Traditionally to celebrate Christmas our law firm holds a Secret Santa. This year, it was held during our holiday luncheon, just before we closed the office for the holiday break. As I was shutting down my computer to attend the celebration, my phone rang.
One of my recently divorced clients was having a little legal trouble over his holiday child custody arrangements. I immediately left the office to meet with him. I ended up spending the afternoon negotiating with his ex-wife's lawyer.
When I got back to the office, most of the staff had left and the receptionist handed me my Secret Santa gift. I took it home with me and opened it up on Christmas day. It was a $50 Victoria's Secret gift card. The note read: 'Whatever you choose, you will look great in. John." (Yes I have changed the name.)
John is the newest member to our firm's team of lawyers. He has only been with us for a few months. Like me, he is single. We have shared a couple of coffees and laughed during after-work drinks. We have a lot in common, but I never thought there was anything more brewing between us.
I am very uncomfortable with this gift and especially the note. It is also double the agreed upon amount for the gift exchange. I can't imagine having opened this gift in front of the entire office. I am now dreading heading back to work and seeing my colleague. How should I handle this sticky situation?
Gift giving at the office is generally a sticky situation in itself. For that reason, many companies now have policies that prohibit its practice.
Please allow me for a moment to play devil's advocate and give "John" the benefit of the doubt about his gift choice. He could have genuinely wanted you to treat yourself, innocently thinking that every woman can find something that she likes or needs at VS.
With a more generic note like "Happy holidays!" he might have maintained your professional distance. By doubling the gift amount, he leaves little room for interpretation about his sentiments. The only way to re-establish your professional relationship is to address it with him, one-on-one.
At your earliest convenience, and at a mutually suitable time, meet with John in private. Do not ask for this meeting via email. The added challenge with this situation is that because of the nature of the game, by the end of the Secret Santa, your colleagues were also in the loop as to whom had picked you. Some curious colleagues will probably inquire about the gift that you received when you return to work. Your strategy should also cover this aspect of the situation.
Your conversation could sound something like this:
''John, I know that you probably meant well but I cannot accept your Secret Santa gift. A gift card from a lingerie store is too personal and it will certainly get the rumour mill started at the office. How about you just exchange it and offer me a $25 Chapters gift card?'No matter what words you choose, you must indicate that you wish to only have a professional relationship with him and return the gift.
I know that this may be difficult to do, but ignoring the situation and not addressing it could lead to an even stickier situation. John could want to know about your purchase or he could have told another colleague about his gift to you. More importantly, think of the uneasiness that you will feel when you interact with him at the office.
This type of situation is not better left unsaid. The sooner you deal with it the sooner you can carry on your professional relationship.
An ideal way to serve water to dinner guests (and use as a vase in a pinch!). <a href="http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/00209311/">Mildra, $8.99, Ikea</a>.
So much classier than plastic, such a lovely piece to keep around for snowy winter days. <a href="http://www.homesense.ca/en/index.asp">Wooden dominos set, $16.99, HomeSense</a>.
This bottle stopper makes a great alternative to boring old cork. It also comes in a pickle version. <a href="http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=24016511&parentid=SHOP_STOCKINGSTUFFERS">Banana Bottle Stopper, $8, Urban Outfitters</a>. .
This gift may not be perfect for everyone, but come on, the social media lover on your list will be extremely happy. <a href="http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/category.jsp?id=SHOP_STOCKINGSTUFFERS&startValue=73"> Like and Dislike Stamps, $14, Urban Outfitters. </a>
This iPad case is made with a rigid foam backing — the perfect accessory for travelling. <a href="http://www.bestbuy.ca/en-CA/product/ifrogz-ifrogz-neofirm-burst-case-for-ipad-marine-ipad-nfb-mrn/10143848.aspx?path=cdbdfa52310ecb833d14c9188c9e6849en02">iFrogz Neofirm Burst Case for iPad, $20, Best Buy. </a>
For the people who love office supplies but can't keep them organized, surprise them with this practical test tube holder. <a href="http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=24979593&parentid=A_ENT_BOOKS_STATIONERY">Test Tube Office Supply Set, $20, Urban Outfitters. </a>
Besides having a beautiful design, these spoons are stoneware and extra sturdy. <a href="http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/home-kitchen/24673519.jsp">Pop-Print Measuring Spoons, $18, Anthropologie.</a>
Take your dog bowling with these interactive rubber pins that also squeak. <a href="http://www.petsmart.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3201360&lmdn=Type&f=PAD%2FpsNotAvailInUS%2FNo">JW Pet iSqueak Bouncin Bowling Pins Dog Toys, $7 to $10, PetSmart.</a>
Everyone loves a cute case when they're pulling out their phone — and at this price, it's easy to switch it up every month or two! <a href="http://www.winners.ca/en/index.asp">Printed iPhone case, $7.99, Winners</a>.
If you need something to keep the Christmas spirit lingering in your kitchen, try this balsam candle by Bath & Body Works. <a href="http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/product/index.jsp?productId=15776146&cp=12586994.12936192.15285206">Fresh Balsam, $15, Bath & Body Works.</a>
How sweet would this set look framed up on a wall? <a href="http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/50209403/">Kort art cards (set of 5), $4.99, Ikea.</a>
This festive and colourful apron has adjustable straps to fit any chef in the kitchen. <a href="http://www.fruits-passion.ca/kitchen-apron/">Kitchen Apron, $8, Fruits & Passion.</a>
Used as centrepieces or candle holders, this set of three will make any space look elegant. <a href="http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/90167439/">Blomster candle holder (set of 3), $19.99, Ikea.</a>
Get cooking and baking with these adorable oven mitts from Canadian Tire. <a href="http://www.canadiantire.ca/AST/browse/8/KitchenBath/3/Textiles/OvenMitts/PRDOVR~0429997P/For+Living+2-Pc+Oven+Mitt+Set%2C+Red+Rooster.jsp?locale=en">Red Rooster Oven Mitt Set, $10, Canadian Tire. </a>
A three-in-one table that lets kids build and play, it also takes up minimal space in your living room (and even better, folds up easily).<a href="http://www.walmart.ca/en/ip/mega-bloks-play-n-go-table/157327?trail=&fromPLP=true&ancestorID=&searchString=&startSearch=&fromSearchBox=&addFacet=">Mega Bloks Play N' Go Table, $18, Walmart</a>.
This is perfect for that friend who always manages to get hurt. Or maybe someone just going through a tough breakup — these bandages would easily put a smile on their face. <a href="http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=17244070&parentid=SHOP_STOCKINGSTUFFERS">Bandages Keep Calm, $8, Urban Outfitters. </a>
Keep your guests full with this four-piece glass appetizer set — ideal for dips or desserts. <a href="http://www.stokesstores.com/en/entertaining/urbain-9-piece-appetizer-set.html">Urbain Appetizer Set, $10, Stokes.</a>
Let the smell of maple syrup waft through anyone's home ... with the help of a yummy candle that will conveniently work with pretty much any decor. <a href="http://www.drakegeneralstore.ca/products/retro-tin-maple-syrup-candle">Retro tin maple syrup candle, $15, Drake General Store</a>.
Remember these? Well if you do, add them back into your life and under your favourite mug. <a href="http://www.modcloth.com/shop/tabletop/nice-save-coaster-set">Nice Save Coaster Set, $12, Mod Cloth. </a>
For running or even just face-washing, this bang-holding headband won't fall down on you. <a href="http://shop.lululemon.com/products/clothes-accessories/women-headbands-and-hats/Bang-Buster-Headband?cc=7356&sli=1">Bang Buster Headband, $14, Lululemon</a>.
For the people you love who love to watch movies and TV on their tablets, this cute stand (which comes in a slew of colours) will be their new favourite accessory. <a href="http://www.futureshop.ca/en-CA/product/podsta-podsta-tablet-stand-holster-2563-12-blue-2563-12/10224643.aspx?path=972d8d36ec3f39eae5169dd9df6f8117en02">PODSTA Tablet Stand Holster, $14.99. Future Shop</a>.
The subtle side of monogramming is on full display with this adorable — and kind of intricate — mug for your hot beverages. <a href="http://www.potterybarn.com/products/alphabet-stoneware-mugs/">Alphabet mug, $13, Pottery Barn</a>.
Even if you're not the type to dress your pet in clothes, your best friend may be — and it does make for a darn cute holiday picture. <a href="http://www.homesense.ca/en/index.asp">Wool handmade dog sweater, $12.99, HomeSense</a>.
Elegance on the dinner table all year round (or at least, for the duration of the winter)? That's the kind of thing that'll get you invited back for holiday dinners. <a href="http://www.westelm.com/products/pinecone-salt-pepper-shaker-e435/?pkey=e%7Cpinecone%7C3%7Cbest%7C0%7C1%7C24%7C%7C3&cm_src=PRODUCTSEARCH||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_-NoMerchRules-_-'">Pinecone salt and pepper shakers, $19, West Elm</a>.
As pretty a filtered water jug as you can imagine (it's clear, that's just a dark background), the Bobble Jug takes water from the tap to the table — and comes in a variety of colours for whatever your recipient's decor may be. <a href="http://www.waterbobble.com/jug/jug-bobble.html">Bobble jug, $19.99</a>.
Sure, socks sound like your boring, everyday Christmas gift, and $20 sounds like a lot of money for a pair — until you try out some of Smartwool's offerings. These least expensive options for adults that wick sweat and cushion your feet come in fun colours that won't only look good hiking, but everyday as well. <a href="http://www.altitude-sports.com/eng/products/womens-clothing/socks/womens-margarita?sw717">Smartwool Women's Margarita, $19.99, Altitude Sports</a>.
The only stocking stuffer that will keep you up all night. <a href="http://www.comeasyouare.com/default/index.cfm/shop/product/Dirty-Dice-Sex-Game/">Dirty Dice, $9, Come As You Are. </a>
Hoot hoot wouldn't want these ceramic owl mugs by artist Gorky Gonzalez? <a href="http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/home-glassware/25989781.jsp">Handpainted Folk Owl Mug, $14, Anthropologie. </a>
This compact portable speaker hooks up to most smartphones, MP3 players and electronic devices. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008RJZIYE/ref=s9_al_bw_g422_ir01?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-3&pf_rd_r=01R1RGMMCPPF8GK6QEV9&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=1436612662&pf_rd_i=172630">Philips SoundShooter Portable Speaker, $17, Amazon.com</a>
The perfect gift for a new mom or dad, this frame can also be customized with your little one's name. <a href="http://www.sears.ca/product/watch-me-grow-personalization-photo-frame/632-000896837-4086-4">Watch Me Grow Personalization Photo Frame, $20, Sears. </a>
Let your kids express themselves this holiday season by writing on the <em>coolest</em> canvas mother nature has to offer. <a href="http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/toys/Sno-Marker-colours-vary/026608083214-item.html">Sno Markers, $7, Indigo/Chapters. </a>
Give your child a New Year's goal: Remember ever single animal's name in this jar. <a href="http://www.sears.ca/product/jungle-animal-set/616-38809-38809">Animal Jungle Set, $10, Sears. </a>
Just think — if your friend ever runs out of mixer for the drinks, all she has to do is snag out of these ornaments from the tree, and voila! Comes in Apple, Cranberry, Blueberry and Pomegranate. <a href="http://www1.shoppersdrugmart.ca/en/Home.aspx">Coastal Cocktails Holiday Ornaments Martini Mixers, $9.99, Shoppers Drug Mart</a>.
120 sexy lottery tickets that can fit into your lover's stocking — or pocket. <a href="http://www.comeasyouare.com/default/index.cfm/shop/product/Kinky-Sex-Scratchers/">Kinky Sex Scratchers, $14, Come As You Are. </a>
Not only great for travelling, but also for those whose partners head to bed first (and are somewhat sensitive to light), this travel book light could very well be a relationship saver. <a href="http://www.mec.ca/AST/ShopMEC/Electronics/PRD~5023-329/lewis-n.-clark-travel-book-light.jsp">Lewis N. Clark Travel Book Light, $9, Mountain Equipment Co-op</a>.
Keep your eggs warm (and your tables festive) with these adorable penguin covers. <a href="http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/gifts/Penguin-Egg-Cozy-Set-2/882709079590-item.html?ikwid=egg+cozy&ikwsec=Toys">Penguin Egg Cozy Set, $15, Indigo/Chapters.</a>
Go back to your college and university years with this drinking game set that includes four shot glasses and drinking games. <a href="http://www.arentwenaughty.com/adult-novelties/adult-games/drink-till-you-drop-game-coffin-p1668.aspx">Drink Till You Drop Game, $18, Aren't We Naughty. </a>
For the outdoor and drink lovers, this metal bottle opener is perfect for any home bar or cocktail cart. <a href="http://www.modcloth.com/shop/kitchen-gadgets/wise-guise-bottle-opener">Wise Guise Bottle Opener, $13, Mod Cloth. </a>
If you have someone on your list who constantly is buying a cup of coffee in the morning, get them in the habit of making it at home. <a href="http://shop.timhortons.com/Catalogue/Details.aspx?categoryId=17&productId=53">Sweet Treat, $15, Tim Hortons. </a>
Who couldn't use some sleep aids around the holidays? This combination of hand soap and lotion (in a super pretty caddy) come in a fragrance to help soothe your recipient's mind and send them off to dreamland. <a href="http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/product/index.jsp?productId=13136314&cm_vc=200">Aromatherapy Soap & Lotion Caddy in Sleep: Lavender Vanilla, $18.50, Bath & Body Works</a>.
If anyone on your gift list hasn't tried out a scrub mitt, now's the time to change their world (for cheap!). Helping with circulation, exfoliation and general stimulation, it's great for flaky winter skin. <a href="http://bodyblitzspa.com/index.php/shop-online/scrub-mitt.html">Scrub mitt, $10, Body Blitz</a>.
Not only fun for those who want to escape to the kitchen during holiday parties but good times for the whole, this fridge magnet Scrabble game is fabulous for the wordsmith in your life. <a href="http://www.drakegeneralstore.ca/products/scrabble-fridge-magnets">Scrabble fridge magnets, $15, Drake General Store</a>.
A toy for every day of the week (plus two more) means your kidlet will be clamouring to get into the tub. <a href="http://www.marshallscanada.ca/en/index.asp">Infant rubber tub toys, $12.99, Marshalls</a>.
For the book lovers in your life — or even the students in need of some prettiness for studying — a customizable bookmark is great to tuck in with their gifts. <a href="http://www.potterybarn.com/products/tassled-metal-bookmark/?pkey=e%7Cbookmark%7C1%7Cbest%7C0%7C1%7C24%7C%7C1&cm_src=PRODUCTSEARCH||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_-NoMerchRules-_-">Engravable bookmark, $9, Pottery Barn</a>.
Celebrity chef Mario Batali has created this stovetop machine for those who want to have their own cup of espresso at home. <a href="http://www.kitchenstuffplus.com/10348-Mario-Batali-Stovetop-Espresso-Maker.aspx">Mario Batali Stovetop Espresso Maker, $10, Kitchen Stuff Plus.</a>
Suitable for both the kitty and puppy in your life, these bowls are easy to remove for feeding and dishwasher safe. <a href="http://www.petsmart.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12836627&f=PAD%2FpsNotAvailInUS%2FNo">Platinum Pets Cat Double Diner, $20, PetSmart.</a>
The perfect accessory for anyone who loves maps or tiny print (or heck, just wants to look cool), this weighty magnifying glass is a gorgeous office supply addition. <a href="http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/gifts/Flip-Handle-Magnifying-Glass-Nickel/882709071532-item.html?ikwid=magnifying+glass&ikwsec=Home">Flip handle magnifying glass, $19.50, Indigo</a>.
Oh yes, that superhero-loving friend of yours will be proud to display this on their desk. <a href="http://www.futureshop.ca/en-CA/product/dc-comics-dc-comics-batman-vinyl-figure-2201/10167927.aspx?path=acae92a91f584d360cbf76f38ce3a388en02">DC Comics Batman Vinyl Figure, $14.99, Future Shop</a>.
A handy pouch that's more durable than it looks, this nylon case can carry your tablet, along with your phone and some money, for the minimalists in your life. <a href="http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=246274&locale=en_US&kwid=1&sem=false&sdReferer=http%3A%2F%2F">Nylon tablet case, $19.94, Gap</a>.
You know that weird skin that develops on dips and sauces after it sits out for a while? Well, this mini food warmer will ensure that doesn't happen — and that your host's spinach dip will be forever delicious. <a href="http://hamiltonbeach.ca/hb_detail.php?item=33101">Party Dipper Food Warmer, $14.99, Hamilton Beach</a>.
For the accident prone people in your life who can't help but buy nice things anyway, this case will be a protector, and yes, even a prop. <a href="http://www.bestbuy.ca/en-CA/product/ideal-case-ideal-case-bullet-iphone-5-case-id1853wht-white-id1853wht/10221740.aspx">Ideal Case Bullet iPhone 5 Case, $19.99, Best Buy</a>.
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