I didn't realize that I wasn't a virgin until the day, after coming home from Grade 1, I finally worked up the courage to ask my mother what sex was. I remember experiencing a strange sinking feeling as she calmly described to me some vague approximation of the terrifying ritual which a group of older boys I knew had been forcing me to perform with them for some time. When I started to become acquainted in later years with the world of feminist activism, I immediately felt alienated by the ways in which mainstream feminist movements approached things like sexual empowerment and body acceptance. Almost 10 years later, the face of popular, "sex-positive" feminism seems to have changed very little.
A longer lasting solution for pumping up your sexual 'oomph' comes from a different type of sexual variety. By changing the how instead of the who, we can open a world of sexual pleasure for a lifetime. By fighting against your body's natural habit of getting locked in to one method of pleasure, you can train yourself to enjoy a much wider variety of sensations and situations.
By the time this couple came to talk to me, they were in a pretty bad sexual rut. They had been married for 15 years and had two teenage kids. Both were masturbating almost daily, at about the same time in the evening without their partner knowing. To top it off, neither wanted the other to know what they were up to because they were too ashamed of their behavior.
Women, take a deep breath. Sexual nirvana, the latest elixir in a bottle, has arrived. Enter Lybrido. The makers of Lybrido, ironically called Emotional Brain, are cynically cashing in on our insecurities as women. Lybrido might help but make no mistake -- another pill to pop does not replace the old-fashioned virtues of respect, love and affection, all of which were contained in the erstwhile activity called courtship.
Porn can be an exciting, fun and easy way to get aroused. It can help to inspire you sexually and teach you about sex. But porn is "fantasy" and more often than not, a male-centric one. Real-life sex is quite different. If you are learning how to have sex from porn, you may be getting misinformation, especially when it comes to pleasing a woman. Don't get misled. This column contains what some could consider graphic sexual language and topics.
For over a hundred years, sex researchers, feminists and pop culture have been enmeshed in an ongoing debate as to which is superior: the vaginal or clitoral orgasm. Regrettably, their high-brow ponderings have left the average gal in their wake wondering whether her orgasm is either real or even the best one.