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I'm willing to bet that the person involved in the email confrontation was not aware that she was being unfair, humiliating, potentially malicious or vindictive. I'm willing to bet that these people thought they were handing the situation clearly and in a businesslike manner. That was not the case.
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If I am going to have a conversation about washing bodies and clothing, my goal is that my employee (or co-worker) will agree to wash their clothing and body on a more regular basis. Perhaps you want them to take home any clothing they have stored at work, for a washing. Maybe you want them to stop wearing cologne. Perhaps you want them to shower after using the gym at lunch.
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Rather than focusing on your anger, focus on hearing what the other person is saying. Don't listen to what they are saying -- hearing and listening are two totally different things. Hear past the person's words, and try to understand what they are trying to tell you.
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I'm dealing with an avoider. I find it very frustrating. Every once in a while you will encounter a situation where you want to deal with it in a calm, professional manner, and the person with whom yo...
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Susan was a fellow office manager. She was given a budget to decorate for Christmas. As she transformed our offices with green and tinsel, she also loudly voiced what a waste of time and money it was. She even complained about the lunch-time Christmas party on Christmas Eve when we could leave early. Oh, for crying out loud!
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Having been a counsellor and crisis interventionist, I have supported people who only began dealing with horrible experiences after a trigger in their environment. And far as emotional triggers around sexual abuse go; this election is a doozy.
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Dealing with enemies is never easy. Remember that they do have an agenda; they are trying to get ahead, at your expense. Deal with them professionally and consistently, and very quickly they will learn not to mess with you.
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I'm currently taking a refresher course on dealing with aggressiveness in someone we want to have a relationship with. When someone tells me that they are chronically being treated aggressively, it is...
Here's the deal: we can't make everybody happy. Sometimes conversations we need to have will make other people unhappy. Sometimes we will not be able to make them feel heard in the time allotted.
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Having worked in mental health, I've seen the other kinds of scars. Unfortunately, I've also been victim to them myself. Years ago, I worked at a children's charity. The executive director (ED) verbally abused staff. The first time I heard her scream, I thought she was injured and ran into her office. I was shocked when I realized screaming was her way of asking for a file.
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Feedback should be regular, meaningful and authentic. It should help employees, co-workers and mentees grow in their roles; as leaders, as team members, as service providers. It should not be something that's only attached to performance management, feedback and reprimand.
Larry shouted at me for a file. He was neither polite nor was his volume appropriate. I calmly and deliberately brought him the wrong file. He had a temper tantrum. Yup, just like a three-year-old. I let him rage and when he stopped for a breath, I calmly and firmly said, "I cannot hear what you need when you scream at me like that."
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It's natural to fear difficult conversations, however the truth is that when we practice compassion and treat each other with respect, the conversations rarely are as difficult as we expect.
Do you work with someone whose behaviour is challenging your energy and enthusiasm for work? Maybe it's a family member, who you find yourself avoiding because he or she is a real "downer" at family gatherings. Remember these simple tips as you prepare for your conversation.
Unfortunately, what tends to happen is that when they get triggered and react, we respond in kind. And it gets ugly. Welcome to the human race. In an ideal world, we all strive to staying rational when confronting, or confronted by, a difficult person, especially in the workplace. Here are five strategies that come in handy especially if your boss "goes medieval" on you.