Investing in friendships is part of a finding a healthy balance in life. We care for and enjoy our friends, but sometimes we might forget to think about how we can secure and grow our friendships. Any sort of investment requires some time and thought. Maintaining friendships requires effort, but when we look at the health benefits of friendships, this effort is worth it.
You can safely assume by the fact that I had four children in five and a half years, that I did not have much difficulty conceiving. However, two of my very best friends struggled for years to get pregnant, so while I would not want to give advice to someone who can't conceive, I do feel qualified to give advice about what do to when your friend can't get pregnant while you can.
A strange thing happened when my son was diagnosed with autism a few years ago. Some of my friends dove for the hills. They didn't all disappear, but some just gradually dropped off. This post isn't about finger-pointing. I get how hard it is. You don't know what to say without feeling awkward or guilty.
Like a good friend are looking forward to guiding her through the hemorrhoid-laden, mood swing-driven, nauseating ball of heartburn, nine months of torture that pregnancy can be. But as months pass, you wait for a sign that she has any pregnancy symptom aside from her perfect beach ball belly and constant gold and pink glow.
There is a wellspring of magic in women empowering other women. I would argue that it is one of the most transformational forces in the world for stretching our purpose on this planet. But I have witnessed that as powerful as we can be in uplifting each other, we are also a formidable force for bringing each other down.
I used to be one of those girls who said I didn't like girls. Now I'm really embarrassed. I am a reformed girl hater. I still have a ton of dude friends (whom I also love and am obsessed with and think the world of and enjoy the person I am when I am with!) but I learned how to be a good girlfriend.
I have been with my husband for 13 years, seven of which we have spent as a married couple. Roughly five-and-a-half years ago I started dating. Women. It may sound like I succumbed to something akin to the seven-year-itch, let my hair down and started to experiment a little, but the truth is rather more mundane: I joined my first baby group.
Ten years ago, most of my friends were male. That's not to say that I didn't see the value in having girlfriends, I just preferred the simplicity and lighthearted approach of men. There was very little drama and very low expectations associated with these kinds of friendships. But once I reached my mid-20s, girlfriends became more important.
You're a wife and mother to a four-year-old with another baby on the way. I, on the other hand, am still single, trying to figure out my next career move and wondering if I'll ever find a husband or have kids. I know we've always called ourselves "best friends," but lately I've been wondering if we're living up to the title.
I know when my children were young, I intentionally put my career on hold. I just instinctively knew I couldn't handle both, and my children were my priority. But I also don't think we should become martyrs to motherhood either and I recognize that taking a break or reducing your involvement can limit your future success.