THE BLOG

Dating... It's a Bit Like Musical Chairs

03/20/2012 09:15 EDT | Updated 05/20/2012 05:12 EDT

Do you ever wish that dating and falling in love could be as easy as it seems in the movies? I'm a true believer that if you continue being open to new possibilities you will find love. It just might take a few tries... and a little longer than it does in the movies!

While I'm sure Winston Churchill didn't mean this in relation to dating, this quote can be applied to many areas of life... "Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm." It's those that persevere in life that achieve success. (Walt Disney was fired from his first job as an animator. Imagine how different the world of animation would be if he had given up!) Dating is all about persistence. If one relationship doesn't work out, it opens the door for the truly amazing connection that could be right around the corner...

It's almost like a game of musical chairs -- there's anticipation and excitement, as well as fear that we aren't going to find a seat before they're all gone! Throughout our lives we may sit down multiple times. When a chair doesn't work out, the music starts again and we go for our next chair. To make the musical chairs game a little more fun, choose your "ready-for-love" song. Mine is "Love On Top" by Beyonce... she did manage to snag Jay-Z after all!

There are 30-plus women of different ages in my company, so I had some great perspectives to draw upon when writing this blog. The bulk of the girls are in their 20s; they're young, optimistic and most haven't experienced much heartbreak. Life is exciting and full of options! The biggest decision you need to make in your 20s is whether you want to actually sit your skinny a** on a chair or keep playing musical chairs for a while. (By the way, no matter what size you are later in life -- you're a** will never be as great as it was in your 20s!)

There are dating challenges at any age though, and one of the girls brought up an interesting one for those in their 20s. It wasn't to do with men, but rather with friends and how their judgments and comments had influenced her dating choices. We need to remember that although friends will pipe in with their opinions, it's you that will have to live with your decisions. If you think someone might be your soulmate -- take your friends' opinions under advisement, but make your own call. (Even if your choices aren't perfect, mistakes teach the best life lessons!)

In our 30s there can be a lot of pressure to "settle down." If you got here without getting married you've likely had a few relationships that haven't worked out. It may be time to take stock. One girlfriend of mine made a list of "deal breakers" to help her find Mr. Right. She had been in several fairly long relationships that hadn't worked out. After analyzing the relationship issues, she realized that most of the problems had been apparent at the beginning. She had just hoped they would change. She came up with a list of 10 things that, if apparent at any point in the dating cycle, would cause her to walk away. It wasn't always easy, but she stuck to her deal breakers and less than a year later she found her husband. They're one of the happiest couples I know and a delight to be around!

For some, dating continues, or begins again, in their 40s. Although it may sound daunting, the reality is that the dating world has expanded and can be even more fulfilling! There are a large number of divorcees out there who have a better idea of what they're looking for the second time around. The pressure of having children, or marrying a suitable father, may no longer be there. Also, at this point in life, many people have come into their own financially and can afford to travel and realize fun life dreams. A great time, perhaps, to explore Italy with a romantic interest and become a bit of a wine connoisseur...

The world of dating can be fun at any age. The other day my 36-year-old girlfriend complained that her 65-year-old mother was dating more than she was! Apparently her mother had joined a dating service that catered to older people and was having the time of her life.

There's no formula for success in the game of love. There are successful relationships that started with long courtships while others had short courtships. Some couples are happy opposites and others enjoy like-minded bliss. Some marry their first loves and others find their deepest love after several love relationships. No matter what your age is, If you persevere and put your love out in the universe it will come back to you.

Until Friday...

xo Natasha

@natashankpr