Another year gone by, another year filled with annoying parenting trends. Here are some fads I'd like to see disappear by the end of 2013:
1) Trophies for all: This one has been around for a while. We are raising our kids in a generation of "everybody wins and nobody loses" and what this does is make losers of us all. Without experiencing losing, kids don't know how thrilling it really is to bring home a coveted trophy or medal. They don't give out Participation Medals at the Olympics; let's stop giving our kids trophies for simply turning up. Think of the money, gold coloured plastic, and particleboard that could be saved.
2) Snacks at every event: From visiting the local park to half-time at a pre-school soccer game, apparently we've decided our children can not a) be hungry at any point or b) be expected to not have a snack every half an hour that c) parents must carry with them at all times. Recess snacks? Snack break at a playdate? End the madness, please.
3) Ramping up holiday time: Kids used to send Valentine's cards to only kids they actually liked. Strange concept compared to today when kids have to send in cards to everyone in the class, and half of them come with candies, stickers, or pencils attached. Then there's the mom who brings in (more!) snacks to the class on her child's birthday. Let's lower that bar (and cost, and calorie count) just a bit, OK?
4) Food Deception: This trend continues to be popular as parents everywhere hide kale, quinoa, broccoli and other healthy foods inside sauces, stews and other mixed dishes. Of course it's great to feed kids nutritious food, but they should also appreciate and learn about what they are eating so that they can make informed decisions once they leave home. One day they'll have decide what to pick for themselves or (gasp) make their own lunch.
5) Kid-Tatorship: In many households, the kid is running the show when it comes to what they eat, when they eat, when they go to bed, what activities they choose to do, and even where to go on vacation. It's not all about the kids, kids. Remember that parents are people too and make sure you're not sacrificing all of your wants for theirs.
Originally run in the Metro News.
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No TV in English
“She [Apple] is cross because I only let them watch TV in French or Spanish. When I’m in Paris, I go to Boulevard Beaumarchais and buy all their cartoons," Gwyneth <a href="http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/gwyneth-paltrow-no-more-children-babies-working-mum-cant-have-it-all-125611877.html">told UK's InStyle</a>.
You Can't Have It All
“Some women can do it and that’s fantastic, but I can’t. You make choices as a wife and mother, don’t you? You can’t have it all. I don’t care what it looks like," she said in the same interview.
Morning Flax
"We got downstairs and I made him a quick breakfast of eggs and toast followed by a spoonful of lemon flavored flax oil that I try to remember to give them both every morning," she <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/13/gwyneth-paltrow-gives-adv_n_808446.html">wrote on GOOP</a> last year.
It's All About Balance
Another <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/13/gwyneth-paltrow-gives-adv_n_808446.html">GOOP tip</a>: "The kids indulge in a super sugary cupcake before bed but I don’t feel too bad because they had a brown rice stir fry for dinner with baked sweet potato on the side. It’s all about balance!"
Prepare the Next Day's Uniforms and Ballet Kit
"I always <a href="http://goop.com/journal/see/112/a-day-in-the-life">lay the kids' uniforms</a> and school things out the night before once they are asleep. When it’s quiet I can check the 'kid list' for show and tell items to bring in, consent forms, ballet kit, etc, so that the morning is less of a scramble."
Time Take For the Beauty Salon
"I'll probably get kicked out of our school for admitting this, but I let Apple stay home yesterday. I just needed to be with her," Gwyneth <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/19/gwyneth-paltrow-in-good-h_n_811152.html">told Good Housekeeping</a> last year. "We went out to lunch, we went to the beauty salon, we were together."
Be Mindful
"Motherhood has taught me mindfulness. If you just parent on instinct, you'll screw your kid up for life. You have to be so mindful," she said in that interview.
Get in the Bathtub
"We all get into the tub together," she<a href="http://www.harpersbazaar.com/magazine/cover/gwyneth-paltrow-interview-0312#slide-1"> told Harper's Bazaar</a>.
Let Them Suffer
“When I’m tired, when my chips are down – that’s when I don’t parent the way that I want to parent. I can get impatient and at the end of my rope…. And I hate that and I hate feeling out of control, even if I’m just saying, 'That’s enough!' Like, I can’t deal. It’s not the way that I would aspire to be. But then I think, I do really believe that part of our job is to equip them for the world. And we can’t make everything okay for them, we can’t take away all of their suffering. It’s not good for them," she said on <a href="http://blogs.babycenter.com/celebrities/06232012-gwyneth-paltrow-talks-parenting-fails-s-e-x/"><em>In Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet</em></a>.
Work Out
"Every woman can make time — every woman — and you can do it with your baby in the room," she <a href="http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20603375_5,00.html">said in 2010</a>. "There have been countless times where I've worked out with my kids crawling around all over the place. You just make it work, and if it's important to you, it'll be important to them."
Don't Feel Like a Terrible Mother
"I do feel so guilty and, like, <em>What am I doing?</em> but I also want them to know work is really fun for me — 'Hey, look what I get to do!' As opposed to feeling like, <em>Oh, I'm a terrible mother</em>. Because that really just doesn't get you anywhere. It doesn't get them anywhere,'" she told Good Housekeeping.
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I challenge those who rage against participation ribbons to consider what they want to teach their children. By arguing that giving other kids participation ribbons diminishes the thrill of the winner, you are telling your kids that having something is only valuable if others don’t have it. That there can’t be winners without losers. I also ask parents to consider what contributes to athletic ability and whether the child has control over those factors. My handing out participation ribbons, tells the kids who didn’t win that winning is not the be all and end all, as long as they showed up and played hard. In the end it’s not my goal to find the best athlete out of all my students. My goal is to find the best athlete in each of my students.
3. Kids who play private sports have an advantage. Private sports are expensive. That’s the whole point of school sponsored extra-curricular sports. That’s why I take time out of my day to run them. Because every child, no matter their parents’ income, should get the chance to participate in sports. Why should the kid who doesn’t have the opportunity to develop their skills through private sports be told through a lack of ribbon that no matter how often they show up for practice or how hard they work, those who have more, will likely get more ribbons.
cont...
I am a teacher who believes in handing out participation ribbons. Here's why:
1. If you’re hungry, chances are you won’t run very fast. A lot of parents come to me with the argument that in giving the kid ‘who just shows up’ a participation ribbon, I’m devaluing the competitive nature of sports. But this parent doesn’t know what I know. I know that the only thing this kid has eaten today is the bowl of cheerios I gave him when he got to school. I also know that he shared a box of macaroni and cheese with his three siblings for dinner last night. This kid doesn’t need a lesson in winning and losing. He’s already getting the message that he’s losing loud and clear. He sees it in the new clothes of the other kids, their tales of family vacations, their filling lunches and snacks. This kid needs someone to hand him a ribbon that tells him that his ‘showing up’ made the team stronger and the game better.
cont...
Is this how 'picky eaters' are created? They snack all day, no wonder they don't want to eat come mealtime...
Why teach children to become competitive which may lead to corruption?. Aren't those the qualities in society we want to eliminate? Lance Armstrong just admitted to doping, because he wanted to do anything he could to win. Is that what we want to teach our children? Either your a winner or you're nothing? And to become a winner, you have to do everything in your power, even if it comes down to cheating, and being extremely sneaky so you don't risk getting caught?
Teaching kids we're all winners, doesn't say we're all losers. It teaches them that they can all participate and have a fun time, not that the one kid whose the most athletic get's all the glory, and the rest of us suck it up and move on knowing we're not good enough.
Blending food like rice and broccoli is bad? A proper snack should blend as many nutrients as possible, don't let over-thinking get in the way of having the healthiest body for your child.