THE BLOG

Overparenting Is Doing More Harm Than Good

10/06/2015 05:32 EDT | Updated 01/20/2017 04:58 EST

Overparenting, over-managing, over-involved. This is how we would describe our generation of parents.

It permeates every aspect of a child's life and affects kids of all ages, even those in university.

It comes from a good place of course -- we love them and want to protect them. We want them to be the best in whatever they undertake.

But what are we really protecting them from? And what message are we giving them about life? Is it failure that we're shielding them from? Is it our fear of them failing and not always being number one that is driving us to micromanage their lives? Why can't we just let them be, like our parents did with us?

We are constantly scheduling their play dates. Whatever happened to coming home from school and finding kids to play with on the street? Our mothers never made our plans.

We go to every game and practice. Our parents carpooled. If we had two games a week and a practice, they hooked up with three other families and took turns driving. We need to be there all the time, making sure our kids get equal playing time and discussing the game afterwards.

We hire math tutors in grade six, in middle school and high school. The tutors aren't just for the kids who are struggling. They're for the kids who get 85 per cent and want to get 95 per cent.

We worry about our kids constantly being challenged at the highest level. What's wrong with coasting a bit? No one can be good at everything. It'll leave some extra time to work on the areas they need to improve.

We encourage our middle school and high school-aged kids to find their passion. What does this really mean? Politics? Climate change? Fighting poverty? Music? Not to devalue any of these pursuits, but we suspect most teenage boys have a passion for video games, sports and sex. For a teenage girl -- clothes, Netflix and her latest crush.

Have you ever stopped to question what the end result of all this involvement is? It's a generation that can't do anything on its own.

A generation that needs coaches, tutors, mom and dad to be at the sidelines at all times.

A generation that thinks it always needs to be number one at everything.

A generation that is never satisfied with who they are.

A generation of anxious, nervous kids.

A generation that is not hungry for anything because everything is handed to them, everything is fixed for them.

We are robbing them of the opportunity to grow up and discover themselves. To figure out who they are, what they love, what they excel at, what they want to excel at.

Let's stop protecting them from the world and start preparing them for it, instead.

About the Authors: Stephanie Kleiman and Tal Sruovicz are co-owners and editors-in-chief of Her Magazine. Read more of their blogs here.

Join us on Facebook

MORE ON HUFFPOST:

7 New Ways to Think About Parenting