Learning when to say "no" can be the greatest gift in your life. Because when you say "yes" to people or projects in order to not lose respect in people's eyes, what you do is lose respect for yourself. It's much too high a price to pay for voluntarily cutting the throat of your self-respect open, isn't?
Here are a few very effective ways to introduce and integrate healthy boundaries into your life. These strategies have transformed my life and the life of many of my clients. If you follow through with just one of them, I guarantee you'll start feeling lighter than air.
Trust and believe in yourself and your ability to make good decisions.
When you notice that someone made a decision for you or talked on your behalf, take some time to reflect on it. Ask yourself these questions:
- "Will taking on this project be a pleasure and growth opportunity for me?"
- "Will spending time with this person enrich my life?"
Then make a decision and trust that you deserve making this decision.
Join a relationship and self-love mastermind
A Mastermind for your intimate relationship and intimacy is vital. It will help you stay in alignment with your boundaries. When you surround yourself with people who don't believe in passion in love, or worse -- believe in it but do nothing about, or never had a taste of it -- you are priming yourself with the beliefs, actions and thoughts that would pull you down on your journey of establishing a meaningful relationship and healthy boundaries in life. Contact me about my upcoming mastermind.
Check-in with your inner spiritual computer.
This small exercise will give you a road map of awareness for you to know when to stop and go within yourself to see if your boundaries have been crossed by you or others. This checklist is for you to gain self-awareness of a moment when you are crossing a boundary before it's crossed.
Write down a list of answers to the following three questions.
- How do you feel when you are around somebody (or invested in a business venture) who sucks the energy out of you?
- What do you feel in your body when you are involved in a business or interacting with a person who drains you?
- What thoughts do you experience when you are engaged in a relationship or event that drains you?
When you find yourself being blown away by the wind of help, meaning you meddle into other people's problems with a sincere intention to help them. It leaves you depleted, and often you don't bring the best version of yourself to your intimate relationship.
Try visualization: Imagine you are a tree trunk and you have leaves around you. You feel so centred and connected with the ground that your roots penetrate to the centre of the earth. When the wind blows, your limbs tremble in panic, but your trunk is so stable that it barely moves.
Meditation or mantra are another way to ground yourself throughout the day. It helps me personally to wind down before and after speaking engagements or business meetings.
Gratitude exercise is a must for me before I get up in the morning and go to bed. When life is great and the universe sends you opportunities, it's easy to be grateful. What about when challenges enter, how grateful do you remain? Do you tend to focus on obstacles and what you don't have?
When you believe in the false story that you are not in control of your life and your emotions, you let lies impregnate your mind. To break free from this fantasy, get to know the triggers that you allow to push you beyond your healthy boundaries. In this video, I help you overcome the fear of not being good enough.em
Notice what events, people, places or projects that tend to drain you. What do they have in common? As now that you are aware of these common characteristics, let's develop a plan to deal with them. Because it's impossible to avoid all the people, business meetings, or trips that drain you. And if anyone tells you otherwise, they aren't being truthful to say the least.
Breath of safety. Next time you find yourself in the situation, imagine yourself breathing in and out an energy of safety, comfort and guidance. There is no need to seek happiness because it's in you.
Love message. The most powerful of all strategies is to send people love because life supports what supports more of life.
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