That's me up there. Circa 1984?
I think we all have at least one area in our life that we truly want to change for the better. One specific habit, an old repetitive and never-ending problem, that we so desire to resolve once and for all, but we are just too frightened to do the work, be the change, and witness that huge paradigm shift. I know I do.
Just yesterday, whilst walking home from Whole Foods, I decided to have a conversation with myself about just that problem of mine. I had recently read an article about why it is so damn hard for us to make positive changes in the most important areas of our lives when we know exactly what it is we need to do in order to do it.
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Consider taking a break by going on a retreat or traveling somewhere new. Being away from the content of your everyday life helps you get out of the rut and gives you space to clear your mind. New faces and fresh experiences do wonders for gaining perspective. Take time to drop in, reflect and enjoy yourself.
This is not to be confused with retail therapy or maxing out your credit card. This is about practicing true self-care. What experiences would allow you to feel greater self-love and nurturing? It could be a massage or a lazy afternoon at the beach. What feels most healthful and loving for you right now?
Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine what your life would look like 10 years from now, 20 years from now? What would it look like if you had stayed on the same path? Notice how you feel. Does it give you a sense of happiness, excitement or peace?
During life changes, it's important to surround yourself with pure-hearted spirits who will genuinely support you in your path. This includes yourself and your own self-talk. If you were your own best friend, what would you tell yourself? Would you berate him or her, or offer words of encouragement?
Nature is the ultimate healer. It has a rhythm of it's own that is deeply nurturing. Take long walks. Take your shoes off and lie down on the ground. Let yourself be alone in nature. Notice what you observe through nature, how you feel and what arises in your consciousness.
Allowing yourself to enjoy and receive pleasure in life creates new pathways for openings and inspiration. It elevates your mood and energy, giving you greater perspective on what happened and what's possible. It frees up stuck energy.
From 1,000 feet above, imagine taking a snapshot of your past/present/future in all directions. What are the pathways and patterns you notice about the direction your life has taken? Look at your whole life as though you were watching a movie, staying detached and neutral. What would you tell yourself 300 years from now about your life situation? Is it terribly serious?
Take time to be quiet and meditative. Open yourself to receiving any guidance or new information about your life. Simply having the intention to be open to receiving guidance can often set off a new stream of experiences naturally leading you to your next steps. Trust in the process of life. Trust what feels right in your heart.
When we're under great amounts of stress, it's easy to fall of the bandwagon, stop exercising and eat heavier foods. This can throw us off balance. Staying healthy can help us make the right decisions. Notice exercise sounds a lot like "exorcise." Moving can help us purge our tension and inner demons. Being healthy keeps us in flow.
When you're going through major life changes, being alone may be the last thing you really want to do. Often times we want to fill up empty space we feel with TV or an overly-chatty friend. Being around too many people and ideas can drown out the still, inner voice that resides within you when you are quiet. Solitude gives you the space and clarity to see what's really true for you.
The piece stated that quite often it is simply an issue of our "child-like" selves resisting the ideas for change brought on by our "adult" selves, and thus sabotaging all of our efforts. The article went on to say that the first step in making massive transformation in our lives is to simply have a conversation with our kid-self. Say hello, greet that youthful you in a welcoming way, and then use this internal chit-chat to begin distilling the FEAR that the child self feels about the change in question.
It is also important to clearly express that our child-self need not worry, that our grown-up self promises to take care and ensure protection and safety while shifting into this new way of thinking and doing.
So yes, I talked to myself. Out loud I might add. I must have looked mildly of a crazy person walking through Rosedale muttering words of encouragement under my breath to my mini-me. But I did feel better after the "talk." I felt lighter. Calmer. Total placebo effect? Maybe. But who cares? Shifting perception equals a shifted reality, after all.
So today I suggest to you, please sit down, take a breath, and say hello to your kid-self and give him or her a hug. Have a conversation and see what transpires. You just might be surprised.
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