Well, at least it's been a good week for the nation's cartoonists.
One of the lamest  things about making caricatures for the editorial page is all the time you spend drawing stupid boring junk like deficits and Nycole Turmel instead of cool, fun stuff like pirates and dinosaurs. So the joy has been palatable that Canadian politics is finally having a robot-themed scandal to liven things up a bit. The march of these charming Lost in Space-esque robo-men into newspapers coast to coast may be the only bright side to a story that would have otherwise had us focusing all our attention on dreary things like poutine parlours and Guelph, Ontario.
For those just joining us now, last Wednesday, the Postmedia team broke a story revealing that during the 2011 federal election, a national call centre under Conservative employ sent misleading robocalls to hapless voters in the riding of incumbent Liberal MP Frank Valeriote. "Clank clank, Go vote at the crappy mall with bad parking," said the robots. But then when the voters got there... there was no voting to be found!
Aaand scene. That's literally all we know about the scandal right now, which means it's an incredibly exciting time for the nation's political commentators, who will never again enjoy such a vacuum of ambiguity just begging to be filled with their wildest partisan fantasies. Most of these wistful dreams, in turn, center around the premise that since at least one species of deceptive robocall allegedly had some manner of Tory approval, wouldn't it be awesome if all the other deceptive -- or even just annoying -- robocalls that apparently plagued the last election were part of some large Conservative conspiracy, too?
Warren Kinsella wastes little time reaching for the big guns, in this case, the r-word. "If senior people within the Conservative Party of Canada conspired to rig the May 2011 election, what are the consequences?" he asks. I imagine they'd be pretty severe, Warren. And if senior aunts within the Conservative Party of Canada were men, I imagine they'd be uncles. But that's the fun of "if."
Never one to be outdone in raising the rhetorical stakes, Barbara Yaffee at the Vancouver Sun goes one step further, declaring that the whole alleged business of nation-wide shenanigans "sounds like Vladimir Putin's Russia or Robert Mugabe's Zimbabwe." Frankly, I thought Putin's Russia and Mugabe's Zimbabwe sounded more like cracking skulls and exploding tear gas canisters, but then again it can be hard to hear Guelph from Vancouver.
Surprisingly, pundits on the right have been somewhat quicker to downplay the idea that Canadian democracy is dangling by a single-frayed thread over Stephen Harper's Bokassa-style alligator pit. Nixon analogies are overdone, but for connivence's sake, we can call them the "third-rate burglary" faction.
After asking some of his Tory buddies what's up, Jon Ivison at the National Post concludes that "at this stage, there is no evidence of a co-ordinated campaign to misdirect voters," which would probably surprise Daniel Veniez at the Mark, who says "the Conservative party engaged in an organized and systematic voter-suppression campaign." So clearly they'll have to agree to disagree. The best dismissal of all came from Michael Coren on Sun TV, however, who in language only a true Englishman could muster, waved off the very notion that anyone should give a whit about "a few silly phone calls."
With conclusions now firmly established, in the weeks to follow pundits will have to begin the less glamorous business of assembling actual evidence to support their case. Dan Gardner (who, as he helpfully reminds us, has written a book about this sort of thing) worries the story is in danger of getting trapped in the "the feedback effect," however, where the majority overzealous reporters push one particular narrative -- conspiracy! -- so strongly that it ultimately warps memories and generates an "avalanche of faulty recollections, self-serving illusions, and plain old lies." In other words, when the Globe leads with a guy claiming rigged calls "definitely changed my vote," take it with grain of salt.
The worst damage is probably already done, in any case. Ideological polarization is a nasty thing, and as our politics gets ever-more bound up in epic, irresolvable clashes between right and left, new standards of victory invariably demand opponents not only be defeated, destroyed, and hated, but also rendered illegal and illegitimate.
For the left, the idea that the Harper administration is not only dangerous and malevolent, but also rode into office on a rigged election of "systematic subversion" may prove too attractive to ever jettison, regardless of what the facts end up saying. Tory-backers, for their part, are welcome to merrily la-la-la their way through the dirty details of whatever inquiry inevitably winds up being called.
A story of robots indeed.
Follow J.J. McCullough on Twitter: www.twitter.com/JJ_McCullough
Tim Knight: Watching the Watchdog: The Sun Also Confuses
Harper denies robocall charges, demands opposition show evidence
Harper denies Conservative link to fraudulent election 'robocalls ...
Harper says Tories not behind robocalls; accuses opposition of ...
Even if there were robocalls, Harper won fair and square
There either was a conspiracy to misdirect and potentially defraud the Canadian voter, or there was not.
In the latter case, your article would make eminent sense - after all, why get excited about nothing?
If, however, there WAS a systematic conspiracy to mislead and misdirect non-Tory supporters, your implication that we should all take a valium would be a highly questionable recommendation, and would suggest that you care more for the scorecard and who's ahead than the actual issues under consideration.
Apologies if this posts twice - but it seems a lot of comments are being "scrubbed" from this thread.
"What would you do? Cut a great road through the law to get after the Devil? And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned 'round on you, where would you hide, the laws all being flat?"
It is Law that demands that, not reason. Why should we presume the Tories innocent when they are giving every indication of being guilty?
There are two possibilities:
1. There was a massive conspiracy to subvert our right to vote in the last election - or -
2. There was not
In the context of "2", your article would make perfect sense - in that case, a whole bunch of Canadians would have gotten upset for nothing.
In the context of "1", your article would make absolutely no sense at all - if there WAS a massive conspiracy, then it will become quite clear who is on which side, and which side was "wrong".
The most robotic predictability of all can be found comfortably ensconced within your post: rather than address the actual issue, let's discuss the scorecard and see who's ahead.
Your starting point, "1." is a huge presupposition. You presuppose something from nothing other than the opinions of those who do not hold all the evidence and who probably have a vendetta against the current government. That's their prerogative. Witch hunts are great until you discover you may have set the wrong people on fire.
And you just KNOW that the Tories wouldn't stoop as low as this.
So, I guess, that's that and we can move on! Thanks for clearing it up for me.
You must understand that the Harper government is using every trick in the book to try to wriggle out of this: first, a flat denial. Then, they trotted out false accusations in an attempt to smear the opposition (particularly egregious, as the Tories accused the opposition of using foreign consultants, when in fact it was 14 Tory candidates who had done so in the previous election); now, in spite of having "absolutely" no connection with the robocalls (as promised by the PM in the House), the Conservatives are going to "review" the tapes at RMS BEFORE Elections Canada's investigators arrive.
The author of the post suggests that we simply go back to sleep - all this arguing is so unseemly.
The author asks for calm, I ask for outrage! Outrage that the CONS majority may not be legitimate that HEALTH CARE subsidies may not have been reduced, that the gun registry may still be alive, that the corporate tax rate may not have been lowered, that the F35s may have been rethought, that omnibus crime bill would never have been introduced, that the internet spy bill would never have seen the light of day... etc etc etc.... OUTRAGE not calm is the appropriate human response.
So is smug references to how much better than we are to our southern neighbours. Who at least speak up for themselves and have some passionate beliefs about what their country stands for. Not like Mr McCullough, who wants us just all to chill and go back to watching cable shows celebrating ignorance and greed.
It's a little early to mock the lack of evidence in this affair. What's been brought to light so far is bad enough. The investigation has only just begun. This could be very bad.
You cite this squabble over "a few silly phone calls" as yet another example of right-left polarization.
It certainly is - and the phone calls were pointless and unnecessary, given that the Conservatives were headed for a majority in any case.
Somebody organized and paid for this sleazy enterprise. It wasn't cheap. If any of the impetus or dollars came from the party, Harper will wear the consequences, whether or not he was in fact responsible. That's politics, as you know.
We don't need these kinds of dirty tricks in Canada. To pretend they're business as usual is sleazy in itself.
If enough evidence is gathered, charges are laid, and the verdict of guilty or not guilty then follows.
But unless the accusation is made in the first place, guilt or innocence cannot be established.
By definition, our legal system does not wait until you have been proven guilty BEFORE laying charges. Charges are laid, and the judgment follows.
But relax! The chances of finding an actual smoking gun in this case are very slim. The Tories will have done their best to make sure that nobody important is "on record" as organizing these calls - right down to the invention of "Pierre Poutine".
We have been treated like rubes at the carney - and that is something Canadians will naturally feel pretty upset about.
Who are you going to believe? Me, or your own lyin' eyes?
Way to put country first over party.
Great post though J.J.! I really enjoy reading a post taking the mickey out of everyone eager to profit off this mess. :)
For me, regardless of who made them, I want a full investigation. The number of reported calls is now in the tens of thousands, far more than any single 'rogue' staffer could have been responsible. Somebody was trying to rig our last election, and we need to find out who is to blame for it and prosecute them. And no critique of the partisan wrangling on every side of the issue changes that fact by one iota.
Begs the question.
Did you arrive at that conclusion because of the unconfirmed evidence of this scandal or because of some other verified evidence before this story broke?
Wait 'til the evidence has been reviewed/confirmed.
31,000 calls reported and counting. Elections Canada and the RCMP investigating. Multiple ridings reporting the same types of calls.
So, what do think this was, a prank? There is only one purpose to this type of stunt, to influence the election. Where there's smoke, there is fire.
yeah sure...that's why Toews wanted to take our online privacy away....and called us all pedos.........the "we are innocent" line Stinks to high heaven
Guess what the sky is blue, see I can point out the obvious as well. When it is snowing it is most likely cold. Wow I am on a roll, any other obvious observations you would care to share?
As a cartoonist I would think humor might have been employed at some point in this article but yet nothing? Or was Annnd Scene your attempt?
Thanks you for allowing us to waste our time reading your article which added nothing to anything, but did susgest you definitely feel superior to all these political hacks running around like chickens with their heads cut off. I thought after wasting my time with this crap I should waste a bit of yours by responding.