They will be there, Allah's soldiers. They will visit us, the Islamic fanatics. We, the lost ones of the West, need their blessing. Upon invitation from the Collectif Indépendence, sponsored by the charitable organization HCI (Human Concern International), they will come from Europe to save us from hell. They want to cleanse us of our sacrileges. They want to show us the right path, we the perverts, the debauched, the libertines, the egotists, the impious, the miscreants. They will preach on September 7th and 8th at the Palais des congrès in Montreal. They will preach the revealed Word, denouncing the Crusades and blaming our women. And they will do so in two languages, Arabic and French. Yes, they'll use the language of l'Homme rapaillé to try and reach the lost children of Quebec. They will offer us the recipe for a ticket to paradise. So run out to hear what they have to say, my Quebecois brothers and sisters. Reserve your seats early, because there's sure to be a crowd at the Palais des congrès. It will be full of the gullible and the fanatical. There will be the curious and the bearded, students, the unemployed, the crazy, and the lonely.
Run! The young Nader Abou Anas and Farid Mounir are waiting anxiously for you. They will tell you some beautiful fables that will make you laugh and cry. Ah, those young kids will be charming. Beards combed in Afghan style, chechias welded to their heads, they will admonish you, O free women of Quebec, to wear the veil. They will speak to you under the watchful eye of their elder, Mohamed Patel, a sharia scholar. You will be seduced by the white, flowing beard of this shiek, this member of the Fatwa Council of the Centre Islamique de la Réunion. He will tell you how to eat halal. He will speak to you about the virtuous family, of putting your finances in the service of God, and will show you the treasures of Islamic science. He will introduce brother Mohamed François, an odd convert from Indre-et-Loire, who will explain how to fear Allah and how to impose the burka on the women of the Belle Province.
So run out and reserve your tickets. You won't regret it, my friends. You will contribute to the Islamification of the world and you will earn hassanats (money in the hereafter). Each ticket sold means $20 more for the Ummah's (the Muslim community's) coffers. And you won't be disappointed: Your sins will be washed away and your soul purified.
At Montreal's Palais des congrès, our devout preachers will ask you to obey, O free women of Quebec. They will forbid you to go out and party and to drink a beer on a cafe terrace. They will tell you that life down here is fleeting and that real life is elsewhere, in the hereafter.
Put away your jewelry, your perfume, your makeup containers, your pants, and your mini-skirts. Cover your bodies from head to toe, obey your spouses, and cry out that Allah is great.
As for you, free men of Quebec, our pious preachers will ask you not to dance, not to sing, not to play the guitar or the piano. They will convince you that music is the work of the devil. They will tell you that it corrupts the heart and the mind.
So forget about Céline Dion and Félix Leclerc, break your pens, burn your libraries, destroy your theatres, snuff out your lanterns and let the fanatics of Allah glorify death and the last judgment.
Run to the Palais des congrès, O free women and men of Quebec. Our venerable sheiks will sell you on backworlds where there will be virgins and rivers of wine.
But as for me, who saw this type of enlightened preaching in the stadiums and streets of Algeria in the early 1990s, which led to over 200,000 deaths and infinite suffering, how could I keep silent?
Today, I want to stand with all my strength against the laxity of the Canadian authorities; I totally embrace the Charter of Quebec Values.
We must get rid of religion in the political sphere.
Islamism is like couch grass: It feeds on cultures.
ALSO ON HUFFPOST: