. Embrace A Great Hat, Always
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    Spoiler alert: none of us will ever look as good as Dionne in hats, in plaid, or in most things. But we can try. And we can embrace her love of all things chapeau by attempting to love them just as much ourselves. Can we pull hats off? I can’t say for sure. But I know Dionne wouldn’t for a second worry about what I thought, or what you thought, and would just wear the thing.
  • 2. Dress Appropriately For Revelations
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    When Cher initially donned her sheer ruffled blouse atop a mini skirt and vest, her intentions were different than those during her a-ha moment. That morning, she was going to get her driver’s license. But unfortunately, due to a complete lack of skills, she failed her test and crossed the Messiah of the DMV, sending her into a pit of despair that led to a shopping spree and the realization that she was absolutely butt-crazy in love with Josh. Fortunately, her outfit went perfectly with the technicolour fountain that illuminated her narrative. So: always consider this. You never know when you’ll discover you are also in love with Josh. Ensure you always have a ruffled blouse in tow.
  • 3. Shopping Is Business: Dress The Part
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    We can pretend the mall and our participation in consumerism is something we don’t really think about, but doing that would make us liars, and liars have no place here. (Reading this, on the Internet.) Shopping is serious. It’s important. It’s work. (Especially when trying on jeans.) Therefore, we must make like Cher and dress the part. Think: Blazers, skirts, knee-socks, a Walkman -- serious things. The employees of every retail outlet will be both impressed and inspired to quote "Clueless" along with you. And the latter makes it all worth it, anyway.
  • 4. Keep Your Wardrobe Organized
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    And I mean it, people. Organized. Fold your tops and hang them up and remember that, a) you spent money on these things, so think about that every time you leave something lying on the floor, and b) the tidier the closet, the easier it is to tell yourself that you’re a resident of Beverly Hills, California, with a very cool lawyer dad. (And not typing this piece, sitting across the street from a McDonalds.)
  • 5. Autumn Calls For An Endless Supply Of Plaid
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    We learned this in elementary school. We learned this in middle school. For those of us who went to Catholic school (for two years -- hi!), we learned via kilts, too. But "Clueless" was still our aesthetic master, using reds and yellows and oranges and plaids to evoke the spirit of the autumnal season. We’re currently two months away -- so time to stock up.
  • 6. Never Lower Your Expectations
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    First, in life. Second, in clothing choices. Wear what you want, and anybody who objects can and should be pushed out of the metaphorical frame that is your life. You want to weigh in on my outfit? Get out of here. No. Ugh, as if.
  • 7. Makeovers Never End Well
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    I’m sorry, but it’s true. If you’ve ever been the subject of a makeover or if you’ve ever given a makeover or if you’ve ever watched a makeover show, you know that makeovers usually end in tears and a return to the original version of the person in question. In the case of "Clueless," Cher creates a monster when trying to makeover Tai, and it’s not until she embraces her own self does Tai become actually happy. No one wants the carbon copy of another person. Even if that other person is a Cher Horowitz.
  • 8. You Do You
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    I mean, if we can take one thing away from "Clueless," it’s this: to thine own self be true. "Clueless'" message isn’t about changing for other people, it’s about changing because you -- the person who is changing -- wants to change, and that’s all. Did all the characters evolve? Obviously, because "Clueless" is perfect. But ultimately they evolved out of their own wants, not because they were told to. (Minus Elton. For sure, he is a very miserable, sad man somewhere.)

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Clueless: Gems Of Wisdom