Before becoming a mom I didn't even know there were "mom groups." I don't mean the groups you can find on Facebook or at your local community centre. I mean the divide between stay-at-home moms (SAHM) and working moms.
This got me thinking...How are my relationships with my working-mom friends? Was it different? Was I treated differently as a SAHM? Did I treat them differently?
The answer was simple!
Nothing changed in our friendships because of our "work status" and some of my relationships grew even stronger.
One of my working mom friends is actually one of my best friends. I treasure the relationship that we have with one another. We don't see each other all the time as life does get busy for both of us. But we do schedule "girl days." These are my favourite days as it gives us the opportunity to just be us. So not the "mom us," "working mom," or "SAHM. We are just ourselves and we just talk about everything and anything. Of course we do end up talking about our kids (have to admit that kid stories are always the funniest). But our conversations are always meaningful no matter the topic.
Whether you are a mom who works outside of the home or in the home, remember that we are all doing the best we can for our families.
I enjoy listening to her talk about what is happening with work and she enjoys hearing about my "work" day with my very energetic little boss who is my toddler. We enjoy the conversations as it provides us a venue to vent especially if we had a bad day or even week. We also offer some insight from an outsider's perspective on an issue that we may be having or we just lend a listening ear.
Our conversations also help us realize how great we are as moms and sometimes if we forget, we are great at reminding each other how awesome we are. We bond over what we have in common and that is what connects us beyond motherhood.
Maybe it's our mutual understanding that our lives are similar but how we lived out our day was different. Could even be our respect for each other as people or maybe because we didn't allow a title to define our friendship. No matter what the reason is we are both grateful to have one another in each other's lives. We are there to empathize, support and be the best friend we can be -- but then again that is what friends do!
Whether you are a mom who works outside of the home or in the home, remember that we are all doing the best we can for our families. Let us be mindful of others and support one another. We just need to empathize and break the divide between SAHM and working moms. We have more in common than we think and we can offer so much to one another.
Our days are different, there is no denying that but at the end of the day we are all moms and that is our common ground. That alone is special and a start to any friendship.
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On how motherhood changes you. “[Motherhood] is hard but it's phenomenal. It's the greatest thing I ever did. He makes me be a dickhead, and he makes me feel young, and there's nothing more grounding than a kid kicking off and refusing to do what you're asking of them. It used to be that my own world revolved around me, but now it has to revolve around him.”
On setting a good example for your kids. “For me, being a mother made me a better professional, because coming home every night to my girls reminded me what I was working for. And being a professional made me a better mother, because by pursuing my dreams, I was modeling for my girls how to pursue their dreams.”
On the idea of being a perfect mother. “The fastest way to break the cycle of perfectionism and become a fearless mother is to give up the idea of doing it perfectly – indeed to embrace uncertainty and imperfection.”
On mastering work-life balance. “I have so much admiration for women who are mothers, who balance family and work. I see them and I have this word in my head — respect. I also look to learn. I see these women and I think, ‘Yes, it can be balanced, it can all work out.’”
On remembering you are not alone. “Motherhood has taught me to be more connected to other human beings. All mothers everywhere, we are all responsible for each other. We’re not different, but rather more similar than you think– so if you’re fighting a battle alone, choose not to fight it alone.”
On taking care of yourself. “You always have to remember to take care of you first and foremost. Because when you stop taking care of yourself, you get out of balance and you really forget how to take care of others.”
On love. “Love as powerful as your mother’s for you leaves its own mark… to have been loved so deeply... will give us some protection forever.”
On finding strength through loss. “I have gained a more profound understanding of what it is to be a mother. As heartbroken as I am, I look at my children each day and rejoice that they are alive. I appreciate every smile, every hug.”
On the joys of motherhood. “I see myself as mom first. I’m so lucky to have that role in life. The world can like me, hate me or fall apart around me and at least I wake up with my kids and I’m happy.”
On respecting fellow moms. “There is an unspoken pact that women are supposed to follow. I am supposed to act like I constantly feel guilty about being away from my kids. (I don't. I love my job.) Mothers who stay at home are supposed to pretend they are bored and wish they were doing more corporate things. (They don't. They love their job.)”
On the power of hugs. “Hugs can do great amounts of good – especially for children.”
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