Here's a list of things women want when they're on their periods:
1. A hot water bottle
3. A romantic comedy
And here's a list of things women don't want when they're on their periods:
1. "Feminine Lipstick"
What the heck is that, you're asking? It's a nightmare alternative to pads and tampons created by Kansas chiropractor Daniel Dopps (yes, a man!) that literally — brace yourself — glues the labia closed when you're on your period.
— Mensez (@menseztech) January 23, 2017
The product, called Mensez (pronounced menses, not men-says, which is interesting), is made using a combination of amino acids and oils and is described as a "feminine lipstick," since it, well, comes in a lipstick applicator. Ugh.
In a now deleted Facebook post from Jan 28, Mensez wrote that the product was a "revolutionary safer solution for women to control their periods without the need for tampons, pads, vag cups (sic), or period panties."
Another post reads, "Mensez ends the period mind games, the blood stays secure inside where it should be and automatically washes away into the toilet every time you pee, you don't have to see it and you certainly don't have to touch it anymore. DONE, DONE, and DONE. Like a self-cleaning shower drain."
Cue the "WHAT??" reactions from women worldwide:
WTF?!? That dude is complete nutjob! 'feminine lipstick' glue is the most craziest thing what I have ever heard!!! 😱😠😨
— Devious Foxy (@herfieryspirit) February 22, 2017
@TeenVogue forget gluing labia he should offer his lipstick to men to glue their lips shut to stop the nonsense coming out of their mouths 😡
— Freda Health (@fredaspeaks) February 23, 2017
— Gil from the Bronx (@cubsgirl1825) February 21, 2017
Mansplaining, indeed. Because this happened next:
— Phoebe Tansley (@phoebetansley) February 20, 2017
"Yes, I am a man and you as a woman should have come up with a better solution than diapers and plugs, but you didn’t. Reason being women are focused on and distracted by your period 25% of the time, making them far less productive than they could be. Women tend to be far more creative than men, but their periods that [sic] stifle them and play with their heads."
Wow. Just wow.
"It makes more sense than putting the plug up there,” Dopps said. "We’re using the vagina like a bladder just like tampons do."
Sir, we hate to break it to you, but a tampon is not a "plug," it's a method of absorption. And while we're at it, you should know tampons don't function like bladders. And menstrual blood comes out of the vagina, not your urethra.
Do you even know the female anatomy?! As Teen Vogue beautifully put it, "Periods do not 'play games with' our heads, they are simply happening as we live our lives."
The product has not hit the market yet (thank goodness) and their Facebook page has been deleted (thank goodness, again).