If you go to bed already thinking about the fresh breakfast you’ll be eating the next morning, then you know how devastated you are when you have to skip the meal for one reason or another. Things get can real intense, real fast. Everyone’s symptoms are different, but from us to you, we know how it is when you miss the most important meal of any day, ever.
1. At first you try to trick your stomach into thinking that glasses of water are an acceptable substitute for actual food.
(SPOILER ALERT: They are not.)
2. You start making amazing food combos in your head.
Bacon pancakes? That could work. Kale with feta cheese and scrambled eggs? Why not?
3. And then you fantasize about eating everything in the world.
4. And you may have briefly considered helping yourself to your deskmate’s breakfast wrap.
But you thought better of it. (Too many witnesses.)
5. Instead of checking emails, you’re straight up looking at pictures of waffles.
Pinterest knows best.
6. And for some reason, you’re having a hard time getting started on your projects.
Any minute now.
7. And you’re making an above-average amount of food-related references.
Pie charts? Chocolate bar graphs?
8. Your definition of productivity may start to shift.
9. At a certain point, you’re craving things on top of breakfast. Like chocolate.
Chocolate is technically part of the Dairy food group.
10. You feel like you could clear an entire buffet table by yourself…
11. …until you realize that you’re just stuck at work with no food in your stomach.
12. The sorrow you feel at not being able to snatch the last donut in the office kitchen is profound.
13. Your food fantasies are starting to get ambitious.
14. In fact, your food day dreams may have evolved into naps.
Another victim of sleepworking.
15. When you finally grab a late breakfast/early lunch/random snack, you will stuff your face until it cannot be stuffed anymore.
16. You will experience taste in a way you never thought possible.
17. And you don’t intend to share.
Go on, ask me for a bite. (The answer is no.)
18. All human decency flies out the window in the face of your delayed first meal of the day.
So why would you want to put your body through such awful things?
19. Yes, waking up half an hour early every morning might not be the greatest thing.
20. But when you have a great big day ahead of you…
So, like all things in life, it’s best to follow Pooh’s advice and start your day with a fresh breakfast, like the new More-ning McWrap® from McDonalds, so you can stop #sleepworking for good.