THE BLOG

We're Done Having Kids: Knowing When To Stop Making Babies

04/27/2013 02:39 EDT | Updated 06/27/2013 05:12 EDT
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Woman holding her son at sunset

My daughter keeps asking for a little sister. At first it was cute...then it started to evolve into a daily request, which became harder and harder to address.

I can relate.

Growing up as the only girl (I have two younger brothers) in my family I, too, yearned for a sister. I'm pretty sure I even begged my own mother for one and I would say her answer was pretty much the same as mine..."Not a chance."

My husband and I always say we are 99.9 per cent sure we are finished having children. For whatever reason, we haven't taken the measures to ensure that the possibility of another child is completely void. In my heart, though, I feel my family is complete.

I don't get a sense that anyone or anything is missing. I love that both my kids are out of the baby stage -- as fun as that was -- and that we have evolved into a tight little foursome who are mobile, spontaneous and well-rested (AMEN!).

Also, I can't deny the fact that after 4.5 years postpartum, I finally feel like I have my body "back." I am quite certain that I don't want to go down the pregnancy path again.

No sister

My daughter still manages to find a response when I tell her that mommy doesn't want to grow a baby in her body again. "We can adopt a baby that doesn't have a mommy and daddy." Heart melts. This is a more complicated one to address.

I try to tell her that we want to make sure that we are able to provide well for her and her brother... that we are so lucky to have what we do and that we, of course, always want to help others in need.

We don't feel we have room in our house or finances to take care of another person right now... this could change, obviously, but I don't want her to get her hopes up.

Have you decided that "you're done"? How did you explain this to your kids when they asked about more siblings?