The Liberal Party of Canada checked into public relations rehab this week. In fact, the party took a page directly from the Lindsay Lohandbook (horrible pun, I know) when it announced its interim leader last Wednesday.
Just like Lohan, the Liberal Party sat humbled in front of the media, milked a fading celebrity status, and promised wholeheartedly to change. Bob Rae even shielded his party from scrutiny like a pair of D&G sunglasses as he calmly projected a message of hope.
It was vintage Lohan, I'm telling you.
The similarities were so real that I am convinced the Liberal Party of Canada has adopted the public relations strategy of a celebrity who hit rock bottom.
I can see them in their war room now, proclaiming that the Liberals will be more sought-after than Bret Michaels after The Apprentice! As respected as Mickey Rourke after The Wrestler! Or even as popular as Downey Jr. after Ironman!
Now, with the press conference taken care of, the Liberal Party need follow three remaining steps to reach the rehabilitation pinnacle.
Step one: Seek endorsement from someone outside the conflict.
This is done constantly in Hollywood. Ms. Lohan has called on Britney Spears to be a spokesperson for her sanity. Maybe not the best choice of representative, but an attempt nonetheless.
To fit the mould, the Liberals should seek Canadians who lead outside of the political realm, involve them in the rebuilding process, and appear in public with them as often as possible.
A few staged paparazzi events won't hurt either.
Step two: Distract the media with a 'new project to focus on.'
Lohan once promoted her role in a Linda Lovelace biopic to avoid media coverage on personal issues (an extreme measure to say the least).
Thankfully, the Grits need not resort to such desperate measures. For the beleaguered party, taking an uncompromising position on a hot-button issue could be considered a new project! If done properly, such action could flip the media script, and show Canadians that Liberal brand stands for something once more.
Or at the very least, it could stop an MTV employee from writing a Huffington Post piece about how screwed the party is.
Either way, a positive result will follow.
Step three: Choose a new guru.
It's been rumoured that Lohan has rejected her Catholic upbringing to follow Gotti: Three Generations co-star John Travolta to Scientology (juicy scoop, I know).
While steering clear of any Hubbard-inspired material would be intelligent, the Liberals should follow a similar path. They would do well to ditch their party executive and select a new group of leaders who hold different ideals. Most importantly, the Grits should include the views of women and minority groups at the top of their hierarchy.
The celebrity rehab equation is simple: hold a press conference, seek outside endorsements, find new projects, and follow new leadership.
Come to think of it, it may actually be a good plan for a party facing an identity crisis.
Maybe the Liberals will use such guidance to rise from the ashes, and gain the faith of Canadians once more. Or, perhaps the plan will fail miserably, and the party will fall back on its old nasty habits.
Either way, given Ms. Lohan's precedent, it's clear we are in for an interesting four years.Suggest a correction