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'Big Brother Canada' Season 2, Week 3 Recap: Forget Showmance, Try Cringemance

03/21/2014 09:55 EDT | Updated 05/21/2014 05:59 EDT

**NOTE: This recap contains spoilers. Please do not read on unless you want to find out what happened on "Big Brother Canada"!**

There's nothing like a "Big Brother Canada" shakeup, in theory. We, as viewers, got what we wanted -- a close 6-4 vote and the increasingly alienating (and bizarre) Paul out of the house -- but there were very few surprises in last night's episode. Wasn't it obvious that Ika's (HoH)use of Cards would collapse from underneath her, as would her plan to take out Heather?

heather paul big brother canada

First, we get a Diary Room interview from Ika, saying, "My master plan is she's going," and that she hopes the votes are on her side. Then, there's a Girls Alliance pow-wow up in the HoH bedroom, where Neda expresses her uncertainty, and Sarah privately says Heather poses no threat to the First Five alliance (Arlie, Andrew, Kenny, Sarah, Sabrina), which is somehow still intact. Naturally, any savvy reality TV viewer can take this early-in-the-episode reveal to mean that not only will this alliance position likely change, but that Sarah will be the swing vote who flips to break the 5-5 eviction vote tie.

Post-meeting, we're told the votes will fall like this: Arlie, Kenny, Andrew, Jon and Allison will vote to evict Paul, and Sarah, Sabrina, Neda, Adel and Rachelle -- who I keep forgetting is in the house, and I watch the live feeds! -- will vote for Heather.

So, naturally, Ika does what every person in a position of power shouldn't do, and tells Paul that he's not going home. Soon, we find out about Adel's completely bogus secret power, also known as a Veto ticket, which he informs the house is something more. Nobody really buys it, as a skeptical Kenny deduces it's likely just a slop pass. (If there's such a thing as an Overearnestness Award, it should go to Adel. This dude is literally spewing rainbows and sunshine, yet he's pals with Paul? But, I digress.)

After the First Five touches base -- separately, of course -- about their best move, Kenny and Andrew convince Sarah to take the fall and vote for Paul, betraying the already-flimsy Girls Alliance. But that's not before Andrew can get his showmance on with Allison, his requisite makeout buddy. Although, I have to say, this is the least romantic reality TV showmance ever. Sorry, Juan Pablo. Where's the flirting?! Instead, we get some bum groping, with a touch of:

*Kiss*

"You taste like food," says Allison. "What did you eat?!"

"Chicken," says Andrew. "Sorry."

Cringemance.

This, too, came one episode after their "slop breath" open-mouth kiss. Gross. In a similar vein, the "Big Brother Canada" bedroom is trying hard to make "piles of clothes and luggage on the floor" happen. It's disgusting. Surely title sponsor The Brick can spring for a couple of sets of drawers for these houseguests?

But, there is one real showmance in the house, and it's the brother-sister bond between Jon and Neda. They're definitely taking their "BB3" Danielle and Jason-style alliance public, sitting together during the eviction vote, and screaming when Adel tells them Luongo got traded.

More than three weeks in, and the game is finally on. Sayonara, Popping Paul. With Heather still in the house, who knows how she'll rock the boat. Ika's clearly not a fan, as she's quick to point out to Allison what her "real voice" is. Ostracized from the girls, as Heather cluelessly runs around saying, "Are all the girls out here except me? I keep missing your chats!," we're sure to see some power shifts, though hopefully without Canada's influence.

Week 2 Recap

Week 1 Recap

Premiere Review

"Big Brother Canada" Season 2 will continue to air three nights a week on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays at 9 p.m. ET/PT. "The Big Brother Canada Side Show" -- new this season -- will air Thursdays, following each eviction episode, at 10 p.m. ET/PT. In case that isn't enough, "Big Brother After Dark" will air seven days a week from 2 a.m. - 5 a.m. ET/11 p.m. - 2 a.m. PT.

'Big Brother Canada' Season 2 Cast