"It's too sexy," "Too racy," "Too hot." These are some of the reasons various American media have rejected talking about my book-turned-movie, The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom. And quite honesty, I'm sitting here scratching my head.
Yes, there is some sex in this movie. Yes, it does involve some elements of dominance, submission, and BDSM, which is done gently, modestly and with class.
But there's so much more to the story than sex: identity, marriage, single parenting, divorce...So I'm perplexed as to what the problem is. It's certainly can't be concerns that the content doesn't interest Americans -- the wild success of Fifty Shades blows that to smithereens.
So why are people so afraid? The resistance must be fear-driven. Do they think Lifetime may have gone "wild"? Cause anyone who watches it knows they don't do nudity. Do they fear that in gently portraying D/s that Americans will become sexually deviant on the streets? Full blown orgies on the street corners? A mentality similar to, "If we allow women full and easy access to birth control pills, women will become sexual monsters"?
I'm truly astonished by how uptight the American media are around sex. Call me naïve or ill-informed if you want, but I really thought Americans were more open than Canadians. Yet my book and movie journey have surprisingly revealed quite the opposite.
I understand that some of the material in my book is edgy and pushes social boundaries and norms, but Canadian journalists and producers haven't shied away from my story, nor talking about D/s or using SEX/ SINGLE MOM on their front pages. Moreover, their coverage has been balanced -- they were strong in presenting a full story; they 'got' that sex and kink wasn't the message. I can only describe the Canadian reception as being one of quiet open-mindedness. Not overly salacious, just a feel of "we trust that you can do with this info what you please; you are adults."
On the other side of the border, I feel 'mistrust' from much of the American media. Like I'm a threat. Like they are the watchdogs, the guardians, in some ways, the heads of religion/moral purity. It feels like I'm being convicted of some horrible violent crime (which is OK to put on TV) when all I did was chose to explore my sexuality in responsible ways as I navigated an intensely tumultuous period of my life post-divorce.
Constraint, constraints, constraints -- I just can't believe how much of my work has had to be amputated to get even this far. And now it seems much of the media want to put a ball-gag in my mouth. But at least I'm not afraid of being truthful. I've had the balls to be real.
The movie's is premiering this coming Saturday, May 31 on American Lifetime. Hardly anyone even knows about it. Regardless, here's the teaser that was just released. I'm curious as to how people react to it on both sides of the border.
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