My secret: I have a fear of failure, and of time running out on my dream.
I live my entire life with a dream in my head. It started when I was young, and a doctor told my family I had leukemia. I knew what it meant, so I made a promise to be a good kid if I could live. I still wanted to fall in love, travel, see the world, and simply be alive. I was the captain of my hockey team, got great marks in school. It wasn't my time, I had so much more to do. If I left the world young, I would have failed.
Here I am at 32 watching a Ted talk, in my living room, near tears because those memories of needles, doctors, and hospitals come back with a vengeance every once in a while. This is one of those moments.
I am alive, I am healthy, and with every fiber of my being I want to inspire people to be everything they can be. I write for hours on blogs, magazines, and anywhere I can get my voice heard. I dream of a TV show where I can help entire neighborhoods get back to healthy, and get back to living outdoors.
My secret again. I feel like I am failing at it. I'm running out of time. All I want to do is earn a living bringing health and wellness to people. I want to inspire change and a passion for health. With that success I want to travel and make memories with someone special.
Some days I feel like that dream is unattainable. Some days fear takes my breath away and I think about quitting everything.
Some days I write a blog post and someone says they have been reading my blog for months and they have lost weight, changed their life and can't believe the energy they have.
My dream is to create a healthy nation One Fit City at a time. To get heard on radio, seen on TV, and read in magazines across North America. I want to collect success stories of people who have changed their lives, and of people who have lived healthy their entire lives. My dream, the one I know I can make come true is to be front and centre as North America regains its health.
I have had my heartbroken following this dream. I have put everything I have into following this dream. I am afraid it will end without a success story, but fear won't stop me. It hasn't yet. I figure if I can get healthy, I can get people to do the same. I am a long way from the pale kid with swollen lymph nodes sitting in a doctor's office contemplating life and death.
Some days I am afraid I will fail, but those days always end.