Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
Josey Vogels

GET UPDATES FROM Josey Vogels
 

Addicted to Porn

Posted: 10/18/11 01:24 PM ET

It's time to face the facts.

I'm a porn addict.

According to at least one popular right-wing, American, anti-porn lobby group, "a person is addicted to pornography when he or she goes back for more."

I've gone back for more, and not always just for research.

Then again, can porn, and/or sex, truly become addictions like drugs or alcohol? Is increased access to porn on the Internet actually creating more porn addicts?

And, if you are a sex or porn addict, is it like alcohol, one quick peek and you're off the wagon? How then could a porn addict survive in a world jammed with sexual imagery? Poke his eyes out?

As someone who has seen a lot of porn (online and elsewhere) and thinks and writes about sex (even has it on occasion), shouldn't all this exposure should have me good and hooked on both by now?

I called Stanton Peele for some answers. Peele, author of the book Love and Addiction, has been studying, thinking, writing and speaking (I wonder if you can become addicted to the subject of addiction) about addictions of all kinds since 1969.

"Like any other addiction, sex can be considered an addiction if the person is harming themselves physically or emotionally," Peele tells me over the phone. "If you masturbate so much that you can't interact with people for example, it's a little dysfunctional. The question you should ask yourself is, 'Are your sexual activities increasing your abilities to get genuinely gratifying sex with another individual on a regular basis or diminishing them?"

I think I'm okay on that front. I still seem to manage some good, emotionally satisfying sex once in awhile, solo or with someone else.

So what about the accessibility argument -- this idea that because porn is so accessible online, it's creating porn addicts. I remember a time when I subscribed to the Game Show Network and was able to watch game shows any time of the day or night and it did get a little ugly.

"It's that age-old question," Peele continues. "Does the fact that porn is more accessible make it easier for those who are susceptible to become hooked? Most of us have been exposed to porn sites by now and we're not all addicted to them. But maybe it's similar to gambling. If you have one-armed bandits in every bar and restaurant, you're going to lure more people into tempting their limits."

So what are you gonna do? Shut down every porn site on the Internet? I'm sure the anti-porn lobbyists would be all for it. Probably not going to happen though.

Which is why Peele has spent years challenging the whole notion of addiction -- to alcohol, drugs, porn or sex -- as a disease, that is, something beyond a person's control, a theory that keeps 12-step organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous (or anything else Anonymous) in business.

"If you go out and tell people that porn addiction is a disease -- that someone is born a sex addict -- and if that if that person is exposed to sex or porn, they won't be able to control themselves, well, how is that going to work?" questions Peele. In his opinion, "It's impossible to avoid sex and sexually-oriented material entirely."

I think even Sexaholics Anonymous struggles with this reality.

In AA, where total abstinence is the goal, some people find that one one drop of alcohol is too much. Sexaholics Anonymous allows its members to have sex but only within a marital relationship.

"I don't know how they come up this idea that you won't lose control as long as you have sex with a husband or wife," laughs Peele. "This is a moralistic value judgment that may not work for everyone or even be an option. And besides, just because you're married to the person doesn't mean the sex is healthy and meaningful."

That's not to say there aren't plenty of people wasting way too much time with porn or really messing up their life with their need for sex. But like any other "addiction," I think that it has to do with our own abilities to cope and achieve healthy, interpersonal sexual and emotional relationships.

"It's remarkable how many things human beings do that some people do too much of... to the point that it becomes detrimental and negative," says Peele. "Sex is really just one of a large number of appetite-related activities that we have to learn to deal with moderately to be able to live successfully."

Some of us learn to do this better than others for a whole slew of reasons: our upbringing, our emotional baggage, the speed of our Internet connection.

I don't think wiping out porn would wipe out people's problems achieving genuine intimacy. In fact, maybe the Internet is doing us a favour and bringing our sexual dysfunctions out of the closet so we actually have to face them.

 
It's time to face the facts. I'm a porn addict. According to at least one popular right-wing, American, anti-porn lobby group, "a person is addicted to pornography when he or she goes back for mor...
It's time to face the facts. I'm a porn addict. According to at least one popular right-wing, American, anti-porn lobby group, "a person is addicted to pornography when he or she goes back for mor...
 
 
  • Comments
  • 31
  • Pending Comments
  • 0
  • View FAQ
Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Favorites
Recency  | 
Popularity
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ScreenName05
08:32 PM on 10/23/2011
No being a porn-addict just means you are a white male evangelical christian - the number one porn user group on the web.
08:05 PM on 10/23/2011
If sex is an addiction, how can I get my wife hooked :)
08:04 PM on 10/23/2011
People want sex, pure and simple - always have, always will. The performers are no different than waiters and waitresses, just better paid for work that's a bit more demanding on the body, lol. I'll be glad when we live in a world where the porno-oscars (or whatever they're called) are televised, and our internet searches aren't scrubbed when the "top ten searches" lists are published every year, and people can work in the sex industry for as long as they want and then leave and do something else. That makes a lot more sense than shaming people for being people.
photo
Peter Combs
Amused by the illogical..no, NOT a Republican
06:11 PM on 10/23/2011
Its sex.....its about sex..sexual feelings...what men and women do is NO ones business...60 to 65% of porn is looked at by men and around 40% are now women and growing, thats fine.

It deosn't cause cancer, car crashes, wars, riots, racisicm, an increase in taxes, murder, rape, death...etc...leave it alone..its fine.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Shaun Hensley
The American Experiment has failed
03:35 PM on 10/23/2011
I'm unclear how porn 'prevents' people from having a good sex life, it's more like a fall-back date... or relationship, whatever the case may be.

I do realize a lot of women are jealous of porn, though.
techjockey
Keeping My Gratitude Higher Than My Expectations..
08:09 PM on 10/23/2011
If you look at a lot of porn over a long period of time it can mess up your brain's ability to realize pleasure in a human encounter, & makes it more diffucult to become aroused whilst looking at porn. It causes problems in the prefrontal cortex of the brain that allows you to experience extacy.
photo
solid
Just North of the Center Independent
09:38 PM on 10/23/2011
a lot of porn? Well, that's scientific.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Shaun Hensley
The American Experiment has failed
12:03 AM on 10/24/2011
The point I was raising was about the 'preventing' aspect. A lot of men can't find suitable mates anyway. I don't think porn is preventing them from getting involved.
02:09 PM on 10/23/2011
Thanks for the clear-headed nonjudgmental post. If there were more people writing about porn in this nonjudgmental manner, people might not feel so bad about porn, which would in turn lead to less struggle over it. The more there is struggle, the more one wants that thing struggled against.
01:16 PM on 10/23/2011
I think Mr Peele has it about correct. As long as something is not harmful to yourself or others I do not see the issue as long as it is not obvious that it is deviant, like physical abuse or underage.
06:09 PM on 10/23/2011
Wrong. Porn addiction is extremely harmful to the spouse of the addict. It can destroy marriages, families, lives.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Russg
07:45 PM on 10/23/2011
"As long as something is not harmful to yourself or others"
12:02 PM on 10/23/2011
Sexaholics Anonymous also voted in 1999 to define sexual sobriety as sex within a committed HETEROSEXUAL marriage only.

They got issues.

There are several other 'S' programs - 12-Step programs devoted to sex addiction and related issues. SAA, SCA, SLAA and programs for partners too like COSA. (That's Sex Addicts Anonymous, Sexual Compulsives Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, and COSA just stands for COSA.)

These other programs are self-defined, meaning the member with the help of a sponsor defines their own problem behavior and their own sobriety. Typically a porn addict will decide - no more porn.

While the clinical treatment of sex addiction is moving away from the disease model, there is mounting evidence of physiological addiction in the brain typically caused by early trauma. Sex addiction has been previously termed an impulse control disorder, a process disorder, and an intimacy disorder. Great strides have been made recently to have sex addiction finally recognized by the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) as Hypersexual Disorder.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
karen lyons kalmenson
i poem/paint, sometimes, i ain't
11:34 AM on 10/23/2011
anything in excess is not a good thing. but a little bit of porn is harmless. the sticky paged mags hid under the bed or in the garage are now internetted.
06:18 PM on 10/23/2011
Oh yes, it's completely harmless to degrade women, depict them as property, turn them into objects and portray them as enjoying rape and abuse. Totally harmless, indeed.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MissTake1989
Equal means equal, hypocrites.
06:30 PM on 10/23/2011
What kind of porn are you watching?

Seriously.

Stop projecting.
11:06 AM on 10/23/2011
never heard of anyone dieing from watching to much porn.unless of course they are caught by their wife.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Robert Frank
My last name is FRANK so thats what I am..
09:58 AM on 10/23/2011
do you need any help with research Miss Josey?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MissTake1989
Equal means equal, hypocrites.
07:38 AM on 10/23/2011
Really?

My post about how adults should act like adults and understand that sex is a part of human life instead of feeling shame and guilt for it...not allowed?

Why??
04:00 PM on 10/23/2011
Tell that to religious people. They have severe sexual concepts compared to the the non religious.
05:34 AM on 10/23/2011
For many men, porn is a easier way to get their sexual fix without having to deal with the pressures of engagement/wedding costs, children, pre-nuptial agreeements, joint accounts, the expenses of a relationship and family (home, car, college, healthcare etc) and of course the risk of divorce and the costs associated with it.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Draekia
Open-minded thinker and traveller
07:14 AM on 10/23/2011
And women.
photo
LazarusDurden
To Make A Long Story Short...
07:46 AM on 10/23/2011
Or it could be you just can't get a date on a Friday night... I mean that's never happened to me *shifty eyes* Never... *clears throat*
08:43 AM on 10/23/2011
Honestly these days, I'd rather relax at home on Friday night, get a pizza, and play GTA
10:35 PM on 10/18/2011
An addiction is defined by a physical craving. No matter how much someone watches porn, it can not be considered an addiction.
06:21 PM on 10/23/2011
I attended a gamblers' anonymous meeting once. There were two toothless men taking bets on how long I would stay.
06:01 PM on 10/18/2011
Install a firewall on your computer so you can't watch porn
photo
jf12
Esta vez saldré como las otras y me escaparé.
11:00 PM on 10/18/2011
k9 works well.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Russg
07:47 PM on 10/23/2011
Or accept that it is an activity that one can participate in without harming themself or others then move on.