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Anything Girls Can Do, I Can Do Better

Posted: 01/09/2013 5:23 pm

My '79 graduation yearbook entry was: "Anything girls can do, I can do better."

"Like to see you have a baby!" was my best friend's response.

Of course, at 17, since I was a feminist before I even heard that term -- let alone knew what it meant -- I said that with tongue firmly planted in cheek. I just enjoyed reversing the gender stereotypes of my peers.

I was raised in a hierarchal, conservative area (read: small-town Ontario) in the 1960s.

I recall a girl sitting behind me in my Gr. 12 business class piping up, "Boys cannot be secretaries!"

Personally, I thought, was she for real? But verbally, I debated her in class.

"You do know that male secretaries came first!"

Even after our female teacher backed me up, Miss Clueless wouldn't budge.

Technically, I would graduate with the top marks in typing and shorthand in the entire school and that award included a job placement as, guess what? Okay, for this "boy Friday", they renamed it typing clerk.

Guess my fellow student and I were both right, but her narrow-minded thinking followed me post-graduation.

"We don't have male tellers," a bank manager insisted. "You'll have to take the manager training test."

And then, "You can't be a check-out boy, boy!" the major grocery chain store owner proclaimed. "That's a girl's job. Besides, you're over-qualified."

Not until I wore a dress did I actually get a gig. LOL!

I first performed for an audience in '87 at the age of 27. After my second performance, "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend" (as Marilyn Monroe), won a competition, you guessed it -- I got the acting bug.

Along the way, I was chosen as a top 10 Annie Lennox look-alike in a Much Music competition, won a London United Way Media Contest Best Performance as Madonna with the help of a Mini-Me and an Austin Powers, and even won a Men Interactive contest for Best Drag in North America with US$2500 in prizes.

Gee, my yearbook entry sure was prophetic!

That was an interesting part of my life. Especially considering the fact I never liked dressing in drag.

I've always said, if I were a woman I'd prefer to dress like a lesbian. Yes, I much prefer Ellen or Rosie's wardrobe, but who's going to pay to see a guy in makeup in men's clothing?'

Since I hated makeup, stockings and those god-awful pumps (girls, I do not know how you do it!), you can imagine drag certainly wasn't a career of choice for me. In fact 40 "performances" later I decided to try out what people called the "real theatre."

On my first audition, I nabbed a role in a Canadian play by David French, "Jitters." I remember I wanted to get upset and not giggle in this comedy in my "big moment" so I asked a fellow actress to slap me backstage before I went on every night. It worked every time! She really got into it too!

I had a fun run of shows: "House of Frankenstein", "A Chorus Line", "7 Stories, Opening Night", "Moon Over Buffalo" and "The Drowsy Chaperone". Funny the things you remember. One memory is 20 years ago in "Lend Me A Tenor" at the Port Stanley Festival Theatre: an actor choking me in character on stage, an extremely hot summer night with no air conditioning in the house, and the mother of all -- the fact our first full run through with set/costumes was opening night!

Those were the days.

I remember at this actor's workshop, the instructor asked me to be a giraffe and afterwards remarked, "You weren't a convincing giraffe." I replied, "I can live with that." It's funny because for a long time I collected giraffes -- I love them.

I learned a lot from all those experiences: don't be afraid to try anything. You might discover who YOU really are and what you want to do along the way.

I did. I don't think it is a coincidence that I'm now a theatre critic and editor.

But that old high school entry still haunts me now and again.

Like when I received an inside scoop that a television show would be looking for a replacement for a female co-host. Never one to let a little thing called gender stop me, I contacted the powers-that-be. After all, I have guest co-hosted shows with both male and female co-hosts. Even guest hosted solo on an hour-long radio show. So qualifications were not the issue. Within minutes, my going out on a limb was rewarded with a truth that broke my fall.

"We're looking for a female replacement."

"Does winning a Marilyn Monroe look-alike contest count?"

Silence.

"I can type 100 words a minute, take shorthand and my middle name is Michiel..."--

Click.

Nevertheless, that supposed rejection wouldn't stop me.

I applied to replace a blonde news personality who's going on maternity leave. And what a relief, a couple of other guys went up to bat as well! I don't know if they were "blonde", but I sure was.

This time it got real interesting as the public could vote on their favourites. I heard from people voting for me all the way in the USA! Wow, finally I have a chance to be "girl Friday", temp though it would be!

But no guy made the top five.

I guess my best friend was right after all. Maybe anything girls can do, boys can't do better, but I've had one hell of a life trying.

 

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01:35 PM on 01/10/2013
The part where I've struggled with this female stereotypes is in massage. I've called up more places with ads for jobs, only to be told the "job is filled" or "we only hire females" or some such nonsense. Its happened so many times. Unfortunately people who are not enlightened think that massage is all sexual when in fact, professional massage is about healthy touch. Dealt with this issue more than i care to at times. I've worked in jobs (farms) where it started out as a male dominated culture. Then they started to hire women. I was completely fine with that but there were a few women that thought they deserved extra consideration and didn't have to do what the rest of us did. I was like - I don't care if you are male or female - you're in the same job as I am, so why should it be any different.

Of course, I struggled through being called a sissy for playing the piano. I was the fastest typist in our class in highschool (partly because I played the piano).

I really hate gender stereotypes and I so badly want to see a woman in the White House! Tired of this good ol boys club! Okay - now that was probably a sexist comment!
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DonaldD
Huffington Post Blogger, Author, Father's Touch
07:01 PM on 01/10/2013
You've experienced some different examples of the same kind of thing I talk about. You and I both know that women have had to fight to get the rights they have now. We certainly had a head start being male. Thank god for feminism = we all just want to be treated equally.
10:25 PM on 01/09/2013
"I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat."
- Rebecca West

It's unfortunate that the term "feminist" is connotative of and sometimes defined as someone who supports women's rights and interests. To me, a feminist is someone who upholds equality of the sexes. This is a very well written and valid feminist article, I hope people see it as such.
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DonaldD
Huffington Post Blogger, Author, Father's Touch
04:56 AM on 01/10/2013
Busted. And I love your quote from Rebecca West. When I express my "point of view" I've heard, "Oh, that's because Donald is a feminist." ....as thought a. there's something wrong with my point of view, and b. that my point of view needs some kind of rationalization. Nope. You called it. Equality of sexes.