I recently came across an article in the Daily Mail about a new wedding trend I found to be a bit odd. Have you ever received a lovely card in the mail, assuming it was an invite to a friend's nuptials, only to discover you haven't made the cut? A notification advising you that you are, in fact, not invited?
Apparently there are to-be-wed couples out there who are using these non-invites to clear up any confusion around whether or not someone is invited to their wedding. Ever receive one?
I can tell you firsthand, co-ordinating invites for your top-tier friends and family who are indeed invited to your matrimonial fete is a lot of work (although, I opted for a wedding website and an email blast). Who the hell has time to also co-ordinate cards for the folks who are on the B-list?
If I received a card in the mail advising me that I was not invited to someone's wedding, I would toss that bad boy straight into the recycle bin. Are there really people out there who assume someone is going to lose sleep over not being invited to a wedding? Is it really necessary to break the news in such an official (read pompous) manner?
Some brides are going as far as creating a waiting list, in case some of the A-list guests can't make it. The wedding industry has already made a mint, surely we don't need to add one more expense to an already expansive list? I call foul on all this wedding f&%kery.
If you're in the midst of wedding planning and have established a budget for a certain amount of guests, here's a few tips on how to determine who makes the cut:
- Have you engaged with this person socially in the past 12 months? If not, you probably won't going forward so go ahead and strike them from the list.
- Does your partner know this person? If you haven't at least introduced them to your future spouse, they should not be witnessing your entrance into marriage.
- Are you inviting this person because they are 'part of the group'? Don't feel pressured to invite acquaintances to your wedding. If that's how you're going to roll, you may as well invite your dentist.
- Speaking of which, service professionals should not be invited. This includes your hairstylist, even if they did your hair for the big day.
- No, you do not have to invite your boss and/or colleagues just because you probably see them more than you see your significant other.
- Is your ex on the guest list? Go on and remove that straight away.
- Do you have any known problem guests on your list? The guy who always ends up in a fight or that girl who will probably shag the service staff? There's no need to invite liabilities to the party.
- Parents' friends who you have never met. This is not a social event for your parents, this is your day. Unless your parents are footing the bill, then the more the merrier.
- That distant third cousin, twice removed. Extended family should be included if they have played a meaningful role in your life, but some random rellie you never knew you had doesn't need to be there.
- One more way to cut down your list is to have an adult-only soiree, but that depends on the type of party you're planning to throw.
Are you struggling to cut back your wedding guest list? Do you have any other helpful tips? Post a comment or tweet me @urbancowgirl
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A large bridal party equals a hefty florist bill. Cut your posse from six to two and save big on blooms. Your new wedding budget: $41,615. See more bridesmaid ideas!Photo: Getty Images
Limit booze offerings to wine, beer, and a couple of specialty cocktails for a 25 percent-cheaper tab. Your new wedding budget: $40,365. See more wedding cocktail ideas!Photo: Getty Images
Pass four crowd-pleasing apps (in lieu of 10) and offer a plentiful spread of cheeses and bruschetta to save $10 per guest. Your new wedding budget: $39,115. < a href="http://www.brides.com/wedding-ideas/wedding-meals-drinks" target="blank">See more wedding food ideas!Photo: Getty Images
Serve taste-alikes: prosecco instead of champagne, hanger steak in lieu of filet mignon, and grouper over cod. Your new wedding budget: $37,865. See more catering ideas!Photo: Getty Images
Book a DJ: On average, a talented one costs five times less than a live band of the same caliber. Your new wedding budget: $30,565. See more wedding entertainment ideas!Photo: Getty Images
Top it with one XL sugar bloom instead of a cascade of edible flora to save $10 per slice. Your new wedding budget: $29,350. See more wedding cake ideas!Photo: Getty Images
Who wants to pay for shots of drunk, sweaty guests at the end of the night anyway? Your new wedding budget: $29,000. See more wedding entertainment ideas!Photo: Getty Images
Avoid having a fancy car on standby the entire day. Choose to make a grand entrance or a big exit. Your new wedding budget: $28,000. See more real wedding ideas!Photo: Getty Images
Make one group-friendly edit so you can order the same album for yourselves, your parents, and your in-laws. Your new wedding budget: $26,500. See more photography ideas!Photo: Getty Images
Print all your stationery digitally. Go for great color and typography rather than pricey techniques and chunky paper stock. Your new wedding budget: $25,000. See more invitation ideas!Photo: Getty Images
Congratulations! Your new wedding budget is just half of the $50,000 you started out with. You've saved $25,000, which leaves you with more funds for your honeymoon -- and your new life together.
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