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J.J. McCullough

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The U.S. Has Glitz and Glamour...We Have Tainted Meat

Posted: 10/11/2012 8:01 am

As Canadians, we can all agree that American politics are way better than our own, right?

I mean, yah yah health care whatever, but in terms of the actual vigour of ideological debate, the sheer breadth and width of issues openly discussed, the unapologetically divergent solutions offered, and the abundance of pomp, pageantry, and tradition, it's hard to argue Canadian politics are anything but soggy carrots beside a Yankee mignon.

Oh, it's just a "form of entertainment," we say sheepishly, but this uncomfortable defense carries about as much believability as "I just visit PornTube for the articles." We love American politics not simply because the Canadian system would never permit the emergence of a Sarah Palin, Paul Ryan, or (for that matter) Barack Obama, but because its debates and stories are cleaner and more compelling than our own, its policy consequences more significant, and its either/or two-party system a welcome change from the intentionally muddled vagaries of our own parliamentary governance (where a determined minority persists that even winning an election is not sufficient to assume power).

Long story short, Canadian editorial pages have devoted a lot more column space to American affairs than our own as of late. But I mean, given the choice between covering a ferocious battle between two men vying for leadership of the free world and a vague conspiracy theory that some guy named Gary Ritz may have not done enough to monitor Albertan beef processing -- well, what would you choose?

Let's begin with Postmedia superstar Michael Den Tandt, who looks at the state of the American race and scratches his head. "Obama and Biden should be walking away with it," he puzzles. I mean, the Prez killed bin Laden, passed universal health care, fixed the economy (more or less), and taught the world to love again. "It's a solid record, when history is placed right side up," agrees the Globe and Mail editorial board.

But alas, says Mike, these days it's a candidate's media image that truly matters, and last week's debate clearly proved that presidential races basically come down to who "appears more confident and upbeat" and has "the better one-liners." It's kinda "stupid," he says, but whatcha gonna do? That's democracy!

Bah, responds Erza Levant, if Obama's losing it's just because he's a whiny lazy loser! America's a third-world basket case of debt and despair, U.S. foreign policy is a "disaster," and you know why? It's cause ol' less-than-one-term-in-the-Senate-Barry has never actually run anything before -- "other than running his mouth."

Ho ho, you are quite a load of laughs, Ezra, rejoins Douglas Saunders at the Globe. If you actually look at the numbers, you can see that Obama is "still overwhelming" Mitt in the polls even after the President's crappy post-debate plunge. So no one should be "throwing their hands in the air and shrieking" just yet -- except maybe the Right.

And so stands the consensus of the Canadian punditocracy: Obama's record is controversial, debates are important, and the presidential race remains tight. Hey, I said Canadians were obsessed with American political commentary -- I never said we were any good at it.

***

Of course, the other reason we Canucks love U.S. politics so much is because it can offer a useful window into the motives of our own politicians. Our two nations share broadly similar philosophical traditions, after all -- an American progressive isn't that much different than a Canadian one, nor a Republican that different from a Tory.

But it's still possible to go too far with such analogies, especially if you're some manner of liberal journalist specializing in the fine art of guilt-by-association.

This week, for instance, both the Globe's Jeffrey Simpson and the Toronto Star's Heather Mallick wheeled out one of the laziest tropes in the ongoing Americanization of Canadian discourse -- the claim that the Harper government is chin-deep in the pocket of Big Evangelical.

Now, the Evangelical Right's supposed dominance of mainstream conservatism is a questionable premise even in America (what religion is Mitt Romney again?) but to suggest it's an accurate description of the Harper Conservatives requires a mind capable of spectacular intellectual convolutions. And lookie here!

Heather is very concerned that a few back-bench Cons have been making noises about wanting to regulate abortion -- which clearly reveals their deep-seeded Handmaid's Tale "fantasies about controlling women's bodies and lives" -- while Jeff knows that such pro-life squawking shows "how powerful religion remains as a force in the Conservative Party."

I would proceed with my sassy summary, but neither actually goes much further than that. Heather and Jeff simply assert that reactionary views are on the march within Tory ranks, then pad their columns with filler about the United Nations, David Cameron, and SCTV. As opposed to, say, evidence.

In his opener, Jeff notes that the ability of Canadian journalists to report accurately on religious matters is significantly handicapped by the fact that so many are "secularists" who often "have no religious faith at all." He thinks this leads to an underestimation of Evangelical strength, 'cause it's not like ignorance about this-or-that out-group ever breeds exaggerated fears about their power.

But then again, maybe it's just good ol' Canadian jealously. I mean, American liberals get to write about the oppressive stranglehold of Evangelicals over their glamorous political process all the time.

How's tainted meat supposed to compete with that?

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  • US-VOTE-2012-DEBATE

    US President Barack Obama (R) greets Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney (L) following the first presidential debate at Magness Arena at the University of Denver in Denver, Colorado, October 3, 2012. After hundreds of campaign stops, $500 million in mostly negative ads and countless tit-for-tat attacks, Obama and Romney went head-to-head in their debut debate. AFP PHOTO / Saul LOEB (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/GettyImages)

  • US-VOTE-2012-DEBATE

    US President Barack Obama (R) greets Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney (L) following the first presidential debate at Magness Arena at the University of Denver in Denver, Colorado, October 3, 2012. After hundreds of campaign stops, $500 million in mostly negative ads and countless tit-for-tat attacks, Obama and Romney went head-to-head in their debut debate. AFP PHOTO / Saul LOEB (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/GettyImages)

  • US-VOTE-2012-DEBATE

    US President Barack Obama (R) greets Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney (L) following the first presidential debate at Magness Arena at the University of Denver in Denver, Colorado, October 3, 2012. After hundreds of campaign stops, $500 million in mostly negative ads and countless tit-for-tat attacks, Obama and Romney went head-to-head in their debut debate. AFP PHOTO / Saul LOEB (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/GettyImages)

  • US-VOTE-2012-DEBATE

    US President Barack Obama (L) and Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney finish their debate at the University of Denver in Denver, Colorado, October 3, 2012. After hundreds of campaign stops, $500 million in mostly negative ads and countless tit-for-tat attacks, Obama and Romney go head-to-head in their debut debate. AFP PHOTO / Saul LOEB (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/GettyImages)

  • Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney, left, shakes hands with President Barack Obama following the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)

  • President Barack Obama shakes hands with Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney after the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Pool-Michael Reynolds)

  • President Barack Obama hugs First lady Michelle Obama after the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Pool-Michael Reynolds)

  • Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney, left, and President Barack Obama speak after the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)

  • Mitt Romney, Barack Obama

    President Barack Obama and Republican presidential candidate and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney talk at the end of the first presidential debate in Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

  • Mitt Romney, Barack Obama

    Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney and President Barack Obama laugh after the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

  • President Barack Obama and Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney participate in shakes hands with Ann Romney after the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Pool-Michael Reynolds)

  • Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney and family talk to President Barack Obama and family after the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Pool, Rick Wilking)

  • Left, President Barack Obama hugs his wife Michelle with Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney hugs his wife Ann following the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)

  • President Barack Obama hugs his wife Michelle following the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

  • Mitt Romney, Barack Obama

    President Barack Obama and Republican presidential candidate and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney talk at the end of the first presidential debate in Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

  • Mitt Romney

    Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney answers a question during the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

  • Barack Obama

    President Barack Obama gestures during the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

  • Mitt Romney

    Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney gestures during the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

  • Mitt Romney

    Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney smiles as President Barack Obama during the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

  • President Barack Obama smiles at moderator Jim Lehrer during the first presidential debate with Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)

  • Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney speaks during the first presidential debate with President Barack Obama at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)

  • President Barack Obama points to Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney during the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)

  • President Barack Obama answers a question of moderator Jim Lehrer during the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Pool-Michael Reynolds)

  • Barack Obama

    President Barack Obama smiles as Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney answers a question during the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

  • President Barack Obama, right, listens to Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney during the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

  • US-VOTE-2012-DEBATE

    US President Barack Obama (R) and republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney (L) participate in the first presidential debate at Magness Arena at the University of Denver in Denver, Colorado, October 3, 2012, moderated by Jim Lehrer (C) of the PBS NewsHour. After hundreds of campaign stops, $500 million in mostly negative ads and countless tit-for-tat attacks, Obama and Romney go head-to-head in their debut debate. AFP PHOTO / Saul LOEB (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/GettyImages)

  • US-VOTE-2012-DEBATE

    Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney (L) speaks during the first presidential debate with US President Barack Obama October 3, 2012 at the University of Denver in Denver, Colorado. AFP PHOTO/Mandel NGAN (Photo credit should read MANDEL NGAN/AFP/GettyImages)

  • Mitt Romney, Barack Obama

    President Barack Obama and Republican presidential candidate and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney participate the first presidential debate in Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

  • Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney's shadow is reflected during the first presidential debate President Barack Obama withat the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

  • President Barack Obama speaks during the first presidential debate with Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)

  • US-VOTE-2012-DEBATE

    US President Barack Obama listens during his debate with Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney at Magness Arena at the University of Denver in Denver, Colorado, October 3, 2012. After hundreds of campaign stops, $500 million in mostly negative ads and countless tit-for-tat attacks, Obama and Romney go head-to-head in their debut debate. AFP PHOTO / Nicholas KAMM (Photo credit should read NICHOLAS KAMM/AFP/GettyImages)

  • US-VOTE-2012-DEBATE

    US President Barack Obama debates Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney at Magness Arena at the University of Denver in Denver, Colorado, October 3, 2012. After hundreds of campaign stops, $500 million in mostly negative ads and countless tit-for-tat attacks, Obama and Romney go head-to-head in their debut debate. AFP PHOTO / Saul LOEB (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/GettyImages)

  • US-VOTE-2012-DEBATE

    Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney speaks during his debate with US President Barack Obama at Magness Arena at the University of Denver in Denver, Colorado, October 3, 2012. After hundreds of campaign stops, $500 million in mostly negative ads and countless tit-for-tat attacks, Obama and Romney go head-to-head in their debut debate. AFP PHOTO / Saul LOEB (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/GettyImages)

  • US-VOTE-2012-DEBATE

    US President Barack Obama (R) and Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney (L) participate in the first presidential debate at Magness Arena at the University of Denver in Denver, Colorado, October 3, 2012, moderated by Jim Lehrer (C) of the PBS NewsHour. After hundreds of campaign stops, $500 million in mostly negative ads and countless tit-for-tat attacks, Obama and Romney go head-to-head in their debut debate. AFP PHOTO / Saul LOEB (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/GettyImages)

  • Barack Obama, Mitt Romney

    Republican presidential candidate, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, left, and President Barack Obama, right, speak during their first debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

  • Mitt Romney, Barack Obama

    President Barack Obama answers a question as Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney listens during the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

  • President Barack Obama listens as Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney answers a question during the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Rick Wilking, Pool)

  • Obama And Romney Square Off In First Presidential Debate In Denver

    DENVER, CO - OCTOBER 03: U.S. President Barack Obama (L) listens as Republican presidential candidate and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney (R) speaks during the Presidential Debate at the University of Denver on October 3, 2012 in Denver, Colorado. The first of four debates for the 2012 Election, three Presidential and one Vice Presidential, is moderated by PBS's Jim Lehrer and focuses on domestic issues: the economy, health care, and the role of government. (Photo by Michael Reynolds-Pool/Getty Images)

  • Obama And Romney Square Off In First Presidential Debate In Denver

    DENVER, CO - OCTOBER 03: Democratic presidential candidate, U.S. President Barack Obama (R) speaks as Republican presidential candidate, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney listens during the Presidential Debate at the University of Denver on October 3, 2012 in Denver, Colorado. The first of four debates for the 2012 Election, three Presidential and one Vice Presidential, is moderated by PBS's Jim Lehrer and focuses on domestic issues: the economy, health care, and the role of government. (Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)

  • Obama And Romney Square Off In First Presidential Debate In Denver

    DENVER, CO - OCTOBER 03: Republican presidential candidate, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney (L) speaks as Democratic presidential candidate, U.S. President Barack Obama (R) listens during the Presidential Debate at the University of Denver on October 3, 2012 in Denver, Colorado. The first of four debates for the 2012 Election, three Presidential and one Vice Presidential, is moderated by PBS's Jim Lehrer and focuses on domestic issues: the economy, health care, and the role of government. (Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)

  • US-VOTE-2012-DEBATE

    US President Barack Obama listens during his debate with Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney at Magness Arena at the University of Denver in Denver, Colorado, October 3, 2012. After hundreds of campaign stops, $500 million in mostly negative ads and countless tit-for-tat attacks, Obama and Romney go head-to-head in their debut debate. AFP PHOTO / Nicholas KAMM (Photo credit should read NICHOLAS KAMM/AFP/GettyImages)

  • US-VOTE-2012-DEBATE

    The shadow of Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney is projected beneath a copy of The Declaration of Independence during the presidential debate with US President Barack Obama at Magness Arena at the University of Denver in Denver, Colorado, October 3, 2012. After hundreds of campaign stops, $500 million in mostly negative ads and countless tit-for-tat attacks, Obama and Romney go head-to-head in their debut debate. AFP PHOTO / Saul LOEB (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/GettyImages)

  • US-VOTE-2012-DEBATE

    Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney participates in the first presidential debate with US President Barack Obama at Magness Arena at the University of Denver in Denver, Colorado, October 3, 2012, moderated by Jim Lehrer of the PBS NewsHour. After hundreds of campaign stops, $500 million in mostly negative ads and countless tit-for-tat attacks, Obama and Romney go head-to-head in their debut debate. AFP PHOTO / Saul LOEB (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/GettyImages)

  • President Barack Obama answers a question during the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Pool-Michael Reynolds)

  • Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney speaks during the first presidential debate with President Barack Obama at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

  • Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney, left, listens to President Barack Obama during the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)

  • President Barack Obama watches as Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney answers a question during the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Pool, Rick Wilking)

  • Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney points to President Barack Obama during the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

  • US-VOTE-2012-DEBATE

    US President Barack Obama speaks during his debate with Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney at Magness Arena at the University of Denver in Denver, Colorado, October 3, 2012. After hundreds of campaign stops, $500 million in mostly negative ads and countless tit-for-tat attacks, Obama and Romney go head-to-head in their debut debate. AFP PHOTO / Nicholas KAMM (Photo credit should read NICHOLAS KAMM/AFP/GettyImages)

  • US-VOTE-2012-DEBATE

    US President Barack Obama speaks during his debate with Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney at Magness Arena at the University of Denver in Denver, Colorado, October 3, 2012. After hundreds of campaign stops, $500 million in mostly negative ads and countless tit-for-tat attacks, Obama and Romney go head-to-head in their debut debate. AFP PHOTO / Nicholas KAMM (Photo credit should read NICHOLAS KAMM/AFP/GettyImages)

  • Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney answers a question during the first presidential debate at the University of Denver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Pool-Michael Reynolds)

 

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