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Diverse Hiring Practices Don't Lower The Bar For Employees, They Weed Out The Mediocre

As a queer woman in tech, a Google employee's anti-diversity rant was familiar bullshit.

08/08/2017 16:02 EDT | Updated 08/08/2017 16:25 EDT
Mike Blake / Reuters

If you haven’t already seen the 10-page essay that a male Google software engineer spread within the company, you’ll probably hear about it at some point. I’m not going to share that here because I spread peanut butter, not bullshit, and I don’t want you to waste 10 minutes of your life reading drivel like I did.

Basically, the author is salty about Google having diversity programs for gender and racial minorities (and “minorities” is a stretch because white people make up only 63 percent of the U.S. population today, which varies drastically by city and state, where sometimes white people are the minority). Much of his argument rests on his claims that women biologically:

“on average are more cooperative”
“on average show a higher interest in people and men in things”
“on average look for more work-life balance while men have a higher drive for status on average”

Dude, where are you getting this hot tea?

Because I’m just going to say now that my male friends and colleagues enjoy using their personal days just as much as the women do. They also are in much better moods when they leave at a reasonable hour every day.

Also, “men have a higher drive for status?” When have women ever been given the opportunity and encouragement to achieve ambitions that didn’t involve making men a sandwich? You’d be damn good in the kitchen too if the alternative was your husband beating the shit out of you or raping you whenever you didn’t make the sandwich right.

By the way, I care deeply about my work status. In fact, I recently tried to add “The Most Bigly Creative in the World” to my email signature at work in addition to my regular “Senior Copywriter” title, but I was told that sounding like Trump isn’t always a good idea.

Pft the guy got elected president, didn’t he?

The author uses the word “discrimination,” saying that diversity programs are giving minorities unfair special treatment.

Meaning that white dudes like him aren’t getting a pass as easily as they used to. As in women and non-white people are now getting serious consideration for jobs. Yeah, that must really suck. Try going through that for, like, five centuries. You don’t feel special for the first time ever in the history of civilization? I’m trying ― really trying ― to feel bad (but jk, I didn’t try).

The author argues that these “diversity-focused” hiring practices can effectively lower the bar for “diversity” candidates, meaning ostensibly that Google is letting less qualified people in, just because they’re not white and male  ―  so that Google can fill a quota. Makes sense. But actually, that’s just mediocre man talk. Diversity candidates actually weed out the mediocre ones who don’t pull their weight.

Thank fuck for the London School of Economics. I might’ve actually believed that guy’s argument.

And then there’s this gem:

“In highly progressive environments, conservatives are a minority that feel like they need to stay in the closet to avoid open hostility. We should empower those with different ideologies to be able to express themselves.”

So hold on… in highly progressive environments, conservatives… are a minority? Hmm. That’s interesting. Tell me more.

“When it comes to diversity and inclusion, Google’s left bias has created a politically correct monoculture that maintains its hold by shaming dissenters into silence.”

You know what really grinds my gears about people who complain about having to be “PC?” I don’t know any ethnic minorities or queer people who ask people to please be “politically correct.” Only straight, white people use that term.

We’re not asking you to be politically correct.

We’re asking you to consider that the words you use have an impact on other people that you don’t understand, because we have experienced different things in life (i.e. don’t be an asshole).

But it’s easier to say, “Omg social justice warriors are so sensitive guys c’mon stop overreacting and being so politically correct,” instead of, “Why do I have to care about your feelings?” Isn’t it?

Look, I get it: it’s hard being mediocre. I’ve listened to and read enough think-pieces by salty dudes to be mildly sympathetic to your situation.

But you know what? You have no evidence or research ― merely stereotypes ― to back up your claims about biology making women less fit for leadership and tech roles. You’re an engineer. I thought you were, like, good with science and stuff.

You shit on microaggression training and awareness but don’t actually understand the effect of microaggressions because you’ve never had to experience them. That’s like me kicking you in the balls and then telling you to stop overreacting because “I don’t have balls but getting kicked in the balls doesn’t hurt ― what are you talking about?”

You call yourself a “liberal,” showing once again that saying “I’m a liberal” or “I have a sister” doesn’t prevent someone from being a sexist twat.

TL;DR on That Google Memo: 0 out of 5 stars, do not recommend.

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