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Delaine Moore

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My Next Partner Will Lie Beside Me & Enjoy A Good Book

Posted: 03/12/2012 8:16 pm

I've always yearned to lie beside the man I love and discuss a good book. To me, the mere idea of it feels romantic. Intimate. Even arousing.

No man I've cared for thus far, my ex-husband included, enjoyed reading books. Sure, they'd scour over a newspaper or the odd motorcycle or hunting magazine. But when it came right down to reading an actual book -- fiction or a non-fiction -- it was brushed off off as "unmanly" or "uninteresting".

It's not that I didn't try -- sometimes I practically pleaded with them to read. But I'd hear:

"Ohhhh, but it's so big."

Or: "Just sum it up for me real quick."

Or: "Are there sex scenes? Naked pictures? Does someone get killed?"

So I'd resort to placing it obviously on their nightstands. Unmistakable. A flashing reminder: READ ME.

Yet there they always remained. Untouched. Unopened. Collecting dust.

So I gave up and accepted. I told myself, "Lots of men don't like to read. It's a personal choice, Delaine."

But you know what?

It always kinda hurt.

And now... now, as I think about what qualities I want in my next partner, that romantic, long-ago vision returns. It's not that I'm expecting an English professor -- it's just that I've learnt quite enough about dirt bikes, hunting and fishing.

I want the sharing, the communication, the stimulation of a like-spirited partner -- on all levels. I want connection, attentive ears, thoughtful responses, maybe even a good debate. I want to watch him scour the pages as he ventures to the same place I eagerly roamed.

Yeah...

I want a partner who will lie beside me and discuss a good book.

 

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06:17 PM on 04/12/2012
Sorry....you may have to count me out. I love books but frankly nothing sends me into the arms of Morpheus faster than climbing ino bed at 11:00 with a book no mater how good it is. Yeah...I'd be glad to sit and read with you in a comfortable chair from 8:30 - 10:00 if we're not already tied up with any number of possible household chores, work deadlines, phone calls, reading the paper, planning the weekend, yelling at the kids. When lying together I prefer back rubbing, synchronized breathing, soul gazing, neck nibbling etc. Also...by 11:00 I'm pretty well "talked out" for the day.
Also...I'm already married.
06:45 PM on 04/11/2012
That's sounds like a "really nice to have" as opposed to a "must have." So many of my clients can't find "the one" because the "must have" list is too long and too detailed. I wanted a man who was kind, attracted and attractive to me, financially secure, loving, affectionate, and making a contribution to the betterment of the world. I don't mind that he sleeps while I read my Kindle in bed.
10:08 PM on 04/10/2012
A woman after my own heart! You are not alone in this desire to share something so intimate as your loved one's take on a novel. I find that it is a great way to date. It is easy too I merely suggest it and coax the guy to come over and spread a blanket in the backyard-most libraries have more than one copy of a book and if the guy is a true gentleman he will order 2 copies from one of the on-line booksellers for us. Add some cheese and crackers, a couple of cool drinks, a warm summer afternoon, and voila you have a feast! It also takes a while to finish the book-we each have to finish it reading on our own-then have another date to discuss it. Nothing quite creates a bond like a mutually satisfying book.

I suggest this to all of you readers out there. Try it once and you will be hooked!
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Glory Mooncalled
12:01 PM on 04/10/2012
Do you want the out-of-shape body that goes with a reader? A man who never fixes anything because he's not physical and would rather hire some other man to do the work?
10:02 AM on 03/29/2012
You'd be surprised Ms. Moore, men like to read too. Personally, I think it's very very very (did I say very) sexy to lay in bed and discuss my favorite authors with my SO. Some of the hottest times I've experienced have been after reading passages from my favorite books with someone special. Gabriel Garcia Marquez' magical realism, Larry McMurtry's well developed characters and even Hemingway's spare, grudging prose have all segued into unforgettable times in the bedroom. Reading, and READERS are sexy!
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D Pelletier
02:06 PM on 03/27/2012
and play scrabble...
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NobleTry
More ground is in the middle than at either end.
09:55 PM on 03/26/2012
Hey, I'm a manly man. And I read!
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NobleTry
More ground is in the middle than at either end.
09:53 PM on 03/26/2012
The title of your article speaks to your wishful thinking. Living in your own world.
12:09 PM on 03/23/2012
Be careful what you ask for. Wouldn't it be better to want someone with diverse interests which mirror yours from time to time? The reason I ask is because what happens if you get a partner who just lies around on his/her ass all day reading great books? Then what?
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Amadahy
loves peanut M&Ms and Whippoorwills
02:21 PM on 03/22/2012
I'm interested in finding a woman who likes to talk classical music, who understands the composers, forms, compositional techniques, and who can cite examples in these works to demonstrate their opinions. It's been really hard to find a woman who wouldn't rather listen to a 3 minute pop song with a vocalist. I'm totally serious btw; I'm not being sarcastic.
10:10 PM on 03/21/2012
I suggest you start hanging out in a library or B&N instead of wherever you're meeting people.
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10:38 AM on 03/19/2012
Some people like to read and some don't. I am in between.
10:10 AM on 03/19/2012
I think it goes a bit to depth. I have friends who watch sports and ESPN. And that's it. That's what they do. No newspapers, no magazines, no books. And I like them. They are fine men.

Does it mean they might be a bit challenged by a woman who wants something more than a discussion of the pitching problems of the Mets? Yes it does.

But at least those men are living their lives honestly - they are who they are - love them, or leave them.

And, I have found that if you are a man at a hotel pool in las vegas reading a book? Nice ladies will come talk to you.
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Willie12345
08:50 AM on 03/19/2012
And what are you willing to give in return ?
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Faye-Valentine
This is my micro-bio
06:03 PM on 03/17/2012
My ex-husband used to buy tons of books, but never read them. He liked to look like he read a lot. My partner now reads constantly and I love it. We share books that we love and talk about them and text each other when we get to an exciting part. It's so sexy! He's also a tough guy, who fixes cars, builds houses, and fixes stuff. MEOW!!!!!