In my line of work, I'm always on the lookout for what's hot and what's not, what's sexy and what's a turnoff. And when it comes to people or relationships, there is one word that I hear over and over and over again: Confidence. And guess what? Apparently it's pretty hot.
Confidence seems to be the one thing that most people find extremely attractive. But what is it about confidence that makes it so sexy? Why are we more likely to be drawn to someone who is confident than to someone who is insecure or needy?
Being the consummate professional, I decided to do some research. And like the thorough, investigative whiz I am, I did what most highly skilled, trained experts do. I tweeted and Googled. And while I received and found a number of responses, most of the information had to do with the various aspects of confidence people are drawn to and very little information as to why it's so hot.
One brilliant man from Norway who responded to my tweet, prompted me to look at how one gains confidence, and therein I'd find my answer. Hmmm. Very deep. Thank you, Eskil. So here's what I found...
It seems that confident people are noticeable. They stand out. They have a certain air about them that makes you want to get to know them. You want to know what makes them so self-assured. They're intriguing and we're beguiled.
They're typically comfortable in their own skin and well-adjusted. They have a sense of ease which is also quite appealing.
Confident people seem to know what they want and are not afraid to ask for it or go after it. Nor are they afraid to express themselves. Apparently this is quite a turn on in the bedroom. They say. Not me -- I'm staying out of this one.
You also won't find confident people trying to be something they're not. They tend not to play games. Unless of course they're back in the bedroom. Again, them. Not me.
Let's take a look at the alternative. People who lack confidence are generally insecure. They're often apprehensive and anxious. Many need constant reassurance and attention and take a great deal of energy. How attractive and sexy is that?
I think there's something primitive in being attracted to confident people. There must be some subconscious need in us as human beings to want to look out for the best potential mate for procreation. Somewhere deep down we're drawn to the person we believe to be the best child bearer or provider and the confident ones seem to be the ones who'd get the job done.
A bunch of hooey? Who knows. What I do know is that there's something that lurks deep within us that finds confidence extremely attractive an oh-so-sexy. Don't believe me? Just ask Eskil.
Follow Barbara Aleks Hecht on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BarbaraAleks