Canada is known as America's polite hat. My Canadian friends always encourage me to travel with Canadian flags stuck to my luggage when going to Europe, as I will be treated "better" if I manage to trick Europeans into thinking I'm Canadian. Why? Because, according to them, the world's opinion of an American's manners has been shaped with labels such as "American idiot" or the "ugly American."
In my travels, however, I've found that Canadians seem to be the only people obsessed with not being mistaken for Americans. If I tell a French person or an Italian I am American, no acid is thrown in my face; he or she does not begin berating me over America's foreign policy, or even blame me for Europe's economic woes. More often, I find Europeans usually will immediately want to talk about their love of America -- and end up telling me about their first trip to New York or Miami or LA.
Yes, Canadians are famously polite. But as I have found as an American living in Canada, this may just be a very convenient stereotype. Politeness does not automatically mean you are also kinder, or more generous, or a generally better person than another. Although Americans, generally speaking, may seem loud when out in public, or unapologetic when they run into you in the street, I've found they are more likely to say good morning to you in the elevator, or come more quickly to your aid when you are in some sort of trouble. Manners are better than no manners, of course; but manners are something that can be taught. Actions speak louder than "please."
Recently, I was on a flight departing from Washington D.C. to Toronto. Sitting behind me were two businessmen; from their conversation I gathered that one was American and the other was Canadian. The Canadian asked the American if he had been to Canada before. The American replied that he had not yet had the pleasure of visiting Canada, however, he was very excited to visit Toronto as his Canadian business partners had been so polite and wonderful. The Canadian businessman laughed (in my opinion, rather nastily) and informed the American to "be careful" as Canadians saw Americans as "extremely rude." The American took this insulting generalization good-naturedly, and even chuckled.
But to me this exchange struck me as a perfect example of Canadian rudeness. It is the very opposite of politeness to keep pointing out to others how polite you are and how inferior are their manners. Now that I have spent so much time away from the States, I notice not the "rudeness" or "loudness" of my compatriots, but in fact their extraordinary graciousness in the face of total strangers who keep telling them how unpleasant they are.
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I've had bosses, teachers, friends, boyfriends, and Canadian family members tell me that they are "surprised...I don't seem like an American."
In all my time in the U.S., however, I have never heard anything rude, or ignorant said about the fact that I am also Canadian. I've never been asked if we live in igloos, never been asked if we don't have highways...all of that is coming from the Canadian side...and it's pretty awful.
Well, duh, who else is going to be mistaken for Americans when traveling? I've met New Zealanders who object to being mistaken for Australians - so we gave each other lessons on how to distinguish between our respective accents.
So , no it's just Canadians...
I cannot say the same for Canadians, on average. For example, in a crowded room or other venue, most Canadians I rub shoulders with act as though they are the only ones there, and stare past you like you were a piece of inconveniently placed furniture, should you come too close. There is little idle conversation, and few smiles in recognition. Likewise with store clerks or wait staff, who often seem to ignore you except to take the money; no eye contact at all. Further I am almost daily flipped off in traffic, elbowed in doorways, and cut off in line at food stands. I simply do not experience this behavior to any significant degree when I am in the States.
Would that Canadian truly were polite and genial. I agree with the author here in that much of that "politeness" is a convenient myth.
Canadians are rude and obstreperous and, like you say, are either hostile or wary of eye contact or personal engagement; their arrogance in thinking they're better than Americans is one of the most obnoxious commonalities, found among people from all provinces, though to a much lesser degree in the Maritimes and Newfoundland, where people don't have the same kind of defensive - or aggressive - self-importance, that marks so much of the rest of the country. Americans are congenial and, yes, more likely to help you out, and are not wary of strangers as most Canadians have become, at least those west of the Ottawa River, and especially west of the Great Lakes.
False self-importance is a mark of a lack of real confidence, and also of just a plain bad attitude; too much of this country has it, and not just the Tory-voting element either.
I do know I'd rather sit next to an American on a plane or in a foreign restaurant than another Canadian.....
I can't describe how wonderful I feel when I'm away from large cities - in the States or in Canada. In both of these countries, there are sincere, caring people who will go out of the way to start up a little conversation while buying groceries. That is the mark of a polite person, in my books.
I think the idea that Americans are mean and rude is the equivellent of talking smack about the neighbour down the road. Doesn't do a lick of good.
that even works with the rude people, regardless of where they are from.
However, I feel that it takes a lot more time to connect to a lot of folks in the larger cities. They are busy people. (Surely, I've found myself in the same situation.) In smaller cities, it's taken about six months to a year to get to know people. In the larger city I'm in, it's taken a while.