THE BLOG

Should You Confess Your Affair?

03/27/2015 01:15 EDT | Updated 05/27/2015 05:59 EDT
jupiterimages

Having an affair or cheating on a partner is one of the most common factors that destroys relationships these days. In fact, affairs have gone on for as long as people have been having sex with each other. Both men and women are guilty of this but it seems that men may have the edge on doing it more often. That may be because men view sex as just sex, and women view sex as something you do when you're in a committed relationship.

While both men and women are guilty of having affairs, women are usually more emotional than men so affairs are not that enticing to them except in cases where their partners are ignoring them and someone else has made them feel worthwhile and desirable. On the other hand, some women will actually use an affair as a catalyst to end a relationship they are no longer interested in having.

As affairs occur all the time, the question then is should you confess to an affair? There are a lot of variables in the answer to this question that don't make the answer so cut and dry. For example, if the person you've been having the affair with is someone you're in love with and cannot see spending your life without, then in my opinion you have no alternative except to confess the affair to your current partner. Chances are if you're in a relationship, and you're in love with someone else, then you've already made up your mind to leave anyway, so you may as well get it over with.

On the flip side, if the affair never really meant anything to you, it was just sex, or it was brief and is now over, it may not be necessary to confess your affair to you partner. This is especially true if you've realized how much you love your current partner, and that he or she is the one you'd rather be with.

If you decide to confess your indiscretion to your partner, your relationship may come to an end. Because your partner may feel betrayed, and no longer able to trust you. It's certainly something to think about before rushing to your partner, confessing all, and begging him or her for forgiveness.

If commitment isn't your thing, consider having an open relationship. Some couples have an open relationship, and while this doesn't necessarily work for everyone, it does work for many couples. In an open relationship couples can freely tell their partners about someone else that they've slept with. They may even share in the extracurricular activities between them and the other party as well. For some couples, this may actually be the extra exciting Fifty Shades of Grey each partner in the relationship may enjoy. Therefore confessing to an affair in this type of relationship may be a bonus.

One night stands are another entity entirely. These things usually are lust-filled mistakes and usually happen because of poor judgment or low self-esteem. If you had a one night stand, then confessing may not be the best idea. But only you know your partner and whether or not they will be able to deal with the truth. If you know that this is something that will never happen again, there may be no need to take a chance on losing a relationship that means a lot to you.

In the end, only your conscience can guide you in what's best, and whether you should confess or not. Just take into consideration all of the extenuating factors before making a decision to confess your affair. Remember, once you confess to an affair there is no going back, and your relationship will be changed forever.

ALSO ON HUFFPOST:

Cheating Confessions