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Notes From Tea Time with Kami

12/04/2013 05:20 EST | Updated 02/03/2014 05:59 EST

There's something so liberating about being in the presence of someone who confidently accepts who she is and the company she is in with no judgment or requirements other than just be who you are.

Twenty or so years ago during my freshman year I met a young lady who happened to live on the same residence floor. She was and still is one of the most beautiful and kind people I know. Living in different countries does not afford us the opportunity to get together for Sister-Saturdays to sip tea and plough through my thoughts, but like any other time she shows up with nuggets of wisdom via texts and our once a year tea time which prove to be thought-altering.

What's so refreshing is that this is all communicated in a non-preachy or overly deep exchange. It really is just sitting down and e-chatting with a friend. At the top of the list for me is how she lives her life with such integrity. Hearing and seeing her walk her talk allows you to catch a glimpse of someone who is in love with all aspects of life, even the parts that are not exactly the way they would like them to be.

A few take-aways from the power messages she has shared in the last little while:

1 - Have the desire, put it out into the universe and let it go. No need to hang on to it and try to control it or manipulate the outcome. It will come full circle in its own time. When we hold on to things -- anything -- we stifle the growth of it.

2 - To love others and ourselves unconditionally is to love them as is, with no requirements stated or expected. "I Love You if..." carries with it terms and conditions. Love is liberating.

3 - No one owes you anything. Not the truth, not reciprocated feelings, nada. You can hope that your relationship with that person is the breeding ground for truth to reveal itself, but should that not happen and lies are exchanged, in the height of anger release it from turning to bitterness by remembering that no one owes you anything.

4 - Whatever consumes you controls you. When we say we're angry, what is at the root of what we're feeling? Process through those emotions and allow yourself time to heal and grow. Whatever you do don't stay in the place of hurt.

5 - Listening means while someone else is speaking they have your full attention: open ears and an open heart to give their words and non-verbal communication a chance to be understood without rocket filled responses waiting to be launched. When we spend time readying ourselves for the comeback, we miss the real message that is being communicated leading to even more miscommunication.

6 - Regardless of what's not going as planned in your world, focus on being grateful every day for at least one thing.

7 - Should something beautiful in the world catch your eye, let it be known. Resist the urge to go into overdrive by focusing on the final outcome, what they will think or anything beyond the moment. Life really is meant to be pretty simple.

8 - We were not put on this earth to criticize others or 'fix' them, just to love them. There is something 'rich' that will be exchanged when we are open to receiving that which is different from our own thinking.

9 - Life is always giving us exactly what we need. We may miss it at times because we're very connected to what we ultimately want from life. Every step is beautiful.

10 - Regardless of what has happened or will happen, you will be okay. It is okay to not always know. Trust life to be kind to you and it will be.

11 - Reward your thoughts with at least 15 minutes of quiet time each day. It does wonders.

12 - When you fall short, don't beat yourself up. It's just another sandbox along the road to discovery.

**Bonus: Life continues to allow me to know this beautiful soul as a dear friend.

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