Huffpost Canada ca
Hina P. Ansari Headshot

The Godfather Chronicles: What if Michael Corleone Tweeted?

Posted: Updated:

I am a film buff. Correction. A film fanatic. And after recently catching up with my dear old celluloid friends namely, Brasco, Corleone, Hill and Conway, it reaffirmed my belief that nothing nourishes my soul quite like curling up with a great old gangster flick.

Recently I was elated to find out that there was this forgettaboutit-filled mob flick marathon and of course the Godfather Trilogy was at the top of my list. As soon as my brother dutifully reminded me over Facebook, I immediately grabbed the remote and tuned in, just when Michael was prepping for his gun-taped-to-the-commode showdown with the corrupt Police Chief and Sollozzo.

And once again I lost myself in the ether of sweeping music, pinstripe suits, fedoras, irresistible offers and the poor silk-sheeted fate of Khartoum.

I had my mob fix. Or so I thought. A few days later I was delightfully treated to an impromptu double bill screening of Donnie Brasco and Good Fellas and more happy dances ensued.

While reliving all of The Godfather's plot twists and turns, the cinematography and Coppola's masterful directorial turn of each scene, a thought had occurred to me: what if Twitter existed during that time? What would the Corleone family players have tweeted? How would they have encapsulated their moments in 140 characters or less? And most importantly, would they have been retweet worthy?

So I went there... in full frivolity, to the depths of my cinematic contraband friends' minds and bring to you, a sampling of what the iconic crime family and their buddies' updates would have been like. And this example spans the first two films. So my fellow Godfather fanatics: I wholeheartedly share in your enthusiasm, so remember, this is what I think to be a humourous taste. So go ahead, join me in some silliness here, and please whatever you do, don't forget the cannoli. (Sorry, couldn't resist the last part.)

Here are their Twitter handles (and in case you were wondering, they would have had their tweets locked for privacy... for obvious reasons).

Michael: @familyman

Sonny: @2hot2handle

Don: @pappabear

Fredo: @vegasbaby

Enzo (The Baker): @cakeboss

Tom Hagen: @irisheyes

@familyman

"Connie's gettin' married this weekend! @2hot2handle can't wait 2 introduce you 2 my girl, Kay. And hands off!"

@2hot2handle

"What am I? A sex-crazed maniac? Don't answer that. RT@familyman Can't wait 2 introduce you 2 Kay. And hands off!"

@pappabear
"Client meetings on Con's day. Always about THEIR needs. What about MY needs? Who's The Don here? Oh yeah. ME!!"

@pappabear
"Now it's the Undertaker. Whatshisname. Sigh. Kitty keeping my blood pressure n check."

@2hot2handle
"Bridesmaid is making some serious eye contact. Time 2 hustle."

@pappabear
"If Johnny cries one more time. One. More. Time...."

@irisheyes
"Headin' to LA. Things I do 4 a sniffling screen idol wannabe."

@cakeboss
"Just spent night at hospital w/ @familyman. Should've tweeted him b4 I got there. Guy was jumpy!"

@2hot2handle
"He wants 2 B in THE Game. Pinstripe suit rough up got him heated. Man up college boy!"

@familyman
"Mission accomplished. Way 2 duct-tape it Clem! Almost couldn't find it."

@2hot2handle
"U DON'T beat up my sis. Gonna bust a trash can on certain someone's head 2day."

@familyman
"Gonna b n transit 4 a while 2 rediscover my roots+brush up on my I-talian."

@familyman
"English+driving lessons 2day. Hope she finally learns days/week. Seriously! Not that hard!"

@vegasbaby
"Promotion baby. Finally!! Vegas here I come!"

@familyman
"W/ bro+friends n Havana. Cigars @ nightclub w/ a twist. @vegasbaby, C U at NYEve bash @ Palace. Need 2 pick ur brain."

@vegasbaby
"Gone fishing."

Follow Hina P. Ansari on Twitter @hinapansari

Around the Web

The Godfather (1972) - IMDb

Religion and power with the Corleones of the Renaissance

'The Godfather' vs. 'Goodfellas': There can only be one Boss