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Kate Hilton


Mission Impossible: Family Dinner at My House

Posted: 09/27/2013 8:11 am

Anyone who thinks that January marks the beginning of the new year doesn't have school-age children. Parents understand that September is the month of fresh starts, clean slates and ambitious resolutions. The perfect time, I say, for tackling family dinner.

My kids are the worst eaters. Really. Some people say this, and mean that their kids don't eat raw sushi, or whole wheat pasta, or offal. That's not what I mean. I mean that in my house, bacon is a food group. I mean that my kids don't eat pasta, period. I mean that they only accept pepperoni pizza from one delivery joint. It's serious.

These days, it's pretty shameful to have kids who are lousy eaters. Everywhere you turn writers, chefs, politicians and even actors (who really shouldn't be telling anyone else how to raise their children) are extolling the virtues of family dinner. Unfortunate parents who mention their plight in public are inundated with tales of wildly successful people whose families ate dinner together every night, recipes for lentil cupcakes and chocolate-sweet potato brownies, and pity. One acquaintance informed me that family dinner was responsible for her daughter's admission to Harvard. Harvard!

I feel this shame keenly because I'm an avowed foodie and reasonably serious home cook. (You see how I dropped that in there? I don't want you to think my kids don't eat because I don't know my kohlrabi from my kale.) Also, I grew up eating family dinner. It was one of the foundational rituals of my childhood. But my mom was home and my dad had a job where he could leave at 5:30 every night. In my adult household, both parents work at demanding jobs, and one of us often has a business-related commitment in the evening. It's a rare night when all of us are home by 6:30, which is the latest time our two boys can eat without careening off the bad-behaviour cliff.

I'm trying. A friend sent me Laurie David's excellent cookbook, The Family Dinner, and I set it in front of my boys. "I'll cook anything in here," I said. We agreed on chicken schnitzel, because it looked in the photo like a giant chicken finger.

Last night, I rushed home and pulled out the ingredients. My younger son, realizing that the recipe called for four eggs, insisted on cracking them by himself. I was happy to agree, since every proponent of family dinner agrees that getting children involved in dinner preparation is critical to the overall success of the program.

The doorbell rang. It was the piano teacher, arriving for the lesson I'd forgotten. I asked my son if I could crack the eggs without him. Tears ensued, followed by promises to delay the dinner preparation. The doorbell rang again. This time it was the furnace repairman, coming to check on an alarming oily discharge from the venting stack. He disappeared down to the basement, re-emerging a few minutes later to shut down the hot water tank due to leaking carbon monoxide.

Still, I persisted. The piano teacher departed, and my younger son got involved cracking eggs, picking out the shells, breading chicken breasts and cutting the ends off beans. My husband came home and went down to the basement to check on the repairs. I started frying and boiling things. My husband returned upstairs to report that we had a raccoon nest in our chimney and the heating system was being deactivated for the night.

At 7:30, we sat down to eat. My younger son declared that the chicken "smelled funny" and refused to allow any of it past his lips. My older son declared the meal "so-so" and ate approximately five bites. My husband quietly observed that 7:30 was too late for the children to eat. I did not lead the family in a stimulating conversation about current events (although if you want to do that, The Huffington Post provides inspirational topics that may be of use to you; the most recent suggestion is 'Solar Panels at the White House').

Tonight I called home from the office. My older son answered. "When are you coming home?" he asked.

"Soon," I said. "Why?"

"I think you should go out for dinner," he said.

Loading Slideshow...
  • 17 Percent Of Children And Adolescents Are Obese

    According to the Center For Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/17/childhood-obesity-linked-health-problems_n_2497054.html" target="_blank">17% (or 12.5 million) of kids and adolescents aged 2 - 19</a> years in the United States are now obese.

  • Obesity Rates Among Kids Ages 2-5 Have Doubled In 30 Years

    <a href="http://www.letsmove.gov/sites/letsmove.gov/files/Let_s_Move_Child_Care_Fact_Sheet.pdf" target="_blank">The rate</a> among this age group <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hestat/obesity_child_07_08/obesity_child_07_08.htm" target="_blank">increased</a> from 5% to 10.4% in 1976-1980 and 2007-2008.

  • One In Five Kids Is Overweight By Age 6

    <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/obesity/facts.htm" target="_blank">Obese kids are more likely to also be obese as adults</a>, which <a href="http://www.letsmove.gov/sites/letsmove.gov/files/Let_s_Move_Child_Care_Fact_Sheet.pdf" target="_blank">puts them at risk</a> for heart disease, diabetes, and more adult health problems.

  • Over Half Of Obese Children First Become Overweight By Age 2

    These kids are even <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/obesity/facts.htm" target="_blank">more likely</a> to <a href="http://www.letsmove.gov/sites/letsmove.gov/files/Let_s_Move_Child_Care_Fact_Sheet.pdf" target="_blank">become obese adults</a>.

  • The Childhood Obesity Rate Has Almost Tripled Since 1980

    <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hestat/obesity_child_07_08/obesity_child_07_08.htm" target="_blank">CDC data</a> shows that there was an increase in the pervasiveness of obesity in the American population between 1976-1980 and then again from 1999-2000, the prevalence of obesity increased.

  • One In Seven Low-Income Preschoolers Is Obese

    Obesity in <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/media/pressrel/2009/r090723.htm" target="_blank">low-income 2- to 4-year-olds</a> rose from 12.4% of the population in 1998 to 14.5% in 2003 but increased to 14.6% in 2008.

  • Less Than Half Of Preschoolers Consume Two Daily Servings Of Fruit

    And only 25% of kids in this age group get the recommended three daily serving of vegetables. One way to make sure your child gets the <a href="http://www.letsmove.gov/sites/letsmove.gov/files/Let_s_Move_Child_Care_Fact_Sheet.pdf" target="_blank">amount of fruit and vegetables that they need</a> is to serve them at every meal.

  • One-Third Of High School Students Get The Recommended Amount Of Exercise

    <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/physicalactivity/facts.htm" target="_blank">In 2011, only 29% of high-schoolers</a> in a survey participated in 60 minutes of physical activity each day, which is the amount recommended by the CDC. <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/physicalactivity/everyone/guidelines/children.html" target="_blank">It’s best for kids to get three different types of exercise</a>: aerobic activity, like walking or running, muscle strengthening activities like push-ups or pull-ups and bone strengthening activities like jumping rope.

  • Childhood Obesity Is Linked To A Wide Range Of Health Problems

    High blood pressure, diabetes and other cardiovascular issues have been previously tied to obesity. But <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/17/childhood-obesity-linked-health-problems_n_2497054.html?utm_hp_ref=childhood-obesity" target="_blank">a 2013 study</a> found that obesity also puts kids at risk for other health issues such as ADHD, allergies and ear infections.

  • The Food Industry Spends Over $1.6 Billion To Market To Kids Each Year

    This<a href="http://www.ftc.gov/os/2008/07/P064504foodmktingreport.pdf" target="_blank"> number was documented by the FTC in 2008</a>.<a href="http://www.apa.org/topics/kids-media/food.aspx" target="_blank"> According to the APA</a>, there are strong associations between the increase in junk food advertising to kids and the climbing rate of childhood obesity.

  • Related Links

    <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/17/childhood-obesity-linked-health-problems_n_2497054.html" target="_blank">Childhood Obesity Linked To Wide Range Of Health Problems </a> <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/09/healthy-weight-kids-strict-lunch_n_3045355.html?utm_hp_ref=childhood-obesity" target="_blank">Healthy Weight In Kids Tied To Strict School Lunch Standards </a> <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/28/kids-meals-fail-nutrition-test_n_2969810.html?utm_hp_ref=childhood-obesity" target="_blank">Kids' Meals At Major Chains Fail Nutrition Test</a>


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