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Erica Diamond

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Hold Them Back So They Can Get Ahead

Posted: 03/ 9/2012 7:23 am

It's called "redshirting." Perhaps you have heard of it.

The debate is an old one, but still relevant. Parents are holding their kids back in record numbers, often to give them a competitive advantage over their peers. It's the slight competitive edge that they get as the oldest child in the grade versus being the youngest. In fact, after watching a 60 Minutes segment (http://youtu.be/uHe5QCy9x0k) this past Sunday night on redshirting kindergarten, I wanted to write about it to get your take on it.

If you read the only comment below the full 13 minute CBS segment on YouTube, you'll see this: "Holden Corby is the lucky one. A parent with both the common sense and the Intelligence to understand nonsense when she hears it. What I hear in Barrett's mother's voice is that famous "high rising terminal" in her speech made famous by Valley Girls and other superficial, not-so-deep thinkers. Kindergarten is the introductory lesson to life at school and getting along with other kids. Kindergarten is not a place where the school plays host to a parent's vicarious ambitions."

Ouch. Obviously, this is only one person's opinion.

You see, I have a child who is relevant to the discussion. He was born right at the cut-off, and was the youngest in his grade. As he entered preschool at three, then preschool again at four, then kindergarten at five, my husband and I asked the professionals the same question every year, "Should we hold him back? Is he ready?" We had no interest in giving him a competitive advantage over his peers, we just wanted to make sure he could keep up socially, emotionally and academically. They gave us the same answer every year, "While perhaps he is a little less socially mature than his peers at the beginning of the school year, he is one of our brightest students in the class, so we feel if you hold him back, you will be doing him a great disservice academically. He will be bored and unchallenged." And so we listened.

Today at 8 1/2 years old, he is still at the top of his class academically, but I can tell you, he's not as socially mature as his peers. He's been known to suck his thumb a time or two, and he is still very attached to us. But, he makes the A team in sports, he's got a ton of friends, and seems to fit right in with his 3rd grade peers.

Did we make the right decision? Who knows? Had we held him back, would he have been more confident? Maybe. Would he have excelled more at sports? Perhaps. Would he have been smarter in school? Doubtful. Would he have had a better advantage in life? We'll never know. What we do know, is that he's thriving, and we have never looked back. But parents are doing whatever it takes to make sure their kids do have that life advantage. And believe me, I do get it.

Malcolm Gladwell, famous for his work in this area, and author of one of my favourite books, The Outliers, discussed the cold hard facts last night on the 60 Minutes segment. He explains, for example, a very significant number of NHL hockey players are born in January, February and March -- the closest to the January 1st NHL cutoff date, and therefore the oldest in their hockey year. He claims there is no coincidence... the older kids are bigger, faster, better, and more physically, and emotionally developed. Their age and size give them an advantage over the other players, which then slots them more frequently in the AAA teams. They then receive more ice time, better training, better coaching, and are groomed at an overall far superior level than their younger peers. Gladwell claims this difference makes all the difference, and this advantage follows them year after year, even in academics. It is quite striking to see the stats on paper. Sidney Crosby, and most hockey greats, are born in the 1st quarter of the year. Makes you wonder.

So my question today is to get your view on the debate. Would you redshirt your child to give them an advantage? And if so, on what some claim? Is it an advantage that carries past kindergarten? Have you redshirted your child? Did you opt out like I did? Are you on the fence? I'd love your side on this debate.

 

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It's called "redshirting." Perhaps you have heard of it. The debate is an old one, but still relevant. Parents are holding their kids back in record numbers, often to give them a competitive advant...
It's called "redshirting." Perhaps you have heard of it. The debate is an old one, but still relevant. Parents are holding their kids back in record numbers, often to give them a competitive advant...
 
 
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12:36 AM on 03/10/2012
Child A is born at the end of the year. Child A enters kindergarten but is able to do grade three math. Child A has friends enjoys kindergarten. Child A gets a new kindergarten teacher at Easter who dislikes child A since child A forgets his mittens. New school. Grade one teacher very bad. Puts Child A in the average group. Gives Child A a hard time but by the end of November realizes Child A belongs in smartest group. Grade two a new school. Child A reads books, is bored and confused. A psychologist decides his interaction with peers is fine (it isn't but he is the Expert). Child A's mother is told his iq is average but he shouldn't be advanced. She asks why an average child would be advanced and is told she is threatening. Child A's teacher is told he shouldn't have to do any written work. Classmates now turned against Child A. Grade three teacher says child A must do what everybody else does but may read a book besides the reader if he can manage to follow the reader. Child A read at a grade seven level when in grade two. Child A was not right for the school system. Child A truanted most of the time but Child A's parents weren't informed. Child A would have done well if accelerrated four years so he would have to try. School system gets an F. Fifty percent of all gifted children drop out of school.
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Harry Bradford
03:52 PM on 03/09/2012
So, what's the point of part (b) of the above law if it hurts kids who legitimately need a little extra time to make progress?
My grandson has suffered greatly because he was so far behind the other kids in his class. He did not deserve to be sad and angry because of adults' short-sighted decisions. The only explanation was that he was placed in an "age-appropriate" situation.
Luckily, I am a retired French teacher. Therefore, I simply read the extremely negative comments his teacher writes on his assignments (did not understand the lesson, needed teacher help, was only able to copy...) and make up as many fun literacy games as I can to help him overcome his disadvantageous situation.
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Harry Bradford
03:52 PM on 03/09/2012
The Ontario education Act states, re Compulsory attendance,
(a) every person who attains the age of six years on or before the first school day in September in any year shall attend an elementary or secondary school on every school day from the first school day in September in that year until the person attains the age of 18 years; and
(b) every person who attains the age of six years after the first school day in September in any year shall attend an elementary or secondary school on every school day from the first school day in September in the next succeeding year until the last school day in June in the year in which the person attains the age of 18 years.
The law seemed to meet the needs of my grandson, who experienced a very difficult birth on December 31, 2005. He developed slowly in many areas.He was placed in French Immersion Junior Kindergarten in September, 2010 when he was four years old, and adapted well.He changed schools in November, 2011, and was placed in a split grade 1-2, because the principal said that since he was GOING TO BE six, he now had to go to school every day, all day. She said that we could hold him out of school until September, 2012, but then he would be placed in grade TWO! Why? "Board policy".
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09:35 AM on 03/09/2012
My kids were both born in December, and we considered holding them back, but not so they could have an advantage in sports - so they could be emotionally on par with their peers. We chose to put them in early, and I always regretted it with my son, because he was not mature, and had an ADD type of brain. I think he would have had an easier time had we waited another year, but in the end it all worked out. At 21, he is now in his 3rd year of an electrical apprenticeship, has already bought a home, and is on the right track. My daughter is 25 and works as a dental assistant. She went to college right out of high school and is also headed in the right direction. I think it also depends on the child’s personality, how involved the parents are etc. But in hindsight, if I had it to do over again, I’d hold them back.
09:10 AM on 03/09/2012
My oldest son is 9 years old. I am eternally grateful for his January 12th birthday. While he is doing extremely well academically and socially today, he was significantly speech delayed as a toddler, requiring speech therapy. I often wonder if he would have been developmentally ready to start school any sooner than he did. However, my youngest child is a girl, age 4. Her birthday is December 30th. I can not imagine "redshirting" her. She is socially and developmentally ready to start school in September. My experience leads me to believe that both birth order and gender play a significant role in the issue. That said, I often wonder what is to be gained by "holding a child back". If a 4 year old is not ready for kindergarten one might argue that kindgergarten is exactly what they need.
09:42 PM on 03/08/2012
I was redshirted and I think it was a big advantage for me, even more so after I graduated then when i was in school. I am 20 now and in my first year of University, last year i did a travelling type program. So I am coming in as very mature and I think it shows, I have an idea with what I want to do in life and I am more grounded then many people around me. I'm more willing to dedicate time to my studies then many of the 18/19 year old peers around me. It's a big social advantage after graduation because there can be a huge difference between 17 and 18 years old. While people are different, I think it has been really helpful in my life and I am probably far more confident because of it. I'm thankful to my parents for holding me back.
08:46 AM on 03/09/2012
I think parents aren't taking this far enough. If they're better off after holding them back for 1 year, why not hold them back for 2? Maybe 10. Imagine how bright and mature they'd be if they were a 10 year old walking into a kindergarten class. They'd be awesome at sports against their peers. They'd pick up things faster. You could almost guarantee them the best school experience ever!