David McCullough Jr. recently gave a widely reported and commented upon commencement speech for Wellesley High. Why the interest? Because McCullough told the students the cold, hard reality that "none of you is special."
While this might very well be true, who else is to blame for this belief besides McCullough? Unlike what those in their right-wing rocking chairs say, it's not some arbitrary trait of ours. In fact, it's a trait that's been nursed by those same parents and teachers who are so quick to accuse us of it. The baby boomers, with the best intentions, have made us into what we are today: a generation of spoiled individuals. Yes, I said it.
Since day one, we've been force-fed dreams: the "reach for the stars" mentality, the Disney "follow your heart," and "you are unique" theme of every children's movie we grew up with. Never before has there been a generation in which, if a student did poorly in school, the parents would blame the teacher, not the student. We are so quick to say our parents' generation is passing the buck onto us, but we are the generation that will be defined by our complete absolution of responsibility. How old were we when we were first entrusted to cross a street by ourselves? Or walk to school alone? Or make our own food? It was never the college student's fault that he failed a course, but rather that of the lack of online material, or the size of the lecture itself. It was never because of the pupil's lack of studying that he flunked a math test, but rather because of ADD, ADHD or some other alphabetism that has come to excuse all of our faults. Failure was the product of some external force that we could never possibly control. Even the most simple of childhood experiences -- such as bullying, or eating too much candy -- have been turned into national issues and debated over by politicians.
Unsurprisingly, all this has led us to become -- without a doubt -- the most vain generation since the invention of the looking glass. Add into this relatively recent influence of social media: For every important update from the Arab Spring, there are 10 people "sharing" what they just ate at the mall. For every announcement from the Occupy camp (give them this credit: they mastered a medium at the expense of a message), there are 20 people posting their innermost banalities: "I'm hungry!" "I love summer!" or "Shopping makes me so tired!"
This management of the online self -- the hours we spend picking that perfect profile picture, the status update we think twice about before sharing to make sure it's just funny enough for our friends -- used to be an exercise reserved for the publicists and agents of Hollywood celebrities. But now, it has come to infect the homes of almost 180 million users in North America. When one spends hours looking at oneself, and brings a camera to every single outing (cutting out the paparazzi middle man for middle America), we inevitably become more obsessed with ourselves; and vanity is the first stepping stone to entitlement.
So after being told we are all superstars -- after we have checked our Twitter feed one last time before leaving the house -- what do we do when we come face to face with an indifferent, cold economy that could not care less about our dreams, let alone about how many karma points we have on Reddit?
Yes, we are an entitled generation -- and we were brought up to be so. Before they begin insulting us, the baby boomers might examine their own culpability in leading and nurturing us to this ugly point of safety and false hope (and, might I add, the crappiest economy for young people in generations). They convinced us a country could support an entire population of actresses, and we believed it, and we still do.
So maybe it is time for my generation to grasp a lesson many of us did not learn growing up -- which is to take responsibility for our own lives and the world as we find it. Maybe it's time to stop yelling and occupying. Maybe it's time to become the solution -- rather than looking for where to place the blame for the problem. If we want to fix something, we have to start by admitting something is wrong with us in the first place, even if we can't say it in 140 characters or less.
Follow Daniel Alexandre Portoraro on Twitter: www.twitter.com/dportoraro
Its the job of every generation to question their parents views--every generation rebels in some way --- its how you grow up. The sixties rebellion and the rejection of the status quo seemed pretty harsh to their parents but there was change.
Today I see caring, intelligent, selfless behaviour from many young people, and I do not understand David McCullough Jr's anger. I see students in the "occupy movement", students protesting "tuition fee increases" and working against "globalism," and many individual selfless acts for people around them. The protesters do not need my agreement, but I am glad that they care enough to stand up and be counted, whether for large issues or the soup kitchens next door.
I suggest that Daniel Alexandre Portoraro and David McCullough Jr look past the circles they have been travelling in, and perhaps open their eyes to a much wider world. Stop wallowing in self pity, blaming others, and start celebrating some of the accomplishments of their peers. And those peers, whether in big ways or small ways are definitely special for caring enough to try. You are not your parents generation, you are different AND special.
What is really important is what you do about it in the next 30 years before the next generations of youth start with the recrimminations on your lack of foresight and change.
But Mr. Portoraro, you seem to take McCullough specifically to task "who else is to blame for this belief besides McCullough?" Do you know Mr. McCullough? How do you know he is not one of the many out here who are losing the daily battle against what you describe? Maybe he is the one getting shouted down at PTO and School Board meetings for even daring to suggest that dodge ball is a perfectly good gym class game, or that 12 year olds don't need participation medals?
There are many of us out here doing just that, but it's like skiing up a hill.
Nobody cares why you have the sense of entitlement your generation has, except your generation. And who is to blame in the first place is irrelevant. You are an adult, and the responsibility now is solely on you.
Keep in mind that some in your generation didn't completely buy into the whole "special" program. Your participation and "buy-in" was required.
I happen to think that the parents aren't doing this on purpose, but that they come from a time when they think that they "figured it all out" on thier own and expected us to do the same. At least this is what I hope, because the alternative is they were woefully ignorant of what it took to be parents and we were screwed from the get go.
I can tell you that I was always told from the time I was old enough to understand what work was, that I would have to work hard to get what I want and shouldn't expect to be handed anything. While in the opposite side I have known plenty of kids that were told that they were special and translated that to I can sit back and let it come to me. Guess where most of those kids are now? here's a hint, "would you like fries with that?"
Follow Daniel Alexandre Portoraro on Twitter: www.twitter.com/dportoraro
The main thing your generation is going to rue is the destruction of privacy and how you, yourselves were the willing tool Corporations used to do that.
Step out of line even a little bit and instantly they are suggesting it's ADD or some such.
My child got in trouble for climbing a tree on the playground, which was not allowed.
Did she get punished for doing something a normal kid would do but was nevertheless against the school's rules? No, we were told to get her tested for for ADD! After all, that could be the only answer for a child climbing a very inviting tree!
Talking to parents at the school it seemed like everyone other child had a ADD or similar diagnosis and were on some kind of drug ... all pushed by the schools because they want little automatons. There can be no differences between children ... they must be all the same.
I don't know that all this is boomer's fault ... that sounds like gross stereotyping to me. But we have failed our children when we put so many on drugs from young ages.
But I have ADHD and it remained undiagnosed until my 30s. I felt like I worked harder than any of my peers but my marks would be only about in the top 25-30%. Sure they were passing grades, but I remember the frustration of not being able to absorb all the teachers were saying.. Form words unti meaning... Trying desperately to keep up.
I can tell you that ADHD is quite real. But I also agree that it's usually the diagnosis for "undisciplined brat," too
Within a short period of time (10 years maybe, 20 at the most) machines, including robots, will be doing nearly all work. People will live in leisure tweeting to their friends. This is the future. This is why young people are the way they are. They have been given the correct personality type for the future. Work is outdated. The entire society and economy is outdated.
The main thing to be done is to do lots of work to make sure that the old system does not hang on because of vested interests. So that people can live in "leisure" and not "unemployment." in a world of plenty and not want. It can and should be done but it must be fought for. The old system will not go quietly.
"Even the most simple of childhood experiences -- such as bullying,"
And a mark of the entitlement is the inability or refusal to take responsibility for yourself.